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Old 09-28-2010, 11:38 AM   #1
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help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

we recently found out baby #3 is coming...and since then, i get a little more scared each day. i'm sooooo not ready for another baby. i'm not ready to be pregnant. i feel like i can't handle the 2 kids i have along with the housework and everything else...how am i going to balence another little person?!?! dd will be just over 2 years old when baby arrives...and that still seems like such a baby to me that i can't imagine having to take even more time and attention away from her for newborn care. i feel like she is going to suffer, and that doesn't seem fair. i always wanted 3 kids...just not right now...ya know?
you guys probably think i am totally horrible.
i know i will love this baby just as i love my other kids, but i am feeling so overwhelmed right now. this is such a shock, and dh just keeps telling me to "get excited already!"
how do you get over the shock of a surprise baby and get to the fun part???

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Old 09-28-2010, 11:44 AM   #2
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Re: help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

I am still waiting for the shock and fear to dissapear I have 9 weeks to go before baby number 3 gets here and I am scared poop-less. I have a 4yo and a 2yo and they are sooooooo much work, I just can't imagine how I am going to be able to handle one more, my patience is at max capacity right now.......
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Old 09-28-2010, 11:45 AM   #3
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Re: help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

Have you bought anything for the new baby yet? I know people are generally pretty superstitious about shopping too early but, for me, getting something super cute and tiny gives me a little flutter of excitement. I start to think about the cute, tiny person who will be wearing or playing with it and for a few minutes I forget about all the stressful stuff.

I hope the excitement hits you sooner than later, mama.
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Old 09-28-2010, 12:25 PM   #4
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Re: help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

When I get nervous about going from 1 to 2 I just tell myself that people have multiple children all the time and do just fine. You will be able to split your time and take care of them, it may just take some creativity or help from friends/family/neighbors. I think the scary part for me is knowing that I will have to actively work on spending time with each child whereas right now all my time/activities are spent with my DD. I don't know if I'm explaining it correctly or not, lol.
If it helps, I've heard that going from 2 to 3+ is not nearly as hard as going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2. You'll be fine and congratulations!
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Old 09-28-2010, 12:28 PM   #5
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Re: help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

Aw, I remember that. With each one after DD2! I'm a little in that frame of mind now with #6 coming.

You'll be amazed at how much cuter the babies are that you're scared of adding. Our last little boy is such a cut up and so sweet...I keep joking that he knew he better be the sweetest.

All of mine, except my oldest from the ex, are about 2 years apart. The little ones LOVE helping Mommy with baby care. Get some baby dolls, some play diapers, and plenty of things for them to take care of their babies. We're already doing that for ours - they love cuddling my belly and ask for the new baby all the time. Let your others in on it and they'll get you as excited as they are.

Good luck Mama. It's hard work but tons of fun if you let it be.

A big family is FUN. Having them closer together is kind of fun, too. Everyone will have someone to play with, including you!
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Old 09-28-2010, 12:43 PM   #6
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Re: help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

I'm there with you. We are expecting #3. I am 14 weeks and we found out a bit after 3 weeks, so we've had a while to get used to it. I am still in the freak out mode. It still doesn't seem real to me, despite seeing the baby 3 times on the ultrasound. My youngest just turned 3 this month and is still very much a baby and mama's boy. He's still co-sleeping and very attached. I worry SO much about how he is going to handle me being in the hospital a couple of days and not being able to sleep with me at night. I can't even think about after we come home from the hospital. I didn't feel this nervous about adding #2 and #1 was a few months shy of being 3 when he was born. He just seemed so much more independent that #2. I'm looking forward to the excitement and hope it shows up soon. I think once we find out gender and start to buy baby things, I will get more excited and my brain will settle. Who knows. So, anyway, you are NOT alone in this feeling!
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Old 09-28-2010, 12:48 PM   #7
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Re: help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

I'm pretty sure I share the whole scared feeling with ya... Its so hard for our lives to change once we have gotten used to our routine, but, just as I am sure I will figure it out, so will you. You can't force yourself to get excited, you'll get there on your own time I know I was planning for for this baby and I am still not completely excited all the time... Its a big change.... for anyone... no matter how many kids you have...

I'm sure though, once the shock wears off, you will begin to kick into mommy mode and you'll be ready to find out all about this new person. Just give yourself some time.
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Old 09-28-2010, 12:56 PM   #8
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Re: help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

I also remember being in your shoes, except i found out i was pregnant with #4 who wasn't even planned when #3 was only 3months old!!! I was going in for an IUD that was suppose to cover me for 5 years!! They said "sorry, we can't give you it today..." i was SHOCKED!!! I cried for about 3 to6 weeks.. my husband was just as shocked but i kept telling myself, this baby was obviously suppose to happen or she wouldn't be coming! I felt like i robbed baby #3 of the proper attention, but honestly she's the one that made my entire pregnancy go by so fast! Although i had to stop bfing cuz she wouldn't accept it anymore This 9 months will go by so fast and when your new baby is finally here you will have all the love in your heart that you had for the other 2! You will be just fine.. from time to time i think to myself, WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING???? But i get over it when they are all being good and hugging and kissing me! lol.. just keep saying "I can do this." Afterall i never thought in a million years that i would be 28 and have 4 kids! ANd still be sane! GOOD LUCK!
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:09 PM   #9
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Re: help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

thankyou all so much. it's nice to know i'm not alone!!!
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:18 PM   #10
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Re: help me get excited instead of scared!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mum2Addison View Post
When I get nervous about going from 1 to 2 I just tell myself that people have multiple children all the time and do just fine. You will be able to split your time and take care of them, it may just take some creativity or help from friends/family/neighbors. I think the scary part for me is knowing that I will have to actively work on spending time with each child whereas right now all my time/activities are spent with my DD. I don't know if I'm explaining it correctly or not, lol.
If it helps, I've heard that going from 2 to 3+ is not nearly as hard as going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2. You'll be fine and congratulations!
Thats my biggest problem/fear, I have none clse by, except the hermit AKA my MIL that lives WITH us but won't help with anything
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