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Old 09-17-2010, 07:38 AM   #81
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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Originally Posted by adriannemae View Post
Sorry if the chatty hen reference offended you but seriously i really don't think it's cp's place to be telling you this woman's business. I also have to wonder what kind of cp allows another parent to just come in, take care, and make decisions for a child that are not theirs

As far as you not being bothered, that's you! Don't you get that you fed her child your bodily fluids which could contain harmful diseases. I know you say your healthy and clean but there's still a chance and that chance i not yours to take behind another mothers back.
People assuming their healthy and clean is how most diseases are passed in the first place.

This is not about sharing breast milk (which for the record i have no problem with and at one point w ds2 had to seek donor milk myself), it's the fact you thought/think it's ok to parent another's child. You are a stranger and you would most defiantly not be ok w/ another stranger making very personal decisions for your child.

Honestly why did you not call the mother?
If you must know why I felt so obligated, it's that I go there every day to nurse my daughter. It was hard for me to nurse her and see that the other baby wasn't eating. There are only about 6 kids in this daycare, so it's not like I could just ignore her.

The DCP had told the mother that her baby wasn't eating for over a week. She was intending on telling the mother that she had given the baby some of my milk but got distracted talking about paperwork and forgot to tell her. It's not like she was trying not to tell her- basically the DCP doesn't see it as such a big deal that you ladies do, and that's why she forgot to tell her. She just wanted the baby to get something to eat. She knows me and that I have a healthy lifestyle and I'm sure that factored into her letting me bring milk.

Anyway, that is the whole story. I probably won't get any more information than that, so what is done is done and I will try to think more clearly if the same situation arises. The chances are slim, though, as this was a very unique situation.

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Old 09-17-2010, 07:48 AM   #82
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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She was intending on telling the mother that she had given the baby some of my milk but got distracted talking about paperwork and forgot to tell her...basically the DCP doesn't see it as such a big deal that you ladies do, and that's why she forgot to tell her.


And you are comfortable leaving your daughter under the care of this person?

Maybe she'll "forget" to tell you she's fed your daughter some formula, part of her sandwich, and some french fries.
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Old 09-17-2010, 07:52 AM   #83
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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You know had the OP just OFFERED to pump for the baby the mother may well have been thrilled.

I too wonder if she was even told...
Yes, this!

It makes a WORLD of difference.

As for the "flames" -- anyone who says they don't care about the mother's opinion and compares herself to Jesus needs some flames
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Old 09-17-2010, 08:04 AM   #84
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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And you are comfortable leaving your daughter under the care of this person?

Maybe she'll "forget" to tell you she's fed your daughter some formula, part of her sandwich, and some french fries.
This is really just horrific to me. I can not believe someone would "forget" to tell a mother this. She NEEDS to know that her baby was given someone elses milk. If this were a legitimate and safe daycare then it would be on her sheet at the end of the day. Heck, my friend's kids who go to daycare have it marked if they so much as get a cracker that day, how could this woman "forget" to tell the mom about something her child consumed? It seems pretty clear it was more than likely purposefully kept from her. And you say that the dcp told the mom a week before but in other post you also say the baby was only there 1 1/2 weeks. She was still transitioning. This blows my mind. I am so glad that this child is no longer at this center and I hope she i somewhere the mother can trust that the true well being of her child is being looked out for. I am all for donating milk, my oldest had donated milk and I have given others milk before but never without their knowledge.

I am just sickened by this whole thing. It makes me feel so fortunate that I don't have to bring my children to daycare knowing there are providers out there like this. Not saying all are like this, and I know most aren't but sometimes it takes 1.
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Old 09-17-2010, 09:00 AM   #85
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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The DCP had told the mother that her baby wasn't eating for over a week. She was intending on telling the mother that she had given the baby some of my milk but got distracted talking about paperwork and forgot to tell her. It's not like she was trying not to tell her- basically the DCP doesn't see it as such a big deal that you ladies do, and that's why she forgot to tell her. She just wanted the baby to get something to eat. She knows me and that I have a healthy lifestyle and I'm sure that factored into her letting me bring milk.
Good intentions or not, I can't imagine that was legal. "Forgetting" to tell a parent that a child ingested food that the parent did not leave is not an option IMO. Just because she doesn't see it as a big deal doesn't mean there aren't laws that state it is - and for a reason. I would be very hesistant about trusting someone with my child when they've gone behind another mother's back; who's to say that one day she won't do the same to you?
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Old 09-17-2010, 10:21 AM   #86
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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If you must know why I felt so obligated, it's that I go there every day to nurse my daughter. It was hard for me to nurse her and see that the other baby wasn't eating. There are only about 6 kids in this daycare, so it's not like I could just ignore her.

The DCP had told the mother that her baby wasn't eating for over a week. She was intending on telling the mother that she had given the baby some of my milk but got distracted talking about paperwork and forgot to tell her. It's not like she was trying not to tell her- basically the DCP doesn't see it as such a big deal that you ladies do, and that's why she forgot to tell her. She just wanted the baby to get something to eat. She knows me and that I have a healthy lifestyle and I'm sure that factored into her letting me bring milk.

Anyway, that is the whole story. I probably won't get any more information than that, so what is done is done and I will try to think more clearly if the same situation arises. The chances are slim, though, as this was a very unique situation.
I'd want to know what ELSE might not be a big deal to this DCP...
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Old 09-17-2010, 11:50 AM   #87
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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basically the DCP doesn't see it as such a big deal that you ladies do
And therein lies the problem. If she fed your child chicken mcnuggets and didn't tell you, that might upset you. Feeding my infant (and obviously others' babies here) someone else's - who the mother has never met and cannot make the decision first - breastmilk would/does upset that child's mother. That is the issue. If she was so blasť about feeding one baby something not sent or approved by it's mother, then what does it take to warrant telling a mom? Is a bite ok? How about spanking? falling down the steps? Getting into the chemicals under the bathroom sink? (NO I'm not likening someone else's milk to cleaners, I'm just saying - Where is the threshold for necessary to tell the parent?)
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Old 09-19-2010, 07:36 PM   #88
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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Do some of ya'lls babies around this age really go 10-12 hours without eating anything?
My 2nd DD started sleeping 13 hours straight at night at 12 weeks old. She was born 9 weeks early, and only weighed about 8-9lbs at the tme. She did eat every 90 minutes all day long to make up for it.

My youngest is the opposite. He's highly distractable, and since about 5 mos, he hardly eats anything all day. Instead he nurses all night long.
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Old 09-19-2010, 08:00 PM   #89
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

As a mom who has had two lo's with serious food allergies as infants, my head would have exploded if they had been fed anything other than food/milk I left for them.

In addition, this mom NEEDS to know what happened, because no matter how healthy you are, this is a bodily fluid.
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Old 09-20-2010, 08:09 PM   #90
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Long time lurker that is actually coming out of hiding to post on this slightly oldish thread...

1. I understand that people can have their heart in the right place, and STILL do the entirely wrong thing. This is a case in point.

2. For those of us with very small children (my second is about to turn two, and hasn't broken 20 lbs), I understand why you think they are small. I think a 20+ lb-er at 5 months looks frighteningly large!

3. I donated a large amount of milk. I have no problem with KNOWN and WANTED donations.

4. My husband said that if it were his child, if there were anything left of the 'donor' or daycare 'provider' after he were done, he would volunteer to represent the family on contingency. It's THAT good of a legal case. I agree.

So yeah. I'm still nursing the about to be 2 year old (who, btw, has significant allergies and would have been severely harmed by the OPs 'help) and clearly very pro caring for our children the best way we know how. The part you seem to forget is that this was NOT your child!
Oh, and I'm not a Christian, so quoting the bible is a fairly inefficient method to try to convince me of anything.

I do hope the DCP never does anything similar with another child, or allows your child to have something that you would be similarly horrified by.
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