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Old 03-06-2007, 10:20 PM   #11
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

Will I regret having only one child?
YES!

Was it difficult going from one to two?
NO! It was awesome. Seriously. In a lot of ways it is easier.

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Old 03-06-2007, 10:51 PM   #12
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

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This isn't an answer to your question, because only you and DH can answer that. BUT, I was so worried that there was no way I could love another child as much as I do my first - it seemed impossible, and almost unfair. I have found that for family there's a bottom-less well of love. And siblings LOVE eachother (even when they fight )

Ditto.. That's only something you and dh can decide.. I personally have no regrets about having a larger family.
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Old 03-07-2007, 01:41 AM   #13
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

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So will I regret having only one child? Was it really difficult for you to go from one to two?
Well, I know I absolutely would have regretted it, if I only had one. To be completely honest, I do regret waiting so long to have another - DD wasn't planned, as I was so afraid of being pregnant again after DS and definately didn't want to go through it again, and I think had she not come along when she did, I may have never been "brave" enough to go for it...ever. It sounds silly, but it's true.

As it turns out though, her pregnancy was not that bad (not that it was easy, but it wasn't horrible), and I'm sailing through this one, and really I had no worries/concerns about going from one child to two, nor do I have any about going from 2 to 3. It was surprisingly easy.. much easier for me than adapting to having a newborn for the very first time.

I have to admit though that DD was a somewhat "easy" newborn, wheras DS was definately not. He was high needs, had reflux, etc, so much of my day was spent just trying to keep him from having a total meltdown, but with DD I could actually enjoy just cuddling her while doing things with DS, which really helped out. So it's not that she was necessarily less work, but definately much less stress

#3 will be it for me though, I've always only wanted 3 kids, and while I was convinced for a while that DS would probably be our only, I'm glad he isn't I think I would feel like I was missing something if we weren't having (or planning) #3.

I say, while your baby is still young (and 9 months is still very young!) don't make any permanent decisions. You have a while to decide, either way #2 and #3 will be almost exactly 2 years apart (likely a bit over) and that's about as close as I think I'd ever want them to be, and I got pregnant when DD was almost 16 months old, and even that seemed like it was "too soon"
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Old 03-07-2007, 01:49 AM   #14
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

I think whatever you decide, you should not ever look back (regret) but like a pp said, it might be too 'early' to decide. maybe just let things "be" as it were, and if something happens, it happens. KWIM?

I think children adapt to their situation regardless... why? because they have nothing else to compare it to

And IME - going from 1-2 was hard. I had no idea how to accomodate for #2 - but it took a little while and figured it out quick. - then again. theres a 10 year gap from #2 to #3 and that was a super hard transition! harder than from 1 -2 but it's because so much of our lives was already set in and it was like starting all over again - oh wait... it was exactly like that!

Good luck - go with your heart/gut
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Old 03-07-2007, 07:32 AM   #15
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

This is a difficult question but I offer up some advice. DS #1 just turned 5 and DS # 2 is only 6 months. There is a HUGE gap (because I was a teenage mom and was no where near ready for another any sooner! er..well I guess I *COULD* have gotten preggo at 18 and then there would only be a 2 yr gap but we weren't ready then).

Adam became very spoiled (some people will argue this point) because he had all that time alone. Now, he's very jealous of the baby. I wish there wasn't such a huge gap but circumstances didn't allow that. Anyway, he was VERY spoiled and becoming a brat despite constant attempts to discipline him and teach him not to be that way. He's getting better by the day now.

DBF was kind of an only child. They say if a child is 6 or more years old when they get a sibling then they are still technically an only child. DBF was about 8 when his mom got pregnant again. To this day, he still has problems interacting with other people. Sometimes it's all about him and I hate that. We've been together for 4 years and he STILL gets like that and it's because for so long it WAS all about him.

I have an "uncle" (my aunt's ex husband) who spent his entire life as an only child. He is the most, arrogant, self absorbed @$$hole, I have ever met.

I have a cousin who is an only child and she is the worst behaved child I have ever seen.

I have seen too many cases of an only child turning into a problem for me to believe that it's not connected. IMO it is most definately connected. We're going to TTC as soon as DBF finds a better job. We want LOTS of kids (we've already heard how crazy we are) and they'll be relatively close together.

I say, do what's right for you though. If you feel complete, then have no regrets. If you don't feel complete, then have another child. Follow your heart HTH at least a little.
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Old 03-07-2007, 08:09 AM   #16
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

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I have seen too many cases of an only child turning into a problem for me to believe that it's not connected. IMO it is most definately connected.
I have observed that same thing, which is one of the reasons I want Katie to have a sibling.

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Originally Posted by Cristina View Post
IWas it difficult going from one to two?
NO! It was awesome. Seriously. In a lot of ways it is easier.
How would you say it was easier?

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Originally Posted by jls~Kain~Drake View Post
What's better than your 1 beautiful, smart, playful, loving child? In my house, 2 beautiful, smart, playful, loving children
That's cute!

It's not like it's "now or never" on another child, but we'd like to have them close, in part because DH wants to stay at home while they're young and the sooner we have all our kids, the sooner he can go back to work. Also, I realize that we may not be able to avoid it, but I think if Katie and the second are close to each other, Katie may be less jealous.
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Old 03-07-2007, 01:34 PM   #17
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

You have to do what's right for you and your family and then ignore what everyone says.

I don't buy the "only child = problem child" theory. I know troubled only children, I know troubled children with siblings. After working in a children's mental health clinic, I honestly can't say that I saw an abnormal number of only children walking through our doors.

Good luck to you.
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Old 03-07-2007, 01:58 PM   #18
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

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You know, I think this is one of those things that no one else can really answer for you. If it's right for your family, you won't regret it. If you always feel a longing or that something is missing, then you'll regret having just one. Only you and your husband can answer this one. Just follow your heart and do what you feel is best for your family.
ditto
david will be our only child due to age (dh's mostly) and financial reasons.
it is right for me now to say its best for us. it was hard though as i did want to have more, but after waiting for soo long for david (i had primary IF for years), im so greatful and thank GOd every day ididnt have to do that dreaded IVF. i know someone that did 6!!! 6IVFs!! YIIKES!!
that is when i put everything into perspective.
its what you think is best for you, noone else can answer that question.
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Old 03-07-2007, 02:01 PM   #19
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

In my personal experience going from 1 to 2 was nothing. But 2 to 3 has been an adjustment. When you have more kids than hands it means more time doing things like...carseats, baths, meals. But it hasn't been hard just more effort. #2 is my high needs baby but with #1 being such a momma it has been worth every second!
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Old 03-07-2007, 02:09 PM   #20
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

I was dead set against having a second child until DS1 was 6. I'm so glad that we decided on having another baby. Obviously going from 1 to 2 was an adjustment as Ds1 was so much older, in hindsight 4 years apart probably would have been better.
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