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Old 09-03-2010, 12:37 PM   #11
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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Originally Posted by elibellij View Post
You cannot do that. What the mother says goes. If you think there is an issue of this little one being deprived, it needs to be reported.

Those who donate milk need to be approved by the parents and blood tested.

This is your bodily fluid, and I can tell you that I would have reported you to an authority if you had fed my child your breast milk without my consent.
Not flaming you at all OP, but the highlighted is the main issue here. I think it is awesome if you want to communicate with the mom that you would be willing to let her lo have some of your breastmilk to see if she will drink it better than formula, then the mother can make an informed choice.

Think about it this way...How mad would you be if someone "though" (didn't know for sure) your child was being underfed so they gave your baby formula without your consent. I know I would be LIVID. Perhaps this baby has reverse cycled. You just don't know and until you know for sure there isn't a whole lot you can do. Now if your DCP suspects that the baby isn't eating at home either that is a form of abuse and if I'm not mistaken DCP's are REQUIRED by law to report any suspected abuse.

OP your heart is most definitely in the right place, but some more information needs to be found out before jumping to conclusions and doing something that can get you in trouble legally!

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Old 09-03-2010, 12:39 PM   #12
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Mama, I am not flaming you... but you really need to think about this a little more. I realize you are in a tough spot, and doing what your heart tells you is best for this baby. But you are walking a fine line, and if the mama of the baby has an issue with you feeding her daughter your BM without her permission, this can get REAL ugly, REAL fast. And I mean LEGALLY ugly. Breastmilk is a bodily fluid, capable of transferring disease and medication. I am most certaintly NOT saying these are issues with you as I'm sure you wouldn't even go there if it were... but that mama could use this as grounds to stand on if she wanted to press charges. Maybe that is extreme, but you just never know. There are reasons milk donors have to be screened.

Would I be able to just sit by and watch a 5 month old baby who doesn't eat for 11 hours straight? Absolutely not. Which is why I would have to have a SERIOUS conversation w/ the mother. Not just a, "Did you know she doesn't eat anything all day?" "oh yeah, its okay" type of thing. I'd have to explain to her my concerns, explain to her why it isn't okay. Being her care provider, I feel I'd have a right to know.. if she isn't eating here, how often does she eat at home? (like a PP said, maybe she switched her habits, and goes all day not eating but nurses all night?) 11 hours throughout the day still seems extreme, but my point is.. more questions need to be asked & answered. *I* am a grown woman and I don't even go 11 hours without eating. A baby who only takes in liquids definitely needs to eat more often than that. The DC provider NEEDS to press the issue more. And if all else fails, the DC provider's concernes go unanswered & she still doesn't know the baby is being properly nourished, like I said.. I would definitely alert someone of my concerns... someone who can get something done about it, if the mother refuses to aknowledge the potential problem. I know not everyone would agree with this, but 11 hours throughout the day with NO food is just too much, especially for a baby. And the fact you added she DID guzzle the breastmilk down.. she is obviously hungry but doesn't like formula. And who can blame her? Its nasty and it tastes NOTHING like breastmilk, not even close.

So anyhow, my point is.. be careful. You can definitely get yourself into some serious trouble giving this baby your BM without moms permission. But also don't stand by & watch this baby go a full day with nothing to eat, every day. If all else fails, the DC provider needs to contact someone with more authority.
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Old 09-03-2010, 12:41 PM   #13
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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Originally Posted by elibellij View Post
You cannot do that. What the mother says goes. If you think there is an issue of this little one being deprived, it needs to be reported.

Those who donate milk need to be approved by the parents and blood tested.

This is your bodily fluid, and I can tell you that I would have reported you to an authority if you had fed my child your breast milk without my consent.
I agree with this.

Maybe it's a pump issue. They are kind of spendy. Maybe mama needs help finding an affordable pump.
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Old 09-03-2010, 01:02 PM   #14
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

oh gosh, I didn't realize the caregiver didn't ask the mom, no you can't do that at all!
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Old 09-03-2010, 06:54 PM   #15
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

I really do appreciate all of the concern, but obviously I can't change what I've already done. I won't even be back to daycare until Tuesday, so I can't do any more damage until then. haha. I know it wouldn't matter much in court, but I don't take any medications and I live a very healthy lifestyle. If she doesn't care that the baby doesn't eat why would she care what she eats? I guess we'll find out. I'm not saying that to argue with anyone, just to show another side of the picture.

Hopefully the DCP will find out more next week and we can talk more about it. The little girl has only been there about a week and a half, and I think the mother isn't being very communicative. She didn't even put the girl's name on the paperwork that she signed the first day! I'm sure that the DCP will look into it and see if there is something that needs to be reported. I will update this thread when I know more
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Old 09-03-2010, 07:12 PM   #16
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Please do update mama. I don't think any of us were attacking you. I know how heart wrenching it can be when you feel helpless and thankfully there are people like you out there in the world who care. I would just hate to see you get into trouble for your good intentions!
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Old 09-03-2010, 08:02 PM   #17
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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Please do update mama. I don't think any of us were attacking you. I know how heart wrenching it can be when you feel helpless and thankfully there are people like you out there in the world who care. I would just hate to see you get into trouble for your good intentions!
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Old 09-04-2010, 02:32 AM   #18
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Maybe, if it turns out she isn't eating like a horse after daycare and overnight, it's time to introduce solids? She's 5mos and until not long ago we were all doing solids from 4mos anyway.
Anyway, just a thought. obviously the DCP would have to bring that up with the mom but it might be a solution.
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Old 09-04-2010, 02:32 AM   #19
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Maybe, if it turns out she isn't eating like a horse after daycare and overnight, it's time to introduce solids? She's 5mos and until not long ago we were all doing solids from 4mos anyway.
Anyway, just a thought. obviously the DCP would have to bring that up with the mom but it might be a solution.
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Old 09-04-2010, 02:48 AM   #20
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

I used to work in the nursery of a daycare for 3 years. We had many breastfed babies. One particular little girl started at 3 months and would NOT take a bottle. Her mom was a teacher and she went from 7am until 3:30 without eating a thing. Nothing. It was actually a little frightening for all of us, but she just would not. Not w/ a dropper, a bottle, a cup, etc. This is what we did:

First, she did reverse cycle. She kept her mom up half the night nursing, so she was getting her fluids. Plenty of wet diapers, so we knew she wasn't dehydrated.

Second, we tried every bottle made. She didn't care.

Third, we waited, and kept trying. It took a month, but she ate. She required her milk very hot. Almost too hot, and she would drink the entire 9oz. bottle in one go, just once during the day. Usually about 4ish hours after drop off.

Clearly she wasn't on solids yet, and was too young for water. It was really trying at times to work with her, but we kept trying. If one of us got frustrated, we'd hand her off to another caregiver to try. Oh....and we also tried propping her bottle (just in case it was an issue w/ it not being her mom holding her).

Just some suggestions you can offer the provider. Oh...and I think she should really encourage the mom to pump. Seems like she'd be in pain herself going all day w/out pumping or nursing.
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