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Old 09-14-2010, 10:16 AM   #361
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

Yeah why is it we can't blame our stumblings on them.

I was telling dh about the updates when I talked to him on break and he said "we're mammals get over it" I think I might make shirt that says that!!!

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Old 09-15-2010, 01:23 AM   #362
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

I've been thinking about this thread since I read it a few days ago and there seems to be a lot of "it's the guys issue, HE has problems, it's not right for him to be turned on my watching something so natural" yeah, its true, it is a natural thing to BF, but I doubt that he's turned on by an infant getting their nutrition, it's more of whatever amount of skin is shown - i understand you do your best to do it modestly, just feel like some of the comments are a bit harsh going his direction. As women, we may not always understand the struggle guys face, but I guess we should try our best to ensure that we aren't creating situations that lead them to stumble - whether its bf or wearing tight/low cut shirts, they're both showing skin and can lead a guy to stumble. As a Christian, shouldn't we be trying to help our brothers and sisters with the areas they struggle in?

I'm not saying that the OP should run off to another room to BF or should avoid BF at church all together, not at all. But I just think some of the comments geared toward his "issues" have been a little harsh.

Please don't start writing mean responses to my post, I'm not trying to upset anyone, and I totally respect a mother's right to BF whenever/whereever they need to. But I'm trying to, I guess, understand the struggles with covering up with a hooter hider or whatever they're called, (I'm not a BF mama) - if they tie at your neck is the kid still able to pull them off?
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Old 09-15-2010, 03:43 AM   #363
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Originally Posted by lovemyliesel View Post
I've been thinking about this thread since I read it a few days ago and there seems to be a lot of "it's the guys issue, HE has problems, it's not right for him to be turned on my watching something so natural" yeah, its true, it is a natural thing to BF, but I doubt that he's turned on by an infant getting their nutrition, it's more of whatever amount of skin is shown - i understand you do your best to do it modestly, just feel like some of the comments are a bit harsh going his direction. As women, we may not always understand the struggle guys face, but I guess we should try our best to ensure that we aren't creating situations that lead them to stumble - whether its bf or wearing tight/low cut shirts, they're both showing skin and can lead a guy to stumble. As a Christian, shouldn't we be trying to help our brothers and sisters with the areas they struggle in?

I'm not saying that the OP should run off to another room to BF or should avoid BF at church all together, not at all. But I just think some of the comments geared toward his "issues" have been a little harsh.

Please don't start writing mean responses to my post, I'm not trying to upset anyone, and I totally respect a mother's right to BF whenever/whereever they need to. But I'm trying to, I guess, understand the struggles with covering up with a hooter hider or whatever they're called, (I'm not a BF mama) - if they tie at your neck is the kid still able to pull them off?
Drape a cape over your baby while they are drinking a bottle or heck, even while they are sitting in a high chair. What do you think a baby more than a couple weeks old is going to do? Yes, push that cape off of them so they can look around or at least see its mama better. The hooter hider just ties around the mom's neck, it's not a restraint for the baby. Think apron rather than staked tent.
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:21 AM   #364
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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But I'm trying to, I guess, understand the struggles with covering up with a hooter hider or whatever they're called, (I'm not a BF mama) - if they tie at your neck is the kid still able to pull them off?
Well, there's a few issues with hooter hiders (there's a whole other thread on that here, too ).
1. Babies hate to be covered and will kick and squirm and splay themselves around until they get out. They can't pull it off, but for sure they can flash your boob to the world.
2. It makes some of us feel like we're doing something dirty that has to be hidden from other people.
3. They're just unnecessary for many of us. I can pretty easily breastfeed without showing any skin except for maybe a 1 second break while DS latches on. I mean, you really can't see anything, all the good bits are being covered up by baby's head. I suppose if you had a video camera trained on me, then replayed in slow motion and froze it, you might get a glimpse, but that's kind of sick
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Old 09-15-2010, 07:51 AM   #365
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

Yep, what the PP said. I was also asked to cover up at church and I wasn't showing anything- no one could say that they had even seen my boob. The reasoning was that the *might* see something. Umm...okay so don't look!

I think it's an emabarrassment thing for a lot of people- they want to come see the baby but don't know that she nursing, so then they feel awkward when I had to tell them that she was nursing at the time. I think I posted earlier that I wear a sling instead of a hooter hider.
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Old 09-15-2010, 08:08 AM   #366
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

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Yep, what the PP said. I was also asked to cover up at church and I wasn't showing anything- no one could say that they had even seen my boob. The reasoning was that the *might* see something. Umm...okay so don't look!

I think it's an emabarrassment thing for a lot of people- they want to come see the baby but don't know that she nursing, so then they feel awkward when I had to tell them that she was nursing at the time. I think I posted earlier that I wear a sling instead of a hooter hider.
Oh it is totally the embarrassment thing. It's like some people want us to wear hooter hiders just so that there's a huge sign saying "I'm breastfeeding! Avoid me at all costs!"

It's just odd to me. I can hold a perfectly normal conversation while nursing and not showing any skin, but people would rather avoid nursing mamas. It's a stigma, we're trying to get rid of it
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Old 09-15-2010, 09:27 AM   #367
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

I have a friend(friend A) who usually unbuttons her shirt from the top when she is nursing. We have a mutual friend (friend B) whose husband is very shy, it makes him uncomfortable to see friend A nursing but his comment was "it's kinda like seeing someone with a huge wart on the end of their nose your uncomfortable and aren't quite sure what to do" I think that is the problem with nursing.

And for the above question of why we say it's his problem~no skin is showing~ When I am in public I nurse like she is describing and seriously no skin shows and nobody knows I am nursing most of the time. Often people want to see the baby and I'll say she's eating and they suddenly get uncomfortable, they were talking to me fine just a minute ago because they did not know but suddenly the thought of what I am doing makes them uncomfortable because of social norms not because it is sexually enticing, not because of "how a guy is wired" but because of how our society has taught men to think of breasts(and taught women that this is how men think of breasts). This has even happened nursing in a sling!

Sidenote~
Personally I am tired of all the "Christian" teachings for women about how a man is turned on by everything. It just seems to make a bunch of women worried about everything and the men just say that's the way I'm wired when they lust. That is not at all what Christ taught, it is what is in the heart that causes us to sin. My husband has found the first step to controlling his thought life is walking in relationship with Father, second is being thankful for the "beauty" he has both of those come from the heart.
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Old 09-15-2010, 09:29 AM   #368
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

I'm just impressed. I'm still nervous about nursing in target. Nursing in the service would scare me silly (of couse DS is a very noisy nurser). We have a nursing room, so I go in there. I've seen other women nurse in Sunday school or service though. I admire them.

Eta: it makes me angry that I AM nervous about NIP. Our country is insane. Brittany Spears is okay but nursing isn't. Stoooopid.
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Old 09-15-2010, 10:42 AM   #369
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

I don't even have the words...other than OMG.

First of all, it is his problem not yours, and the preacher should be talking to him about it, not you.

Second, asking you to hand out information about the church at your breastfeeding group even though you now know she is not supportive of your breastfeeding...that is some gall.

If you wanted to, you should be able to (and can) just whip it all out, where ever you are. At least you are trying to be modest about it. I would refuse, and tell her to talk to the man, not you.
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Old 09-15-2010, 02:05 PM   #370
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Re: Asked not to nurse my son at church b/c...

Makes sense that the baby doesn't like to be covered up and still wants to see the world and not hide under a hooterhider- never thought of it since its not something I do. So thanks ladies for your responses. I've only witnesses one mom using it once and the baby didn't move at all, but she was only a few weeks old, I can see where it can be more difficult when they're older and squirmy - geese, like trying to change diapers while they're on the move, impossible!

And like a few of you said, little if no skin is showing, and unless the person is staring you down every second of the process - which would be really creepy - they shouldn't see much if anything.

(thanks for keeping your responses kind and informative and not hounding It's all new to me.)
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