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Old 09-07-2010, 11:19 AM   #1
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I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

DH and I have been at a standstill in our debate about whether to circ or not to circumcise this baby (if he is, in fact, a boy ). With DS, I was uninformed and I left it up to daddy to decide what to do with the "boy parts". At the time, our hospital, our (former) pediatrician, our families and everyone I talked to seemed to agree that circumcision was the way to go. I had done some research on it, but in the end I didn't push the issue and he was circumcised.

After doing more and more research on it, I have come to deeply regret it and I knew that if I had another son, I'd like to leave him intact. Unfortunately, now that DS is already cut, my DH wants to make sure they are "the same" . I received a call from our insurance company early on in my pregnancy, letting me know that they no longer cover circ because it is elective surgery, and we would have to pay out of pocket. Of course, this is a no-brainer for me! I do not want to pay OOP for a surgery I don't want my son to have and my DH is easily swayed by financial matters, so I thought it would seal the deal.

Initially, he still wanted to do it, but after I showed him that article that has been circulating on FB and DS about circs causing 117 neonate deaths per year in the US, he said maybe we should not do it . He still wants to talk about it, but his major argument is that he doesn't want to explain to the boys why their nether regions are not the same. I told him if he's seriously considering an elective surgery for our son just to avoid having a difficult conversation with our kids in a few years, he really needs to reconsider. I think I'm getting through to him! I also offered to be the one to broach the subject with the boys and just basically tell them the simple truth: we didn't know any better when DS1 was born, but we were more informed by the time DS2 was born and we made a different decision. I hope it is not a huge issue for them, though!

Thanks for letting me share, mamas! You are the only ones who understand

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Old 09-07-2010, 11:24 AM   #2
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

:l ostit:

It makes me soo happy to see another little boy be able to make his own choice!
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Old 09-07-2010, 11:29 AM   #3
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

YAY!!!! We circ. our first because I didn't know any better as well. But this time I told DH he has no say we are not doing it!
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Old 09-07-2010, 11:58 AM   #4
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

DH and I have been talking about talking about it, hehe, just haven't quite gotten there yet. I did see a thread where a lot of moms had boys circ'ed and not in the same house and it seemed like it didn't cause much problem. I think this was the thread, funny b/c it comes from Nov DDC and Sara you're in there too! lol http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/....php?t=1003565

I thought it was really interesting, we don't have a DS yet, but DH is so I'm pretty sure he thinks it's normal to be. FX that he's willing to listen, hehe.
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Old 09-07-2010, 12:25 PM   #5
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

We circ'ed our ds.. To this day i will never forget the look of pain on his face and how he screamed everytime i changed his diaper or when he peed. I left it up to my DH because he is Un-Circed and has had issues his whole life because of it.

Im glad this is a girl. BC then i dont have to go thru the heart breaking again


YAY for your DH though! Im so happy for you!
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:04 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by CokeLover View Post
YAY!!!! We circ. our first because I didn't know any better as well. But this time I told DH he has no say we are not doing it!
It's nice to see someone else in a similar position (one boy is circ'ed, the other will be intact).

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Originally Posted by Kealii View Post
DH and I have been talking about talking about it, hehe, just haven't quite gotten there yet. I did see a thread where a lot of moms had boys circ'ed and not in the same house and it seemed like it didn't cause much problem. I think this was the thread, funny b/c it comes from Nov DDC and Sara you're in there too! lol http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/....php?t=1003565

I thought it was really interesting, we don't have a DS yet, but DH is so I'm pretty sure he thinks it's normal to be. FX that he's willing to listen, hehe.
I remember that discussion. I also remember how relieved I was a few weeks later when we were told at our 20 week u/s that the baby was a girl. Actually, the one thing I was concerned about after finding out we had a sneaky boy at 28w, (other than my DH's feelings because he was really looking forward to having a little girl) was the circ issue. I hope DH and I can settle it once and for all, and that we can come to a mutual decision NOT to do this!
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:06 PM   #7
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

yay!!
Circ'ing isn't a big issue for us, mostly because DH isn't so we just went with that... but I understand how exciting it is to feel strongly about something and have your DH oppose it *ahemclothdiapersahem* and then have him come around and agree with you!
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:09 PM   #8
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

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Originally Posted by serendipity10410 View Post
DH and I have been at a standstill in our debate about whether to circ or not to circumcise this baby (if he is, in fact, a boy ). With DS, I was uninformed and I left it up to daddy to decide what to do with the "boy parts". At the time, our hospital, our (former) pediatrician, our families and everyone I talked to seemed to agree that circumcision was the way to go. I had done some research on it, but in the end I didn't push the issue and he was circumcised.

After doing more and more research on it, I have come to deeply regret it and I knew that if I had another son, I'd like to leave him intact. Unfortunately, now that DS is already cut, my DH wants to make sure they are "the same" . I received a call from our insurance company early on in my pregnancy, letting me know that they no longer cover circ because it is elective surgery, and we would have to pay out of pocket. Of course, this is a no-brainer for me! I do not want to pay OOP for a surgery I don't want my son to have and my DH is easily swayed by financial matters, so I thought it would seal the deal.

Initially, he still wanted to do it, but after I showed him that article that has been circulating on FB and DS about circs causing 117 neonate deaths per year in the US, he said maybe we should not do it . He still wants to talk about it, but his major argument is that he doesn't want to explain to the boys why their nether regions are not the same. I told him if he's seriously considering an elective surgery for our son just to avoid having a difficult conversation with our kids in a few years, he really needs to reconsider. I think I'm getting through to him! I also offered to be the one to broach the subject with the boys and just basically tell them the simple truth: we didn't know any better when DS1 was born, but we were more informed by the time DS2 was born and we made a different decision. I hope it is not a huge issue for them, though!

Thanks for letting me share, mamas! You are the only ones who understand
Great decision! I fully believed in leaving my son intact. He was born perfect and I saw no reason to mess with perfection. During my pg I had to convince DH and once I gave in some info on why we should leave him intact if he was a boy, he supported my decision to leave things alone.

You said exactly what needs to be said when your boys are older and "if" they ask why. I doubt they will give it much thought though. Boys don't really think that way. It's the dads that do. I have one brother that is circ'd and one that is intact. Neither one ever asked about it.

Not one of my 4 nephews are circ'd and it's becoming more the norm to leave boys intact. Especially in light of the fact that insurance and medicaid isn't paying for it anymore.
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:16 PM   #9
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yay!!
Circ'ing isn't a big issue for us, mostly because DH isn't so we just went with that... but I understand how exciting it is to feel strongly about something and have your DH oppose it *ahemclothdiapersahem* and then have him come around and agree with you!
cloth diapers were another battle that I won . He told me before DS was born that if I wanted to use cloth diapers, he would never change a diaper. After DS was born and I realized that I changed 90% of the diapers anyway, I bought my first CDs and never went back! Now, DH hates sposies so much, we are planning to CD right from the start. He keeps bringing up the idea of bringing cDs to the hospital because he doesn't want "those yucky chemicals and that gel-junk" near our baby's skin . I think we'll cd when we get home because I don't want to take the chance of losing my precious stash at the hossy

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Originally Posted by Mom2frick&frack View Post
Great decision! I fully believed in leaving my son intact. He was born perfect and I saw no reason to mess with perfection. During my pg I had to convince DH and once I gave in some info on why we should leave him intact if he was a boy, he supported my decision to leave things alone.

You said exactly what needs to be said when your boys are older and "if" they ask why. I doubt they will give it much thought though. Boys don't really think that way. It's the dads that do. I have one brother that is circ'd and one that is intact. Neither one ever asked about it.

Not one of my 4 nephews are circ'd and it's becoming more the norm to leave boys intact. Especially in light of the fact that insurance and medicaid isn't paying for it anymore.
thanks Kellie. I am so glad to hear about your brothers and nephews. I really don't think it's going to be a huge deal either. I already raise my son with honesty and conviction and when/if he asks me, I'll be honest and I believe that he will understand.

My DH actually said on the phone to me today that "X is going to HATE us when he figures out that we did that to him and not to his brother". I said, "oh, gee, that's a good reason to "DO THAT" to his brother too???" . He had nothing more to say after that
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Old 09-07-2010, 02:09 PM   #10
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

good foryou sara
i saw that article and i posted it on fb as well i think so many people do not even consider that even happening
the fact that it is also elective says something too
about them "being the same"
they are not the same and will be different in many ways
i bet it would be awhile before they even noticed the big difference your husband is scared of when/if that day ever happens you can explain it then
when you know better you do better
if we learn adn educate ourselves through parenthood should we not be better parents to our children or continue to be the same for fear that one child got treated better than the other
i think not
glad your honey is coming around i think if you showed him video footage fo actual surgery he would have a flat out "no" moment then
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