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Old 09-07-2010, 12:39 PM   #21
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

I'm completely lost, because this thread doesn't even make sense.

SOoooo... with absolutely no idea what is going on, I'll say I think if you are at your inlaw's house, and you know your father in law is uncomfortable, you should either ask, or excuse yourself.

I always just preferred to go in the next room and sit in a comfey chair, or somewhere nice and quiet. That was for ME though, I actually don't think I ever gave other people's feelings any thought. I might have if I wasn't already planning to go in the next room anyway.

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Old 09-07-2010, 12:46 PM   #22
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

I think I am missing something here and only catching the end of the information and not the whole.

I nurse where ever when ever. But I use a cover to get everything set up and to cover the top of my breast Ds usually won't have a cover over his head for long he's a feisty eater. But I am covered so it basically looks as if I am just holding ds. I once dated a guy that was totally and completely grossed out by breast feeding and said it was unnatural I laughed at him over the unnatural bit. Everyone who knows me knows that I breastfeed and if they felt that someone would feel uncomfortable then I would expect them to say something before hand because they know how I am. This being said I am not going to a strangers house or someone with whom is unfamiliar with me. I just explained to a friends of my mom's grandson who is almost 8 what breast feeding is and he was very interested asking me all sorts of questions.

So what I gather is a friend of the op was upset with her breastfeeding around her so but has breastfed with her. I personally think the friend should have brought up the comfort thing before the OP went over there. Was the guy actually uncomfortable or was it the friend who is insecure about herself? People have a tendency to open their mouths often without thought and say things that cause havoc. The friend is aware that you breast feed and that your child needs to eat so if the situation changes she needs to be the one to speak up because it is a common thing for you to breast feed around her.
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Old 09-07-2010, 12:54 PM   #23
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

*i read the other thread linked*

I would never ever ever ask someone if I could feed my baby. I Don't care who it is, I don't care who all is present, I don't care where I am, and I ESPECIALLY do not care who I offend by FEEDING MY BABY.

Sorry (well, not really. lol) but I am so unbelievably sick of people being so petty when it comes to breastfeeding. I will never EVER agree that it is in the LEAST bit offensive, because it isn't and those who think it is have issues that go beyond a mother feeding her baby. There is absolutely no excuse other than they need to grow up and find other things to dwell on.
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:10 PM   #24
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

I have never asked permission to feed my baby when I am out, but I usually prefer to do it alone, so I will ask if there is a room I can go nurse in (if I am at someone's house).

I don't try to show anything, but there have been times when DD or DS has broke away and left me hanging, so I prefer to be away from prying eyes.

If I am out and there is no where "private" for me to nurse, I will use a cover, but only cover my shoulder/top of breast (and not my LO's face).
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:11 PM   #25
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

Wow, that's weird! OP here, I did not cross post, but noticed that my OP and a few other posts went Missing In Action, and that another thread appeared under breastfeeding support. Hope I didn't violate the User Agreement somehow .
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:15 PM   #26
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

If this is still follow-able 'll also add that I am pretty sure that I breastfed around her ex husband when our babies were both tiny, even in family restaurants, at the zoo, etc. And she never said a word. Hell, she was the same person who took a picture of me nursing my son and hers simultaneously (cross nursing) and made a blog banner for me out of the picture! She is EXTREMELY pro-breastfeeding, which is why I am so confused! Her new boyfriend comes from a more... patriarchal culture though. Still, I just feel weird, and also a bit sad.
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:22 PM   #27
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

.

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Old 09-07-2010, 01:25 PM   #28
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

I am beyond confused.
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:27 PM   #29
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

OK, so I found the other thread. You did nothing wrong. She's just feeling a little insecure about this new guy, and she got uncomfortable. It's possible she doesn't completely trust this guy, but wants to.... however she doesn't want him looking at your breasts. Her reaction is a natural feeling, and I think we all have those times. I've had moments where a friend did NOTHING, yet I felt jealous because I felt like my husband was looking at her in a way he shouldn't. It's not her fault... I don't even know if I imagined it, but, I still felt jealous.

Everybody keeps saying it's not sexual. But, ask any man, (OK, maybe not ANY.. but several) and they will admit, they get either uncomfortable, or a little turned on when they see a woman breast feeding. My ex was always extremely turned on by my breast feeding. (that's not why he's my ex) My husband is uncomfortable by breast feeding. (maybe it turns him on, he says it doesn't)

Then, there's a WHOLE section at the mega sex store devoted to breast feeding videos. I am NOT suggesting this poor guy (who isn't even here to defend himself) would ever be interested in that.... but, who knows where your friend's insecurity comes from.

Just don't breast feed right in front of him anymore. Give her a chance to get to know him without feeling threatened. It's not a big deal to ask him to leave the room, or leave the room yourself. She's your friend, you'd probably do nearly anything for her. Right?

Separate the issues here. She's not anti breast feeding, she's anti letting him look at someone else's breasts.
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Old 09-07-2010, 01:30 PM   #30
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Re: Should you ever ask for permission to breastfeed?

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Peanut* View Post
Wow, just wow. I have to say I am really shocked by some of the responses - they sound almost mean. Maybe it is a cultural thing, because I find it very rude to not have any consideration for those around you (and consideration means respecting their feelings, even when they don't have the same views as you). No one said not to feed your kid, but geez - "grow up" and "i don't care" who is around or how they feel. Wow.

I also think if someone wants to BF at my house, I really would do what I could to make them comfortable and accommodate them. But yeah, if someone came into MY house and thought that they could do whatever they want without regard to EVERYONE in my house (even those just visiting)...

I mean what if I said something like, "Well, I don't care about her feelings - this is MY house and she can feed her kid outside or something." Y'all would be losing your minds if I said that! I would never show anyone respect who couldn't show me respect.
Have you read the OP? Not trying to :stir: (you have a right to your opinion just like we all do ); but your reaction to the responses doesn't sound like you have

And apparently this thread got "wonky" somewhere along the way, I posted a link to the thread that has the OP in it
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