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Old 09-08-2010, 01:38 PM   #121
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Originally Posted by Magpiedpiper View Post
It sounds like you are already being as discreet as possible, and while I don't think you should "flaunt" NIP as a response, I don't think you should have to hide either.

Your child is a member of the church as well, just as much as this other man. I know not everyone agrees with that, but it is my personal opinion. I think it is crucial for children to be treated as a part of church, and not inconveniences. Successful spiritual development in a child is due in large part to community, and being welcomed and accepted in that community of believers. Perhaps your pastor needs a reminder that this is not just you as a member against him as a member, but your child is one as well.

If a mother is more comfortable and she and her child will benefit from the solace of a nursing mothers room, she should certainly make use of it. Perhaps she would be too preoccupied with keeping her little one quiet or from distracting others, and would therefore be able to absorb more in a tucked away room should she so choose.

But women and children should not be forced into that segregation simply because the child has physical needs that must be met in addition to his spiritual ones.

Hmm, let me find an excerpt from an author who says it better than I can. Ivy Beckwith -



Living in faith community is not always easy, but I think it is truly the most enriching when people who are different come together to journey together on the same path - and that group included "different" people like children and nursing mothers.

I don't think the answer is to sequester you and any other nursing moms in a room away from the rest of the church in an attempt to ignore the issue at hand.

What keeps the man from having lustful thoughts about what you are doing in your glaring absence since he knows what you are doing simply because you are not in the sanctuary? Should the women begin wearing loose, sack dresses so not even a hint of the curvature of one's breast can be seen? Veils over their faces?

If a man is handsome, and causes a woman to think lustful thoughts about how great his butt looks in those pants, should he be required to go about church in a wheelchair so as not to cause the woman to stumble as she watches his glorious backside walk by?

Or maybe some personal accountability needs to be in place as well. It is certainly my place to help my brothers and sisters in their walk. It is also my place to help them be accountable for THEIR sins, in a firm and loving way. Hiding away and pretending that a member isn't lusting inappropriately does not fix that member's issues. It is not as if the OP is whipping out a bare boob, walking around with it hanging out, and telling the man "OMG stop lusting!" She is already being discreet and mindful of others in her actions.
well said

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Old 09-08-2010, 01:41 PM   #122
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Yes, guys who get turned on by boobies must have deep, deep issues....
Nope. Guys who get turned on by the sight of a baby eating have deep, deep issues.
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:46 PM   #123
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Nope. Guys who get turned on by the sight of a baby eating have deep, deep issues.
I didn't read all the comments - and I'm not a religious person but I think the problem is with the male in this situation - not the mom feeding her baby.

If this guy came to your pastor and said that he was turned on by children (extreme - I know) would your pastor ask him to leave or ask the kids to leave?

Like someone else said - Jesus was breastfed.
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:46 PM   #124
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Yes, guys who get turned on by boobies must have deep, deep issues....
Adults, including men, have the capability of compartmentalizing. Surely an adult male can separate breastfeeding breasts from breasts displayed in a sexual context. If he cannot, then yes he does have deep, deep issues. I mean was this guy excused from anatomy class in high school because the image of a naked anatomical model was too erotic for him? As adults we are capable of separating and putting things in context. The OP is being discreet and using her breasts discreetly to do what they were intended for. If the man cannot handle that or if he is unable to separate the two, then I seriously have to wonder how he functions in life.
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:48 PM   #125
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

.

Last edited by *Peanut*; 09-08-2010 at 10:49 PM.
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:48 PM   #126
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Adults, including men, have the capability of compartmentalizing. Surely an adult male can separate breastfeeding breasts from breasts displayed in a sexual context. If he cannot, then yes he does have deep, deep issues. I mean was this guy excused from anatomy class in high school because the image of a naked anatomical model was too erotic for him? As adults we are capable of separating and putting things in context. The OP is being discreet and using her breasts discreetly to do what they were intended for. If the man cannot handle that or if he is unable to separate the two, then I seriously have to wonder how he functions in life.
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:50 PM   #127
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

dp
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:50 PM   #128
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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but some men may not.
And its these men that have the issues. Not the mama who is feeding her baby in church.
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:51 PM   #129
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Adults, including men, have the capability of compartmentalizing. Surely an adult male can separate breastfeeding breasts from breasts displayed in a sexual context. If he cannot, then yes he does have deep, deep issues. I mean was this guy excused from anatomy class in high school because the image of a naked anatomical model was too erotic for him? As adults we are capable of separating and putting things in context. The OP is being discreet and using her breasts discreetly to do what they were intended for. If the man cannot handle that or if he is unable to separate the two, then I seriously have to wonder how he functions in life.
Exactly!

Men are not animals. Just because TV shows tell us they are all stupid and incapable of thinking for themselves doesn't mean that it is true.

My husband likes my boobs. That doesn't mean that as soon as he is out of the house he just can't help getting turned on by every single female he sees. Poor men, they just can't help themselves. :eyeroll:
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Old 09-08-2010, 01:51 PM   #130
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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I'm not defending him. Read through the posts... pp keep saying how disgusting and crazy it is that he could be turned on by this. I'm just saying that many men get turned on by bobbies, no matter what the boobies are doing. You may be able to separate the function and sexual roles of the breasts, but some men may not. Why does that make someone a weird, "freak of nature"? I'm not saying he is right. I'm just saying not everyone can 'turn off' their attraction to breasts as soon as a baby gets on it.

ETA: We really don't know what turns this guy on. The first post just says that he got excited by seeing her nurse without a cover. Unless we read his email or talk to him, we really don't know whether it was just nursing or if it was the idea of her boobies in the open.
but again, how is this the mom's problem? because by forcing her to be ostracized from the parish, that's what it has become.

and clearly - if it was a big enough issue to bring it to the pastor - it is an ISSUE. even he thinks so. i'm not sure why you disagree
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