What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

[brewanothercup]

Originally Posted by magooken i just thought i'd put this out there, since no one else has mentioned it. the baby DID drink the breastmilk left by the OP. so maybe she is hungry, but just doesn't like her formula? i think everyone agrees that it was a bad move, though. i got mad when my dcp gave my daughter an ounce of water! i don't know what i'd do if something like this happened.

I think my DS would take a bottle every hour if it was offered to him; he'd end up spitting it up because he's full, but he's take it. IMHO I don't think that's a sign that the baby doesn't like her formula. At least not a reliable sign.

Honestly, I'd be less upset about my baby getting someone else's breastmilk (though I'd still be upset!) than about the conversation that the provider is having with others. There is such a thing as confidentiality, and if there is genuine concern over the wellbeing of the baby then it is the PROVIDER'S legal obligation to report this to the authorities, not another parent. That would make me furious and yes, I would pull my child in a heartbeat. If I then found out they fed my child ANYTHING without my permission I'd be seeing red. Here in Michigan, all bottles must be labeled with the child's name, contents, quantity, and date; obviously this didn't happen in this case and if the place is licensed, I wouldn't be surprised to see them lose their licensing.

[mommajewels]

Originally Posted by magooken i just thought i'd put this out there, since no one else has mentioned it. the baby DID drink the breastmilk left by the OP. so maybe she is hungry, but just doesn't like her formula?

I thought I mentioned the same thing, but maybe not. I 100% agree. She refuses a bottle of formula for 10-12 hours a day, but when given a bottle of breastmilk she gulps it right down. That is absolutely a sign she is hungry, otherwise its more likely she'd refuse it, too. Or only drink a little, and then be done. Come on, MOST adults don't even go 10-12 hours without eating, COMFORTABLY, let alone a baby!!

The taste of formula is NO WHERE NEAR comparable to the traste of breastmilk. It is just..... YUCK! Completely different taste, consistency, etc. It's not uncommon at all for a breastfed baby to NOT like formula.

[songbird516]

Originally Posted by earthmamatobe I don't see anywhere in the post you quoted where she calls you names unless you mean suggesting you were a gossip (and well ...) but what if this other Mom decided YOUR baby was hungry and gave him/her some of the formula that was for her baby? How would you feel about that?

I deleted the part with the name-calling when I quoted..

[songbird516]

Originally Posted by mommajewels I thought I mentioned the same thing, but maybe not. I 100% agree. She refuses a bottle of formula for 10-12 hours a day, but when given a bottle of breastmilk she gulps it right down. That is absolutely a sign she is hungry, otherwise its more likely she'd refuse it, too. Or only drink a little, and then be done. Come on, MOST adults don't even go 10-12 hours without eating, COMFORTABLY, let alone a baby!! The taste of formula is NO WHERE NEAR comparable to the traste of breastmilk. It is just..... YUCK! Completely different taste, consistency, etc. It's not uncommon at all for a breastfed baby to NOT like formula.

Yes, this is what it seemed like to me. Obviously if she had refused the bottle it could have been assumed that she just wanted to nurse, however she didn't. It seems that she just didn't like the formula at all.

The mom apparently wasn't pumping when she was away from the baby- could her supply really have been enough for the baby to be getting enough at night? I've admitted that I should have asked first, but that's really in the past and can't be changed now. If I had any diseases I wouldn't have given her my milk!! Really the issue is over for the time being- the mom didn't pull the child out because she found out about her being fed my milk; really she didn't. I don't know why- maybe her situation changed and she has the girl with her. If that's the case, hopefully it's better for them both. I hope the little girl is okay, but really I wonder. As others have said, though, it's not my baby and I may never know.

For all of those that think my DCP is terrible, then I'm happy that you don't have your kids with her. She's very kind and great with the kids. I know that she also just wanted to do what is best for the baby in question.

[Greenbabybottoms]

I hope the mother was told about her baby being given the milk. I don't see in your followups where you really say one way or another if the mother was told.

[THBVsMama]

Originally Posted by kai_e This. And I totally heart you Brandi.

Originally Posted by Lanasmom ITA! Well said! I truly hope this LO is okay! (And I don't mean that she was harmed by your actions at all I mean I hope her home life is okay)

Originally Posted by mommajewels You said it so much better than I could!!

Thanks, Mamas. I know Sara better than most of the others commenting on this thread and I know she has nothing but the best intentions. I think a lot of the comments are uncalled for on this thread. She is more than aware that she should have asked the mother of the child beforehand -- but to repeatedly condemn her for it is just beating a dead horse. She knows it. She told me in a PM. I think it's safe to say we ALL have made less than perfect decisions in the heat of the moment when our heart strings were being pulled.

[HeatherlovesCDs]

I agree with those saying you did this what the right intentions. Obviously, you should have asked and often hind sight is 20/20. Lesson learned. I'm glad there are those out there who care so much about other people's children.

Oh and just for anyone who is wondering...I have 5 kids, all EBF. They have all slept 10+ hrs at night without nursing by 5 months, including my 5 month old twins. They eat a lot during the day. However, if for some reason they do wake up, they will gladly nurse. (Just to be honest, I'm waking my twins once at night now because one of them was having some major reflux issues that peaked and he started to drop weight. I started that a few weeks ago. He is spitting up less and back to gaining again! They sleep about 8 hrs right now. I'm hoping to stop waking them and get back to 10 in about a month. I didn't do this with any of the other 3.) I also have very small kids, biggest is in the 3-5% range. It is their genetics and has nothing to do with not eating at night. (It's not like they plump up and shoot up on the charts when they get older. My son who will be 5 in Oct is still only 32lbs.) I'm a SAHM. So, I've never had to deal with daycare. But, I would try not to worry. It's totally possible baby is reverse cycling and totally healthy.

ETA - I'm sorry you feel attacked. No flames here. I know your heart was in the right place.

[adriannemae]

Originally Posted by songbird516 Thanks for calling me names, and actually if my baby were going that long without eating, first of all I would not just leave her with someone with food that she wouldn't eat, and also IT WOULDN'T BOTHER ME IF SOMEONE GAVE HER THEIR MILK. I'm not a hypocrite. The health of my baby is the most important thing to me, not some cultural moray against other mother's milk.

Sorry if the chatty hen reference offended you but seriously i really don't think it's cp's place to be telling you this woman's business. I also have to wonder what kind of cp allows another parent to just come in, take care, and make decisions for a child that are not theirs

As far as you not being bothered, that's you! Don't you get that you fed her child your bodily fluids which could contain harmful diseases. I know you say your healthy and clean but there's still a chance and that chance i not yours to take behind another mothers back.
People assuming their healthy and clean is how most diseases are passed in the first place.

This is not about sharing breast milk (which for the record i have no problem with and at one point w ds2 had to seek donor milk myself), it's the fact you thought/think it's ok to parent another's child. You are a stranger and you would most defiantly not be ok w/ another stranger making very personal decisions for your child.

Honestly why did you not call the mother?

[Joyful Tie Dyes]

You know had the OP just OFFERED to pump for the baby the mother may well have been thrilled.

I too wonder if she was even told...

[bakugal]

talk to the mom first! that's a very generous offer. Baby definitely needs food!