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Old 09-07-2010, 02:15 PM   #11
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

Not in your DDC but I was given this link today. A really great watch
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Old 09-07-2010, 03:47 PM   #12
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

We have been talking about it a lot this week too. At first DH was resistant about talking about it, he didn't think there was much to consider. Then I have had a few situations in nursing that in the past that I was circ no matter what. Then I started educating myself and told DH that we needed to talk about it just in case NB was a boy. I didn't want to make the decision emotionally at the hospital. Well he started reading and we started talking and DH decided no circ!!! I couldn't believe it. He says he will get upset and will tell whoever tries to judge us otherwise. He went from not caring at all to being anti circ advocate. I am so glad we have made this decision now and have informed ourselves about it rather than after baby is born.
Then today we were talking again and DH said "I wish I could get mine back." He even said he was disappointed in his parent's decision when he was born.
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Old 09-07-2010, 09:13 PM   #13
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

DH really didn't give me any hassle about not-circing, even though he is, he listened as i explained the reasons not to, and said okay, lets not. Our insurance does cover it (i wished it didn't, so i could use that as the main reason!) The other night he told me that he figured if boys still came out that way, and that if evolution hadn't changed the way they were coming out, there is no point in removing it
Our biggest problem will be with family and misinformation (we have heard already about how it will get infected, need more cleaning, etc...)
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Old 09-07-2010, 10:13 PM   #14
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

you and i are in the exact same boat. i was torn, did a little research but still didnt feel confident to know what was right. and did the whole leave it to the one with the same parts. now im much more confident. and i had to live through ds having it done and learning the full force of regret.
dh said no to leaving ds intact, probably for the same reasons i did at first, we just didnt now any different. he is circed, both my brothers are. and (ahem) the ones i have dealt with before were.
i said something to my husband again this time around and he gave some flip answer and we didnt talk about it for a while and a few months later i mentioned it and he casually said"oh we dont have to do that" i just stared at him.. seriously? im assuming he has looked into it online himself.
i still feel uncertain about how to handle uncirced baby bits, i know there are dos and donts. but id rather fumble along than to feel that regret again.
congrats on it getting settled
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Old 09-08-2010, 03:13 AM   #15
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

you dont do anything to them
just wash like reg.
when people try to retract or pull back the skin that is when problems arise and infections can occur
the skin will easily be able to be pulled back in a few years you will notice because your child will most likely do it and thats when you will know its ok
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Old 09-08-2010, 07:34 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by mason825 View Post
DH really didn't give me any hassle about not-circing, even though he is, he listened as i explained the reasons not to, and said okay, lets not. Our insurance does cover it (i wished it didn't, so i could use that as the main reason!) The other night he told me that he figured if boys still came out that way, and that if evolution hadn't changed the way they were coming out, there is no point in removing it
Our biggest problem will be with family and misinformation (we have heard already about how it will get infected, need more cleaning, etc...)
I'm so glad you and DH were in agreement from the start . We will have the same issues coming from our family, INCLUDING my own mother, who is an RN . I talked to her briefly yesterday and she mentioned a lot of those things, also said that Xander and his brother should be "the same" AND that daddy should decide because I'm not a man, so I could not possibly understand! . I just hope she doesn't say this crap around my DH. I'm so close to having him 100% convinced!

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Originally Posted by chanee View Post
you and i are in the exact same boat. i was torn, did a little research but still didnt feel confident to know what was right. and did the whole leave it to the one with the same parts. now im much more confident. and i had to live through ds having it done and learning the full force of regret.
dh said no to leaving ds intact, probably for the same reasons i did at first, we just didnt now any different. he is circed, both my brothers are. and (ahem) the ones i have dealt with before were.
i said something to my husband again this time around and he gave some flip answer and we didnt talk about it for a while and a few months later i mentioned it and he casually said"oh we dont have to do that" i just stared at him.. seriously? im assuming he has looked into it online himself.
i still feel uncertain about how to handle uncirced baby bits, i know there are dos and donts. but id rather fumble along than to feel that regret again.
congrats on it getting settled
mama! All the things you have worried or thought about, I'm sure I've been there too! My brother and my family and every "one" I've ever seen has been circed too. It will be a learning experience for both of us but a small price to pay to not have this regret again. Now I know better, so I want to do better!
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Old 09-08-2010, 08:48 AM   #17
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

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Originally Posted by chanee View Post
i still feel uncertain about how to handle uncirced baby bits, i know there are dos and donts. but id rather fumble along than to feel that regret again.
congrats on it getting settled
Quote:
Originally Posted by mason825 View Post
DH really didn't give me any hassle about not-circing, even though he is, he listened as i explained the reasons not to, and said okay, lets not. Our insurance does cover it (i wished it didn't, so i could use that as the main reason!) The other night he told me that he figured if boys still came out that way, and that if evolution hadn't changed the way they were coming out, there is no point in removing it
Our biggest problem will be with family and misinformation (we have heard already about how it will get infected, need more cleaning, etc...)
Hi ladies! Not in your DDC, but noticed your posts while browsing. Congrats on your baby boys and on leaving them intact!

As the mom of a happy healthy intact boy, I just wanted to pop in and encourage you. My MIL gave me the "he'll get infections and you should be doing more cleaning" speech too.

Now that my DS is 1 1/2 and just fine, I think that she has most likely realized that intact boys don't need any special care, nor are they more prone to infection.

As a PP said, you don't do anything for care! How easy is that? Easy peasy!

I can relate to the fears, though, because while I knew right away that I didn't want to circ, the intact penis intimidated me a bit. But now that I have a son, I see how easy an intact penis is to care for and keep clean.

The main thing is leave it alone and make sure that everybody else does. The main cause of boys "needing" circs later in life is usually people trying to clean it, ironically.

You also want to make sure that your doctor understands that the foreskin is not to be retracted.

Here is a fantastic article that really helped me as far as learning what was normal in intact boys.

http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/basic...act-child.html

Good luck and congrats again, mamas!
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Old 09-08-2010, 02:08 PM   #18
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

I'm in the same boat! Dh is circed and so is ds. I keep telling dh if this baby is a boy (we are team green) we are not having him circed and he keeps telling me that he doesn't want them to be different. it is so frusturating because I don't want them to be different either but I can't figure out a way to put the skin back on ds so it looks like they are going to be different!!

I have a lot of guilt in having ds circed and really regret it. I don't want to do it again. But I keep putting off the "big talk" were we sit down and really has it out. I don't really know how strong dh feels about having him circed. I think if I give him lots of proof as to why it's a bad idea he will agree with me and not have him cired. he is swayed easy!
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:30 PM   #19
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Re: I think I've gotten through to DH!!!! :)

Dh is circ'd, so i figured he would give me a hassle, but he didnt, so i'm happy. I haven't ever been around an uncirc'd infant, so i am nervous about it, but everyone has told me to just leave it alone, so that's what i'll do.
He won't get poop under the foreskin, will he? I ask, because DD used to get poop EVERYWHERE!
I tend not to take advice anymore without a mountain of salt-we have always gotten "the look" and comments from family and friends for our decision to use a midwife, do a water birth, delay vaxing, use cloth, the list goes on...so i expect no less than comments about this too. Water off the duck, i think is the expression
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Old 09-08-2010, 05:07 PM   #20
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I'm in the same boat! Dh is circed and so is ds. I keep telling dh if this baby is a boy (we are team green) we are not having him circed and he keeps telling me that he doesn't want them to be different. it is so frusturating because I don't want them to be different either but I can't figure out a way to put the skin back on ds so it looks like they are going to be different!!

I have a lot of guilt in having ds circed and really regret it. I don't want to do it again. But I keep putting off the "big talk" were we sit down and really has it out. I don't really know how strong dh feels about having him circed. I think if I give him lots of proof as to why it's a bad idea he will agree with me and not have him cired. he is swayed easy!
I was dreading having this discussion with my DH too. That's why I "primed" him with the article I emailed to him about how many deaths are caused by circ every year. He was pretty easy to talk to after reading that, thankfully, and it was not as bad of a conversation as I thought it would be! I still have some feelings of concern over the boys being "different" but I know I just can't do this to another perfect little boy! I wish I could put the skin back on my DS too
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