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Old 09-07-2010, 10:51 PM   #1
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a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight

hi everyone. im seriously confused about what day is what. im having a hard time. i think i have a stress fracture in my foot. im having to wrap it and hobble along and i cant get anything done cause it hurts. not that i could get much done at a time anyway. ivve got no stamina or focus right now. im so frustrated and yuck. ive gotten behind in my school work.
my husband has suddenly gone from being the most awesome guy i know to pulling a sit-com dad type card. i seriously cant study or do my homework with dinner cooking and a two year old crawling on me, throwing my book and notes down while he is watching 6 episodes of arrested development in a row on netflix. and no i wont click watch next episode while im over there!im only over there cause im bringing the toddler back in here for the billionth time. he has more classes than i do, and his are way more difficult and what not. and he works AND he goes and does his wrestling stuff. but i cant stay up after everyone goes to bed and do my work like he does. im just too tired. and now i have a day to get a boat ton of work done to turn in on thurs. while dealing with the 2 yr old and the 11 yr old that seems to be having full on malfunctions lately. and im the only one cleaning anything up. i never ever, ever want to get on here and dish and make my husband sound like a moron. or selfish jerk or .. or.. whatever. but seriously at this moment im so annoyed and frustrated and scared of what we are doing that i just cant help but to type everything as im thinking it.
i go on thursday morning to see my dr . itll be the beginning of going every two weeks. and im kinda panicking quietly in my head. i have nine more weeks till i have this baby and i really want to freak out. i really started thinking this morning about "what am i doing, i totally let this happen on purpose, what was i thinking, im not doing the best job with this household as it is. and the kids im already handling. ill never really finish school cause i cant take a full class load and it doesnt matter anyway,cause i turn 33 this thursday and i dont know what my goal is for a grown up job that will provide for my children. why in the world would i think it was a good idea to get all pregnant and have another baby.cause i was perfectly content with garvan, cause hes more awesome than anything and how can i like anyone else as much as i like him.and i dont even get to spend time with him the way i want. what am i doing!!?!?"
blarga, i cant even post in the stinking daily chats enough to feel like im actually connecting.
i think im just letting myself feel overwhelmed,,or over something..
and there was no real point in me typing this or posting it. i just keep thinking, and i guess i thought if i put it out there for someone else to hear even for a moment, it would stop running in a loop through my head.
but its midnight and i know im gonna wake up in a few hours and see this and its gonna look to me like the equivalent of drunk dialing in the middle of the night.
so i hope you guys dont mind, and i hope yall have a great day and if your up in the middle of the night reading this... well, i sorry you couldnt sleep either

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Old 09-07-2010, 11:06 PM   #2
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Re: a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight

I read it all, and I really hope that things look up. Have you been to the dr. for your foot? Do you have a friend or relative who could help you with Garvan for a bit tomorrow while you try to catch up on your homework?

Oh, and don't forget to take your vitamins, it might help with being able to focus....well that and getting some rest....
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Old 09-08-2010, 06:21 AM   #3
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Re: a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight



Vent away mama! We're here for you! I'm going through kind of the same thing right now so I know what you are dealing with. No advice for you though since I don't even know what to do about my own life right now. All I can offer you is support, a shoulder and an ear even if it's virtual.
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Old 09-08-2010, 06:53 AM   #4
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Re: a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight

Sounds like alot on your plate. I do kind of know what you're talking about when you say, "I let this happen on purpose." Because I did too and now I'm wondering WHY!!!

All I can say is one day at a time and definitely ask a friend for some help....one day you'll pay them back.
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Old 09-08-2010, 06:54 AM   #5
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Re: a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight

double post
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Old 09-08-2010, 07:28 AM   #6
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Re: a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight

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Old 09-08-2010, 07:34 AM   #7
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Re: a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight

hang inthere.....nothing is more precious than your kids and hubby, and believe me....when this next one arrives, you'll wonder why in the world you thought you couldn't love another as your do the one you already have!!
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Old 09-08-2010, 07:38 AM   #8
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Re: a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight

no need to feel bad about venting, we've all been there at one point or another!!! Hope you find peace soon!
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Old 09-08-2010, 07:43 AM   #9
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Re: a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight

Hang in there momma. I know how overwhelming it can be, I have a broken foot (for 5 weeks now) and am taking 3 classes right now, add on top of that trying to get a household in order and tend to the two children... all while being pregnant. I hope it gets better for you, just try to relax and maybe you could get someone to come and help you so you can get stuff done for a few hours.
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Old 09-08-2010, 07:52 AM   #10
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Re: a sorta vent.. pregnant brain at midnight

mama! I hope your DH figures out that he needs to help more! Mine gets like that sometimes, and it's hard to ask without giving attitude but I find that if I kindly ask him to help with something specific ("can you fold the laundry/can you cook dinner/can you load the dishwasher?) he will do it in a heartbeat. If I DON'T ask him to do anything, though, you can bet he'll be watching hours upon hours of TV . I sometimes believe that men are programmed to only respond to direct orders . Good luck and get that schoolwork done, mama! It's important!
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