Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-28-2010, 01:03 PM   #1
redhairboy's Avatar
redhairboy
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: minnesota
Posts: 1,169
My Mood:
My OB made me cry

I left my OB office in tears today and have been crying all day. The doctor was so mean to me. I really miss having my midwives, they never made me feel bad about anything. I really wanted to have a vbac this time and brought it up today. She went on and on about how im overweight. She asked why I didn't try to lose weight after having my first baby. She said you have already gained 12lbs (im 23 weeks). The other doctors in the office have been great and really nice. It is just this one lady so far. I really never want to see her again. I don't know what to do. I guess I ripped on the part of my uterus that will labor so it would increase my risk of rupture. She came in the room didn't even ask how I was doing. This all came about because I asked about having a vbac. I have already been feeling so sad lately and add this to it. Sorry if you can't understand this rambling. Just need to vent.

Advertisement

__________________
mama to 3. L 07 W 11 G 13
redhairboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2010, 01:06 PM   #2
AmandaR
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: California
Posts: 1,007
My Mood:
Re: My OB made me cry

I'm sorry. It's so unfair when you get an awful OB. I hope you can find one that's more supportive. My OB is totally willing to let me try VBA2C and mine are barely a year apart. It's a shame there are some who are less supportive.
__________________
Amanda
Mom to R (2008) L (2009) J (2010) and F (2012)
My Mommy Blog Nursing Giveaway Going On NOW!
Find Me On Facebook and Twitter
AmandaR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2010, 01:10 PM   #3
songbird516's Avatar
songbird516
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,164
My Mood:
Re: My OB made me cry

Doesn't the whole uterus labor? I don't understand what she said about "ripping" on anything- sounds like BS to me. I hope you don't have to see her again!
__________________
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and someone new (10/14)
Birth doula and life-long student of Everything! Need a doula in the central VA area? Let's talk! www.beyondbirthsupport.com
songbird516 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2010, 01:16 PM   #4
Layna's Avatar
Layna
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Fargo, ND
Posts: 2,485
My Mood:
Re: My OB made me cry

Call the office and have them put it in your file that you refuse to see that Dr. again.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. That's un-excusable.
Can I ask how they know you tore part of your uterus?
__________________
Dalayna, Wife to Wade Mama to Jessi Learah1/25/07 Barrett Jack 12/1/09 And Expecting a little peanut sometime around 3/10/11!
Layna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2010, 01:19 PM   #5
Kiliki's Avatar
Kiliki
Registered Users
Formerly: kr***y
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 9,397
Re: My OB made me cry

I'm so sorry. This brought to mind some of the awful experiences I had with a couple of midwives in the practice when I had my DD. we were military then, and only one hospital, so not like I could transfer. I remember feeling as you are now more than once.

Is there any way you can switch pratices? Or maybe talk to the staff and let them know you NEVER want another appointment with this OB again? I would encourage you to put your feelings to good use by making sure RIGHT NOW that you won't need to deal with this OB again. Maybe it sounds far-fetched, or too hard, or your circumstances don't allow for it. But if you can, why not try? Imagine if this is the OB you get while in labor.... Even if the odds are against that happening, there is still a chance (and this is precisely what happened to me w/my DD's birth!).

Also, don't be afraid to voice yourself to the OB when she is making these remarks. A simple, "You're not being very professional right now." or "I don't appreciate the way you are speaking to me." or "Your bedside manner is severely lacking." Just calmly and respectfully say how you feel and then ask to see another OB. That OB will get the point, and maybe it will make them stop and think about how they are treating/speaking to their patients.

I'm not sure how encouraging I'm being, but I just want to tell you that you are not alone in this, and that you have every right to stand up for yourself. A thousand to you, mama. I hope that everything gets sorted out.
Kiliki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2010, 01:35 PM   #6
AmazinMom6
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 151
My Mood:
Re: My OB made me cry

23 weeks is not too late to change doctors hun. You need to be happy and feel comfortable. Regardless if you never have an appointment with her again she may be on call the night you go into labor.
Please research the VBAC some more - weight is a factor, not a huge one, but it is more time between pregnancies that is the concern.
I really really regret not getting a different OB with my daughter. I wanted to from the beginning but felt trapped. After labor began things went from bad to worse. You may also want to look into getting a doula if you remain with this practice. If you research doulas in your area you may find a newer one that is willing to come and doula for you for free or at a very discounted price due to the fact they have to attend a certain amount of live births to get certified. That is the way I am going this time. My doula is doing it half price since she needs me as much as I need her. This way you have a person as an advocate on your side to help you when you feel powerless. I have been there I know the feeling. Good luck hun and it is not too late to find a new practice - I would up to 38 weeks if I felt unhappy.
__________________
Working Mom to DD 15 DS 10 DS 8 and soon-2-be Stepmom to DSD 4 DSS 2 and have a new born in November!
AmazinMom6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2010, 01:37 PM   #7
redhairboy's Avatar
redhairboy
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: minnesota
Posts: 1,169
My Mood:
Re: My OB made me cry

I had an emergency c section last time after being failure to progress and both me and baby getting infection. While having the c section my baby turned while they were pulling him out and I tore so I had it explained to me that from the normal low transverse incision i ripped down about 4 cm so it makes a Y apperance. I was thinking i was going to be ok being it was still in the low transverse section on the uterus. But today she said that is the part of the uterus that labors. She made me feel if I wasn't overweight I maybe could have a vbac. Other overweight mamas have vbacs all the time. BTW im a little over 200 lbs. I hate writing that but she made it seem like they would have a hard time because of my weight if something went wrong.
My husband is so mad right now. He said we will find a new clinic. But, what if I run into the same thing again. Last time I gained 40 lbs. They never once said one bad thing about it to me. I was the one saying it.
__________________
mama to 3. L 07 W 11 G 13
redhairboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2010, 01:40 PM   #8
redhairboy's Avatar
redhairboy
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: minnesota
Posts: 1,169
My Mood:
Re: My OB made me cry

Does anyone know how overweight you have to be to have weight be an issue with having a vbac? Is 50lbs to much overweight????
__________________
mama to 3. L 07 W 11 G 13
redhairboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2010, 02:02 PM   #9
Mamatoabunch's Avatar
Mamatoabunch
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,535
My Mood:
Re: My OB made me cry

Your weight has NOTHING to do w/ your ability to VBAC! I have had 8 VBACs, all at home, weighing from 225-274 at delivery. Find a new provider, now. I switched in my second pregnancy at 28 weeks. It is never too late to switch. Have you called any midwives? What about a HB?
__________________
Annabelle Mom to Makaley 19, Arden 19, Anniston 18, Taegan 15,Balen 13,Kellen 11, Ellery 9,Innish 7,Eiley 5, Finnian 4, and Esca 2, and Isolde 1/16/2014, 10th hbac, 9th uc.
Mamatoabunch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2010, 02:11 PM   #10
1boy1girl1bitty2's Avatar
1boy1girl1bitty2
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 3,488
Re: My OB made me cry

i'm so sorry mama! stick up for yourself you will never get a second chance at this pregnancy so make sure you are completely comfortable and happy.

*side note the doc isnt wrong about the y incision making it an added risk of rupture but not impossible to vbac, just find the right doc
__________________
If my post says "spam me" then PLEASE spam me with all the cool new things I've been out of the loop so long I no longer know what's cool
1boy1girl1bitty2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.