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Old 09-12-2010, 11:11 PM   #21
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

I have been wondering about this baby girl. Any updates mama?

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Old 09-13-2010, 12:35 PM   #22
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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Originally Posted by elibellij View Post
You cannot do that. What the mother says goes. If you think there is an issue of this little one being deprived, it needs to be reported.

Those who donate milk need to be approved by the parents and blood tested.

This is your bodily fluid, and I can tell you that I would have reported you to an authority if you had fed my child your breast milk without my consent.
i second the reporting. if theres nothing wrong nothing will happen but if there is then the baby will get help.

and i second the no feeding other babies your bm without the consent.
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Old 09-14-2010, 07:42 AM   #23
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

First off, I would absolutely take legal action against somebody who fed my baby their breastmilk without my consent. For one reason, ALLERGIES. My kids had severe allergies, and ANY lactose hurt them. Secondly, I am their mother and what I say GOES. For babies who have no known allergies and both parties (mother and donor) consent, I am all about sharing breastmilk for a hungry baby. All it would have taken was a phone call. I'm actually that mom that will get in a tizzy over my kids being fed anything without my consent. So, bodily fluids would top the chart.

Anyway... I've worked as a daycare teacher since I was 16 (minus the time of staying home with my kids for 3 years). I've seen many breastfed babies go long stretches because they will not take bottles. Not that it's the best, but they generally make up for it at night. They just cluster feed.

As far as her being small - my babes were TINY (under 20 lbs at 1 year, DD was around 15-16) and she was def. fed every 2 hours. Small does not mean she's starving.
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Old 09-14-2010, 07:53 AM   #24
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

ok so my niece was malnourished (lack of knowledge on my sis n laws part) and she was the size of a newborn when she was 6 months old still wearing newborn clothes so if she's much bigger i'd imagine she's getting something to eat even if she wont eat at the daycare. however if it were my child i would be rather worried about it so sad mom doesnt seem bothered by it. \
also my niece had gone a long while with getting hardly anything to eat breastmilk ect... and she was a mess i dont think a baby can get "used" to being hungry i think she would still be rather fussy which is how my niece was all the time day and night!
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Old 09-14-2010, 08:13 AM   #25
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Wow I would be LIVID as well about someone giving my child bm with asking me!! I'm one too that would be furious if someone formula fed my child and I wouldn't have doubted it if my MIL tried with my first little girl. BOTH of my children are VERY small and are HEALTHY and purely bf. My first was 16lbs at a year and a half and this one is 19lbs at 2 so small but both are healthy and eat GREAT!!

As for the pumping issue: she may not be able to pump, I fed both my girls and had TONS of milk for them but couldn't get a letdown from the pump?? I would've had to nurse/formula feed if I'd have had to worked.

To answer some of the questions about the mom: If you've ever nursed a toddler you would know that they're nursing habits are sooo not routine, they go for hours without eating or even several nights but then they want to eat and your milk WILL be there as long as they suck. As long as the baby sucks daily the milk will be there when it's needed. Trust me I'm still nursing my 2 year old an did with my oldest til' she was 4. Many times babies are small cuz there small, and they don't eat because they're not hungry, I'm sure if that momma is nursing her child and she sends formula that she is doing what she feels is BEST for that baby. I really have NEVER seen a momma who nurses her child be someone who doesn't care for her child or what the child needs.
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Old 09-14-2010, 08:32 AM   #26
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Quote:
Originally Posted by elibellij View Post
You cannot do that. What the mother says goes. If you think there is an issue of this little one being deprived, it needs to be reported.

Those who donate milk need to be approved by the parents and blood tested.

This is your bodily fluid, and I can tell you that I would have reported you to an authority if you had fed my child your breast milk without my consent.



For those who say that at 5 months the baby should be sleeping at long stretches at night...would you tell me the secret? DD started reverse cycling when I went to work. She'd take a bottle of my breastmilk from H or my mom or whoever had her at the time, but then she'd nurse ALL.NIGHT.LONG. until she was probably 10-11 months...and even then she was still nursing a few times a night.

If you or the DCP feel there's neglect going on, then report it. It is absolutely the wrong thing to be giving her your milk without the mother's approval/consent. Not only does that put you at risk for a variety of consequences but it also puts the DCP at risk.

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I really do appreciate all of the concern, but obviously I can't change what I've already done. I won't even be back to daycare until Tuesday, so I can't do any more damage until then. haha. I know it wouldn't matter much in court, but I don't take any medications and I live a very healthy lifestyle. If she doesn't care that the baby doesn't eat why would she care what she eats? I guess we'll find out. I'm not saying that to argue with anyone, just to show another side of the picture.

Hopefully the DCP will find out more next week and we can talk more about it. The little girl has only been there about a week and a half, and I think the mother isn't being very communicative. She didn't even put the girl's name on the paperwork that she signed the first day! I'm sure that the DCP will look into it and see if there is something that needs to be reported. I will update this thread when I know more
I know lots of healthy mothers who aren't on medications, who eat well, who are awesome people but I wouldn't let them breastfeed my child...for a multitude of reasons. Allergies being a big one, and all other things aside, it's still bodily fluid, before I allow my child to drink someone else's breastmilk I want blood results.

I know you're trying to do what's right, and help the baby...I think that it's awesome that you've offered to provide BM to the baby during the day, but you and the DCP are still bound by the parents requests/wants. I'm still at a loss on this...if the DCP is this upset by things, why hasn't she reported it?!? DCPs are mandated reporters.
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:02 AM   #27
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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For those who say that at 5 months the baby should be sleeping at long stretches at night...would you tell me the secret?

No secret here, but all 5 of mine STTN well before 5 months. But the more I read around the boards, the more I think I just got lucky? But I did figure by 5months old babies generally sleep fairly long stretches at night..... ? Although it obviously varies by child. Then again, maybe I am completely off and its more common for a baby around that age to wake frequently at night instead of STTN. My ped. always asks around a few months of age is baby is sleeping all night "yet" .... so I figured it was the norm.
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:44 AM   #28
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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Wow, lots of different opinions! You have given me a lot of things to think about!

The little girl seems pretty happy; she just won't eat. I know that the daycare provider has spoken to the mother about it, but I don't know much more than that. I have no idea if they cosleep or if mom is pumping or anything. To me it is worrying that she doesn't seem to be bothered by not eating for that long- almost like she is used to it now. I don't know anything about her pediatrician either.

Please don't flame me, but I did bring milk to the daycare and she did drink it from the bottle like she was very hungry. The daycare provider is going to inform the mother that I can provide some milk for the baby. I am also going to talk to the daycare provider to see if we can find out more of the backstory. (I only pump a few days a week, though), but I just couldn't in good conscience let that little girl go without eating if there is something that I could do to help. Honestly I don't care what the mother says- if the baby won't drink formula then I will bring milk if I have it. When she starts solids I might not have to worry about it, but until then I will do what I can to help. Maybe I'll get the mom a card and explain all of this..
Your heart may be in the right place but I would seriously consider having you arrested. I would report the DCP to the state as well. She will lose her license. That baby HAS a Mom and you are not it. She could be deathly allergic to ANYTHING in your diet, you just don't know.

If this were an emergency life or death situation it would be different. Perhaps you could OFFER to pump for the baby instead of just doing whatever you want with someones elses child.
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Old 09-14-2010, 11:33 AM   #29
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

OMG if someone expressed milk with the intent of giving it to my child without my consent and my daycare provider actually gave it to my child without my consent....
That daycare provider would be with a license and both of you would have some serious legal issues to deal with.

You don't know the whole story, you don't know if that baby has allergies to anything. Your heart is in the right place but you are going about it in a very wrong way and putting others at risk.
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Old 09-14-2010, 11:37 AM   #30
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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OMG if someone expressed milk with the intent of giving it to my child without my consent and my daycare provider actually gave it to my child without my consent....
That daycare provider would be with a license and both of you would have some serious legal issues to deal with.

You don't know the whole story, you don't know if that baby has allergies to anything. Your heart is in the right place but you are going about it in a very wrong way and putting others at risk.
Ditto. I'm speechless after reading about this.
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