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Old 09-08-2010, 08:36 PM   #281
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

Ugh, mama I'm so sorry. I've been there, done that. It's a horrible horrible feeling to be so brutally attacked by so-called Christians.

I (and another mama on DS actually) was called before the counsel (with our husbands) and basically called every name in the book, the pastor even compared us to prostitutes, said we were PERSONALLY causing people to leave the church, we were causing our x-tian brother & sisters to stumble, we were damaging the churches reputation within the town and several other things. This was over me nursing in the church (wearing a nursing shirt) ONE time and my myspace. At the time this happened my oldest was nearly 2 and just didn't happen to nurse frequently. The only 'nursing room' was barged into every 10 minutes as people went to the bathroom. Seriously. *sigh*

Feel free to PM me if you wanna talk, I know how it feels.

Anyway, I opted to leave the church (in fact I stormed out of this meeting in tears and haven't been back...I won't even speak to the pastors now, they've tried to speak to me on a couple occasions and I walk away)...and I'd been attending that church since I was 5 years old...my husband was a founder when he was just a young child as well. We opted to leave. Obviously, you're not wanting to do that so, personally I'd continue as you are, you're discreet...going to a private room is a major hardship so I'd just continue on. This dude was a visitor, there is a high chance he won't return. If your pastor persists in pestering you about it decline her request to invite your nursing mama friends because this church isn't baby & mama friendly

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Old 09-08-2010, 09:02 PM   #282
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

Oh, and my husband will occasionally make dumb comments if the baby is doing that 'grunt manic baby bird' thing and say "Yeah, buddy, I get pretty excited when I see Mama's boobs too" but he's JOKING and he's sat next to friends of mine who were nursing and didn't bat an eye because they're NURSING.

Breasts in the process of feeding a baby...1000% unsexy (except perhaps on moi). Breasts in the process of a titty show...well that's a horse of another color. Men are human beings with functioning brains. They're not sex driven maniacs (for the most part) who are unable to think with the head that rests their on their shoulders in the presence of the idea of a visible breast on a non-blood related woman under the age of 50. Ei yi yi yi yi
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:04 PM   #283
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

I think I'm about to type one of the longest reply threads I've ever seen!! Hee hee....It's 11:39--here I go!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mermother View Post
To the OP. I've been there and it's no fun. Is it an option for you to have a meeting with your pastor?

When I was asked not to BF in church, DH and I met the pastor to work things out. It turned out that one of the ushers saw me BF and was worried I would offend someone. I explained that a cover was not a viable option for us. I'm legally allowed to BF in public places. BF is used throughout the bible. I was a very discreet nurser, I wasn't drawing attention to myself. I even sat towards the back of the sanctuary.

In the end our "agreement" was that I wouldn't dance topless across the altar.
We will definitely be "meeting" with her, either on the phone or in person. I am the nursery worker this Sunday, so we don't have to have a solution until the 19th.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdhutier View Post
I think it is BALONEY and there IS NO MAN AT ALL. I am Catholic and have had no issues ever with bf in church ,all the priests have been great and very supportive.Most of them came from big families and have seen their moms nurse,so it's not an issue. But I have know several other pastors (male and female) and I don't think for a second if they got an email saying someone was struggling with something that is a normal part of life they would handle it this way. This man would need coping skills because this won't be the last time he has to deal with this even if you never go back. It just dosen't add up I think she chose to say that there was a problem like this ,so you would feel ashamed and agree so as not to cause struggle for your fellow parishioner. Also why would she be encouraging you to invite others who would cause further struggle for him? BOGUS!!
Fortunately, we have a pretty close relationship with our pastor & she is an honest person. To a fault sometimes (maybe even in this situation!)...I do not believe she would lie, or make something up. She is a former breastfeeding mom too. She pumped at church MANY times when we were meeting in our old building. I've used her office at our old building to pump & nurse. She is very supportive of NIP, BFing, and understanding of my "feminist, crunchy, NIP advocate" viewpoints....so this is a true shock for DH & I.

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Originally Posted by whitneywalters View Post
BTDT.....

I was basically kicked out of my old church because of this issue mama. My advice to you is either stand your ground or move on to another church. I left the church because after the "meeting" with the pastor and council I was left feeling totally violated and could not trust the pastor at all.

Not only was I told that I was causing my fellow christian to stumble but I was also compared to a prostitute and told I was setting a bad example for the teenagers.

((hugs )) to you and feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. I know how you feel right now and it is a horrible feeling.
I might just take you up on that Mama. DH & I would hate for this to drive us out of the church we've helped build...but we also don't want to go to a church where we're going to be uncomfortable.

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Originally Posted by birdie View Post
It may be the male's problem but coming from a Bible's perspective. It says to not do things that will cause your brother to stumble. I am a founder of our church and a leader I never nurse without a cover its rude and why would you want someone to see your boobs. I dont mind if its just women but when other men are there I feel like I am disrespecting my husband because we are married and he should be the only man to see me like that, minus men in the medical field like my OB. Anyway I am not trying to be rude or judgmental in anyway so please dont take it like that. I am sure its frustrating but you have to think about how it makes others around you feel and if it involves someone not wanting to come to church or embarrassed to be there then I would definitely re-consider. Good luck!
I do not think NIP is rude. I think staring at a woman NIP is rude. Nobody can see my breasts when I am feeding my son. I keep myself covered.

Quote:
Originally Posted by myall4him2 View Post
Well, honestly, as a church founder, you wouldn't want to do anything that would cause any male to stumble, would you? Men are men and I haven't met a man not attracted to boobs.

I understand the hole argument of putting a blanket over his head instead of your childs, it's a free world, yadda yadda, I get it. However, as a founder of a ~church~ not a mall, not walmart, but a church, do you want to put a stumbling block there for him?

I personally don't find it a big deal to use a nursing cover. Baby can still see you, you can see baby.

ETA: When I'm nursing a child, my chest is the least s*xiest thing to me. I don't want them touched in that way, however, for my husband, they're still hot, he's still very attracted to them! Not trying to defend the man, but it could have been the fact that a boob was there, not necessarily the child nursing from it.

I know....I'm in the minority here.
I don't want to be a problem to him or any other man. That's why I sit in the back & am very discreet. I think that I'm doing my part. If he's afraid of being "turned on" by seeing me nurse, he should make sure to situate himself in the sanctuary so that he will not be in line-of-sight with me & my son. If I arrive after him, he can easily find a new seat & nobody would notice. I do not know who this person is (nor do I want to know...since it would cause me to have bad feelings toward a fellow worshiper) so I can't make sure I'm out of his way.

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Originally Posted by mommajewels View Post
Not all babies will nurse covered up. Instead they will fuss & throw a fit, tossing themselves around, which could really cause an exposed boob when they jerk the cover off.. LOL.
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Originally Posted by myall4him2 View Post
Very true, not all babies will tolerate a nursing cover. I haven't read through the thread, did she say that's an issue?
I did say it was an issue. DS will just rip the cover off. I do what I can with my clothing & my breast stays covered.

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Originally Posted by momofdolls View Post
I nursed two boys regularly at my last church and it was NEVER an issue. We sat near the back, but in clear view of quite a few people. I did cover up with a blanket as long as I could, and when ds got to be too old, like your son, I did what you do. I do think that there were some women who were more offended than men, and I think a little worried I would flash their hubbies...but no one EVER said anything so rude. One wife did say there was a room for that, but our 'nursing room' was more of a changing room, and there was no way at all to participate in the service.

I do think that in your shoes I would tell the pastor that I was not only offended by the gentleman who complained; but also by the fact that she would ask you to hand out church info to nursing mamas in the same breath that she would tell you it was inappropriate to nurse in church. (she's essentially saying that.) I would let her knwo that I couldn't pass out info to my nursing group in good faith, knowing that they would be excluded from the church service if their child got hungry. I would point out that it is discrimination to ask you to leave, unless she was going to ask all mothers whose children were hungry to please leave the service and be inconvenienced. I would point out all the reasons what she's asking is wrong...do you really think we'll get new members if your attitude is not one of acceptance?

I'm mad for you and could literally write a book! Please keep us updated!
I agree!! I did tell her tonight that I cannot invite my BFing group if they are not going to be welcome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whitneywalters View Post
So if this man wrote the pastor and said I am attracted to OP feet, I got excited when she wore sandals last week, would it be okay for the pastor to email her and say I am asking you to no longer wear sandals. What about if he was really attracted to her lips, should she have to go to church somewhere else or what if he said I am just so excited about this women, should she have to leave? Really think about some of the odd things that some people are attracted to and then sit and think how ridiculous it would for someone to cover or avoid showing/doing those things. Is the pastor going to send an email to every women in the church saying no cleavage allowed? I have seen many many many people showing way more skin then I ever do nursing just wearing a tank top.

My husband is very attracted to my breasts but he can sit down next to me while nursing and not get excited, to him it is simply me feeding our child, there is really nothing sexy about it. He has been around many of our friends nursing and it never even phased him. When we had the issue with our church he stood up and said how disgusting it was for them to compare it to something of a sexual nature.

I also have to say that saying that men can not compartmentalizing is really insulting to men in general. Men are not animals.

Mostly I think this all boils down to the way it made OP feel. I know when I was attacked in my old church it was a horrible feeling, it was like they were saying that using my breasts the way God designed was sinful.
I think this is the root of the my post...I am so upset & hurt. I've been feeding Luke there for almost 11 months. This person was offended ONCE.

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Originally Posted by Janine View Post
I guess I just find it ironic that anyone could think that we are going to reverse the trend of women being sexualized by encouraging that very notion that women are little more than sexual objects. If this man has issues stemming from the fact that he cannot separate breastfeeding from sex, then who would think that the right thing to do is to reinforce that idea that breasts are sexual? Shouldn't we be enforcing the idea that breasts serve a non-sexual function? Don't you think that if this man, and the other boys and men in the congregation, were raised in a place where breastfeeding wasn't shunned to the corner like some perverse act that maybe they wouldn't view it as a perverse act? In my opinion, forcing a discreetly breastfeeding women into a closet where she won't "upset" anyone is making breastfeeding seem dirty and wrong. If it wasn't seen as such a taboo, maybe people wouldn't have issues with sexualizing it.
This is what I told the pastor when I talked to her tonight. I think that leaving the sanctuary or going behind a curtain in any way, is making it look like I'm ashamed of what I'm doing. I want others to know that BFing is OK!

Quote:
Originally Posted by chameleon607 View Post
I think this issue should be addressed with your pastor in a sit down meeting. You guys are a new church and this could become a bigger issue- there are always going to be mama's and babies, moreso as your church grows. How does your pastor feel about this situation? Is she uncomfortable? Is she just trying to help this man to avoid unpure thoughts/causing him to stumble? Is she thinking it will help all males not have unpure thoughts? Or, is she thinking the easiest route to a solution is to ask you- the person she is closer to- to just leave the service for awhile instead of confront this newer attendee that maybe he needs to work on controlling his thoughts because a Mama nursing is not something sexual.

Regardless of whether you comply and find a secluded place to nurse from here on out- won't that same man always look at you and remember that you were nursing and continue to have unpure thoughts? I don't think leaving the service from here on out to nurse your little one is really going to fix the problem.
My pastor said that she is fine with me nursing in the church & that she is more concerned with causing the man unpure thoughts. She thinks I should do something to make his life easier. She also said that it may be an issue for other men who just haven't said anything.

It is possible that she is just coming to me because we have a close relationship, BUT, that doesn't make it right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by z2akids View Post
I think the fact that this man went to the Pastor indicates that he does believe himself to have a problem. While I agree that OP has the right to nurse her baby before, during and after her worship service, the question really is - should she? That's a question only she can answer.

She's a founding member of her Church. As a founding member, is it more important for here to look out for possiblel future breastfeeding babies or for a current member of the Parish who is in spiritual trouble?

What message does OP want her new Church to send - that they are very pro-breastfeeding or that they are compassionate to people with problems?

Did her Pastor violate the confidentiality that this man should have been entitled to by bringing the subject to her in the first place? Can OP even bring this topic up for discussion without violating this man's trust in the Pastor?

Honestly, I don't know the answer to these questions. But, I don't think this issue is as simple as - it is her legal right to breastfeed so tough luck anyone who has a problem with it.


As you can see, I made my own choice and it had nothing to do with my legal right to nurse in Church.
Since the pastor said that whatever we do now will set a precedent for breastfeeding Moms then I think its a pretty important "battle" right now. More so than this one man. I think that a church should welcome breastfeeding Moms. If we set a precedent that BFing moms should leave the sanctuary, I will leave the church bc that is not a church I want to attend.


I don't think my Pastor violated his rights by talking to me, she was pretty vague & definitely didn't hint at who it was. I can deduce based on WHERE I was breastfeeding & who saw me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mommajewels View Post
When I am out & about, I nurse my daugther just as the OP described she nurses her baby. Like this: Yes, I am wearing a loose tee today, but I assure you it works just as well with a smaller, well fitted tee as well.



Tank underneath so no skin is exposed from that angle, either. Anyone who has any issues with that can excuse their weird self into another room while I am feeding my baby.
THIS is exactly how I nurse Luke. You might see a small line of skin near his nose. I am a 38 MMM. I have HUGE boobs--keeping them hidden 100% isn't always possible, depending on what top shirt I'm wearing & where I'm sitting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by z2akids View Post
I am not a pastor or in another leadership role in a church, so honestly I cannot answer your question. However, OP is in that role in her church. Therefore, she has to consider not just her personal preference, but the preferences of the congregation. This issue could tear apart her church before it even gets off the ground no matter what she decides. Therefore, as I posted - this isn't simply a matter of having a legal right and going for it.

As for it being a legal right, I didn't check what state OP is in. But, in most states private locations where she is authorized to be, like a place of worship, may well be a legal place for her breastfeed.
I'm pretty sure VA's legislature says that I can BF anywhere I can legally be including church.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustAugust View Post
Ditto. I am just of the idea that, while at church, I'll nurse as long as no one says anything. If someone is bothered by it, I'll go to the nursery and nurse her. For me, I just don't see the big deal to leave church to nurse. I'd rather go nurse somewhere else than offend someone. Is it dumb that they are offended? Yep! But is my NIP SOOOOO important that I should do it just to spite a person, possibly making that person so uncomfortable they don't come to church anymore? Nope.
I'm not doing it to spite someone. I'm doing it because it offends me to be asked to leave. Leaving the sanctuary to nurse Luke will make me so uncomfortable that I will leave the church. It's a lot easier for the man to do something so that he doesn't have to see us nursing than for me to have to leave the sanctuary. I do NOT want to have to pack up my stuff & move in the middle of a service to feed Luke. Also, our pastor's sermons are only about 15 minutes long...I could miss the entire sermon if I have to leave to nurse.

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Originally Posted by lisaaag View Post
Then she could go to a private room, church is not the place to be bare breast, nursing or not.
I am not bare breast during church.

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Originally Posted by lisaaag View Post
I stand by my statement, if you can't use a cover go to a private room.
Well, unfortunately, you are in the minority--even where the law is concerned.

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Originally Posted by *Peanut* View Post
maybe y'all should email the pastor!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by daisy0306 View Post
The problem here is not hers or his. It's OURS as a society. WE as a society have drawn a line between what is considered improper and proper. Then we expect people to pick sides, with the health of our children at stake.

So maybe he has some issues with breast and over sexualizing them. Maybe he never saw them used for nursing. Maybe his mom never BF'd him or his siblings. Maybe she was taught that it was wrong. Is that his fault? Is that the OP's fault?

How can our boys look at breasts that are flaunted everywhere and understand their roles if they are never taught what that role is?

I personally never BF'd in public, because I am a shy and private person. That is my personal choice. I chose to do so not for other people's comfort but for my own.

My breasts are both sexual and practical.
I agree. We cannot normalize breastfeeding---if the church's precedent is for BFing Moms to leave the sanctuary.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miles View Post
Now you said you were not showing anything or very little, was he excited over what little boob you were showing or excited over the baby nursing? Im asking becuase even if you use a cover and he knows your nursing do you really think he still wont be excited about it? It just sounds odd to me.
I don't know which one excited him. I'll have to clarify that with my pastor--its a good point, thanks for bringing it up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by akilamonique View Post
I haven't made it through all of the posts, so I don't know what the outcome is, but church is a place for family. As a leader, I think you should be setting a good example, and to me that is showing breastfeeding in normal. I would call the pastor back and tell her that it is not your problem that this member is turned on by you breastfeeding. What's he going to be turned on by next?? I would suggest that she return his email, explaining how natural breastfeeding is, discuss Mary and baby Jesus nursing, and that perhaps they have continuing counciling sessions until he isn't "turn on"
I agree!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maverick's Mama View Post
I haven't read the whole thread, so please excuse me if this has already been said, but am I the only one who thinks its a little off that this visitor man had the cojones to email someone about this?

I mean, its one thing if seeing the breastfeeding DID turn him on, but its a whole nother thing to actually work up the nerve to email someone FROM CHURCH nonetheless and let them know you got turned on by it.

Dear Lady From Church,

I am emailing today to let you know that on sunday when __________ was nursing her child during the service it made me hot and I am so bothered by these feelings of lust that I must email you to have her stop feeding her child during church services. My animal desires are so strong that I must have _______ be put out by nursing in another room because I cannot control myself and/or look the other way.

Sincerely,

Creeper in church

I mean, really!?! I just cannot imagine any man having that conversation with someone. You'd think if he had those feelings he would keep them to himself.

Makes me wonder if the lady didn't just make up this "visiting" man because she has issues with OP breastfeeding. IDK, I'm probably way off, but either way OP you did nothing wrong at all and I would have a talk with the lady who called you as well as who ever is the church leader (pastor maybe?) about this.
Your post made me laugh. I don't think my pastor would lie, but I do find it odd that someone would email a pastor with this issue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alinatmom View Post
I think what it comes down to is your personal conviction. You and you DH need to pray about it and pray if your values add up to that church. If you feel that it is totally that mans problem then dont step back from your convictions. I have personally made the decision to cover up or leave the room when I know I am around men that may feel uncomfortable but Its no less wrong/right to not do so. Either way I think this man needs prayer because he is obviously asking for help with his lust problem by coming to the pastor.
I am covered! Just because I'm not using a big drape to cover me does not mean that I am not covered. DH & I will definitely be discussing this & praying about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Peanut* View Post
Ok, I have to get this off my chest or else it will bug me forever. Honestly, after this, I am not coming back here to read the replies, so if you want to say something to me, I won't read it here. And yes, my confessions thread was referring to this thread.

If I offended anyone here I am sorry. I don't mean to offend anyone. I thought the forum here was to share different points of view, but it seems like if you say something unpopular, you get reamed for it. Some things I say I don't agree with myself, but I bring it up for argument's sake. And then I get this backlash and I respond in a way I don't want to because I feel attacked.

As for me going to law school. I am surprised that it was degraded for it. For a bunch of mamas who are about empowering women, I am shocked that I would be belittled for it. I said it because another poster told me that she doesn't even BF, and even she knew better than me. Of course I was offended, because obvious reasons. So I say I went to law school, because I want to point out that I am not ignorant when it comes to the law.

And then I am afraid that I came off like like the poster before me... you know, "I know better" than you, which I didn't want. Which is why I made my second comment about you ladies being tough enough to head to head to a legal professional. I meant it as a compliment, nothing else. And I get teased for that too.

But, to make fun of me by making sounds or whatever, is mean. I thought about writing something equally mean and hurtful back, but then I stopped and wrote the confessions thread instead. And even if I am proud of what I accomplished in life, why can't I be without getting teased about it? Other mamas here have also stated that they were doctors and other types of professionals, without anyone teasing them. If we are really for women moving up in the world, and women's rights, then why are we degrading each other like school yard kids?

I don't understand. I really don't.
We PMed each other. I get you. I do. That's what big girl panties are for. Hee hee.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sandy_dandy View Post
Tell the pastor you won't pass out cards at your BF group unless BFing is accepted at the church. Then remind her that you have a legal right to nurse and a moral obligation to feed your LO when he is hungry. Finally, that man's impure thoughts are HIS problem. It's not like you were there all by yourself and sitting around topless for no reason or something!
I have told her. She wanted me to still suggest the small groups to them. But, I cannot invite my friends to a church that is not accepting of BFing in services. Until we come to a conclusion on this issue I will NOT be inviting my BFing group (though 2 of them are on DS & 1 has posted on this thread!)

It's 12:05--not too bad!
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:11 PM   #284
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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P.S. If you find one in which Mary's wearing a hooter-hider, please let me know.
Thank God I wasn't drinking water. I would have spit it everywhere!!

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Originally Posted by MamaNae View Post
Ugh, mama I'm so sorry. I've been there, done that. It's a horrible horrible feeling to be so brutally attacked by so-called Christians.

I (and another mama on DS actually) was called before the counsel (with our husbands) and basically called every name in the book, the pastor even compared us to prostitutes, said we were PERSONALLY causing people to leave the church, we were causing our x-tian brother & sisters to stumble, we were damaging the churches reputation within the town and several other things. This was over me nursing in the church (wearing a nursing shirt) ONE time and my myspace. At the time this happened my oldest was nearly 2 and just didn't happen to nurse frequently. The only 'nursing room' was barged into every 10 minutes as people went to the bathroom. Seriously. *sigh*

Feel free to PM me if you wanna talk, I know how it feels.

Anyway, I opted to leave the church (in fact I stormed out of this meeting in tears and haven't been back...I won't even speak to the pastors now, they've tried to speak to me on a couple occasions and I walk away)...and I'd been attending that church since I was 5 years old...my husband was a founder when he was just a young child as well. We opted to leave. Obviously, you're not wanting to do that so, personally I'd continue as you are, you're discreet...going to a private room is a major hardship so I'd just continue on. This dude was a visitor, there is a high chance he won't return. If your pastor persists in pestering you about it decline her request to invite your nursing mama friends because this church isn't baby & mama friendly

:shock: That is TERRIBLE!
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:20 PM   #285
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

Op, I wonder if this issue is currently known to anyone other than you, the pastor and this man (who it sounds like may not even be a parishioner).

The reason I ask is because you mentioned that your child does not normally nurse during your service. I also note that he is almost a year old. I just wonder if perhaps you don't need to make this decision for your congregation at this stage, under these tough circumstances. At close to a year old, perhaps this might be the one time of the week when you offer your LO a baggie of cheerios or something other than the breast.

I'm not trying to discourage you from exercising your rights. I just know personally, that just because I have a legal right to do something does not always mean that I want to or need to exercise that right - especially when doing so may cause a rift in your new church. Especially in a position as a leader and founder, you have to weigh not only your own feelings and your child's needs, but those of your entire congregation and how things will be affected going forward for the next 50+ years.
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:24 PM   #286
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Originally Posted by z2akids View Post
Op, I wonder if this issue is currently known to anyone other than you, the pastor and this man (who it sounds like may not even be a parishioner).

The reason I ask is because you mentioned that your child does not normally nurse during your service. I also note that he is almost a year old. I just wonder if perhaps you don't need to make this decision for your congregation at this stage, under these tough circumstances. At close to a year old, perhaps this might be the one time of the week when you offer your LO a baggie of cheerios or something other than the breast.

I'm not trying to discourage you from exercising your rights. I just know personally, that just because I have a legal right to do something does not always mean that I want to or need to exercise that right - especially when doing so may cause a rift in your new church. Especially in a position as a leader and founder, you have to weigh not only your own feelings and your child's needs, but those of your entire congregation and how things will be affected going forward for the next 50+ years.
The problem I see with this, though, is that the next person's baby might be younger, and might not be old enough for a bag of cheerios. Or they might be like my baby who doesn't like cheerios, or any similar non-messy snack food. I would hope in the next 50+ years, the church (church is a general term) has come to terms with the fact that breasts were created to nurse our babies, and that's ok, not something to hide. With that said, I personally nurse in the middle of service, but use a cover. It creates more of a scene, because my daughter (who is almost 2) tries to just throw it off and get out from under it, but I do it anyway (not sure why).
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:26 PM   #287
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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At close to a year old, perhaps this might be the one time of the week when you offer your LO a baggie of cheerios or something other than the breast.
*took my chill pill*

And would like to rephrase my statement to:

Or, this mama should continue to nurse her child whenever he wants to nurse and where ever he wants to nurse for as long as she is comfortable doing so because a) that is her RIGHT and no one should dictate when she nurses her baby and b) all that matters is the comfort of the nursing mother. Not when others think its time to start offering a "snack" instead of the breast.
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:44 PM   #288
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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your child's needs
Call me crazy, but.. the needs of my children EASILY trump EVERYTHING else in my life... EASILY. Their needs will ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT, come first. Period. I thought, as a mother, that was a given....
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Old 09-08-2010, 10:48 PM   #289
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Originally Posted by mommajewels View Post
*took my chill pill*

And would like to rephrase my statement to:

Or, this mama should continue to nurse her child whenever he wants to nurse and where ever he wants to nurse for as long as she is comfortable doing so because a) that is her RIGHT and no one should dictate when she nurses her baby and b) all that matters is the comfort of the nursing mother. Not when others think its time to start offering a "snack" instead of the breast.
I'm guessing I'm glad I didn't read whatever you wrote first. I won't apologize for offering suggestions to what is potentially a sticky situation.

My professor always said - hard cases make bad law. It could also have the consequence of causing OP and her husband to leave or feel uncomfortable in the church they are founding.

A church is a community and OP and her child are not the only people in this community. They are at a beginning of their new community and this issue is only one of countless others that will come up over time. Personally, I would not handle this as a time to make a political statement. It is a time to build community and doing so may mean looking for a solution that does not 100% satisfy anyone. Churches come and go every day and split over things as simple as this. I think that most of the posters here are considering only the OP and forgetting that this isn't happening in isolation - she hasn't been kicked out of Walmart. Her Church is potentially in danger and advice from other posters to stage a sit in are not what I would consider to be helpful to promote the community of faith.

As I've said several times, I don't know the answer to the question. While I personally never chose to breastfeed during my worship service, the Catholic Church is generally a very family friendly religion. OP talked about wanting a church that welcomed children and didn't send them off to childcare/teaching during service. The Catholic church is absolutely that way. We worship as families and I know how important that can be to someone. To some people that may be as important as being welcomed to breastfeed during the service.

I just know that this issue could create lots of strong feelings and that it is potentially a devisive issue and needs to be handled carefully for OP and for the future of her church. Throughout this thread, I believe I have only tried to point out that the right to breastfeed is not the only thing that maybe needs to be considered.
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Old 09-08-2010, 11:05 PM   #290
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

But what if others in the community value being able to feed their baby when they are hungry? I would leave a church if they did not want me feeding my baby. Period. WOuld I do a nurse-in? No. Would I keep doing what I was, because it is what I feel good about? Yes.
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