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Old 09-08-2010, 12:42 PM   #91
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

At my church, they have a special room designated to breastfeeding mothers to nurse while being able to listen to the service, it is called the 'mother's lounge' and I quite enjoy being able to nurse in private/with other mothers and not worry about other people staring at me - I am very conservative, though.

And about the man who was turned on by that... sounds like he'd be turned on by the slightest cleavage or something, so should women have to wear turtle necks, too?

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Old 09-08-2010, 12:43 PM   #92
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Originally Posted by *Peanut* View Post
Bad choice of word - 'sucking it up'. You can see I am a bit of a rebel. Now you can see why I don't go anymore either! There are A LOT of things I don't agree with in church, and I am inflexible on some things. So, I just don't go. Because I do know this - if you go against the church, you will not win! That I do know, so I don't even try. I guess that is why I bend with the wind while I am in church.
lol not at all! if your a rebel I wonder what that makes me! lol
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:43 PM   #93
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

In response to some of the comparisons being made, I'm going to say it again.

Breasts are sexual.

Worldwide, in every nation, tribe, and language.

Ask your husbands/SO's. If they're honest, they'll tell you the same thing.

And, yes, the same should apply to low cut/ too tight shirts, too.

That's where the difference lies for me between say this situation and something like a foot fet*** or pedophile. God made women's breasts as both sexual and functional, and made men to find them sexual. I don't see why men should be expected to be able to turn off part of their brains just because a woman is breastfeeding.


ETA: Reading what I wrote over, I don't want it to sound like the man is doing nothing wrong. Lust is a sin, and, yes it sounds like he has some issues to deal with. He needs to choose to look away from something that might cause him to stumble. But as his sister in Christ, I would just want to make sure that I wasn't doing anything that might make it harder for him to deal with his weaknesses.
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:45 PM   #94
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

.

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Old 09-08-2010, 12:46 PM   #95
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

It's your right to breastfeed your baby while sitting there. Plain and simple.

That being said, you have to decide what is important to you. You and your DH are helping found a new Church. That is an amazing and difficult undertaking in any circumstances. You need to figure out what is and isn't worth fighting for in your new faith community. Is your place of worship the place you want to take a stand on breastfeeding? If it is, then you need to stand up for what you believe. As long as you are prepared for the likelihood that there will be some controversy in your new community if you make that choice.

I think that there are times as mothers that we get our mama bear up when it may not need to be. We have the right and responsibility to feed our children to the best of our ability. However, doing so does not have to be a political statement. It is possible to be accomodating to the feelings of others (whether or not we think their feelins are valid) while still caring for our children and breastfeeding our babies.
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:47 PM   #96
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Seriously! I mean you are doing NOTHING wrong. If this man can't keep his own thoughts in check, then that is his issue. He should take himself out of the situation by sitting somewhere else or, you know, just not staring at you. You are not responsible for someone else's dirty mind and lack of self-control. Not trying to be harsh, but I find this kind of thing appalling. I can't stand women being blamed all the time for men not being able to keep their minds out of the gutter.


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Maybe the man who was turned on by you nursing your son should "skype the church service" from another room!
and

this thread has been an interesting read. i'm honestly a bit shocked by the comments that you should accede to your pastor and this pervy guy's wishes, rather than them helping him through his own issues.

church is supposed to be an inclusive celebration. way for everyone to put a damper on that.
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:50 PM   #97
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

Eta: I'm so sick of people wanting mothers to bottle feed or "just feed before or after" because someone might be uncomfortable. The breast is not about milk alone, it is also about comfort. God designed the human breast to comfort the human baby, feed the human baby, and by frequent nursing, the woman is less likely to suffer from estrogen-related diseases (lactational ammennorhea is supposed to be a part of a woman's life and has a role in health and the spacing of babies). If someone has a problem with Gods plan for womens bodies then they should take it up with God and not blame the woman for an impure thought.

It isn't your problem, it is the guys problem. There is no Reason he can't look away or use the impure thought to provide him with a prayer opportunity. If he has trouble being around nursing women he need to avoid billboards, malls, and all public places in general. No more walking near mannequins, beaches or sidewalks either...women show more breast in those places than nursing mothers at church. Seriously, you should not be banished to seeing church via Skype because some guy needs coinseling over breast issues. You're using your breasts appropriately, if he can't understand breasts appropriately then he really, really should be in counseling. Really, the Taliban banned women eating noisy shoes because htose could create impure thoughts in men. How far are we going to allow that in America?

The fact that the bf support group was brought up in the same conversation is beyond crazy. Are all female congregation members going to view church b
Y Skype because they have breasts or may breastfeed? What if one of them has a bra strap come loose and she has to pull it up? That may cause impure thoughts too, in some men. That male congregant needs education and possibly counseling on the issue. You should not hide because he has issues.

My background is in ministry, by the way, and I have my mdiv.
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:51 PM   #98
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

Wow, I would be so upset.

I would continue nursing, at church or not!
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:54 PM   #99
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

Quote:
Originally Posted by z2akids View Post
It's your right to breastfeed your baby while sitting there. Plain and simple.

That being said, you have to decide what is important to you. You and your DH are helping found a new Church. That is an amazing and difficult undertaking in any circumstances. You need to figure out what is and isn't worth fighting for in your new faith community. Is your place of worship the place you want to take a stand on breastfeeding? If it is, then you need to stand up for what you believe. As long as you are prepared for the likelihood that there will be some controversy in your new community if you make that choice.

I think that there are times as mothers that we get our mama bear up when it may not need to be. We have the right and responsibility to feed our children to the best of our ability. However, doing so does not have to be a political statement. It is possible to be accomodating to the feelings of others (whether or not we think their feelins are valid) while still caring for our children and breastfeeding our babies.
Well said!
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Old 09-08-2010, 12:54 PM   #100
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Last edited by *Peanut*; 09-08-2010 at 10:50 PM.
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