Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-06-2007, 03:26 PM   #1
jls~Kain~Drake's Avatar
jls~Kain~Drake
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4,573
My Mood:
Headstrong 3yo...help?

I'm going to make this "short & sweet"...

Kain just turned 3yo in January. He's very headstrong, stubborn, defiant, etc. He does not respect me, take me seriously, or see me as an authority at all unless I get downright evil (ya know, screaming/yelling, spanking, etc).

Please tell me how to turn this around NOW....Help!!

Advertisement

__________________
Jenelle SAHM to Kain (01/27/04) Drake (08/22/05)
~*55 lbs lost, 25 to go!*~
jls~Kain~Drake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 06:04 PM   #2
MamaZ's Avatar
MamaZ
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 4,119
My Mood:
Re: Headstrong 3yo...help?

Hey sounds like my DS Or at least was the way my DS was, he's much better now. I found that my DS was trying to get me to loose my mind like your's is, he wanted to see me yell and scream and my head spin around like the exorcist. What I found worked for me, as tough as it was for me because I'm hot tempered, I had to remain calm and do some ignoring. When he would get in trouble, I would put him in time out, stick to my guns on it, ignore his cries, whines, screams. Time out would not officially start until he was quiet. At age 3, it was only 3 minutes, but there were times he was there for about 60 mins or more because of his hissy fits. That was one thing that helped.

When we would play together he would get nasty and throw things. I would calmy say "I can't play with you if you're going to act this way" get up and leave the room. He immediately would get mad and angry, but eventually he would come out, say he was sorry and would get better.

Another thing that was pointed out to me by another mom was I should praise him like crazy when he does something good. SO I did. And wow what a difference that would make! It was kind of a "respect me and I'll respect you" kind of thing.

I had bought two books too, Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child and also The Pocket Parent. Both were good and had some really good points. I was also told the Nanny 911 book was good too.

I was told by so many people that my DS was a problem child, he was ADHD, ODD, etc. No, I just had to find out how to truely deal with him. He's just like you described your DS, which is the same way I am Once we learned how to understand each other, we've gotten along great

I hope that helps a little, I'm not that great on advise, but I've found a lot of books out there that really help with behavior probs and how to deal with them. Heck even watching Super Nanny gives me some ideas to try too
__________________
~Tiffanie~
Ashlee due April 18th
Dylin (5/24/02) Amber (1/2/06) Autumn (8/31/07)
MamaZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 06:08 PM   #3
southernmom2three's Avatar
southernmom2three
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,519
My Mood:
Re: Headstrong 3yo...help?

My SIL in a child therapist. I have one defiant child who has had me in tears so many times and just so frusterated...
My SIL told me about the book, "Try and Make Me", she uses it a lot in her practice. Well it was 2yrs after she told me about this book I finally bought it and its changed my parenting and its helping me deal with my other child (2yr toddler) who is just a normal toddler doing normal toddler things, but frusterating none the less. I so wish I would have listened to her 2yrs ago. I would have saved myself so much heartache.
__________________
Nikki, Mom to Clay (10), Annika (8) and Eden (3)
southernmom2three is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 10:38 PM   #4
jls~Kain~Drake's Avatar
jls~Kain~Drake
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4,573
My Mood:
Re: Headstrong 3yo...help?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaZ View Post
I was told by so many people that my DS was a problem child, he was ADHD, ODD, etc. No, I just had to find out how to truely deal with him. He's just like you described your DS, which is the same way I am Once we learned how to understand each other, we've gotten along great
I think this says a lot right there. I would say that my son has a lot of ADD...kind of...quirks? Ya know, I could see people labeling him that way....but I truly think that I just need to figure him out. I KNOW he has the potential, I'm just at such a loss trying to figure him out and I've run out of ideas. I have the SuperNanny book, and really...a lot of things make total sense...but I have such a hard time implementing everything consistently..there are so many fine details. I really do try to praise him on every little thing and he does respond so well...but it's hard when you're trying to keep up the house (and I don't necessarily mean keeping it tidy...because tidying can be done after bedtime or they can help...but real cleaning..ya know, dishes, laundry, cleaning toilets, floors, vaccuming...some stuff can wait, but some stuff can't - like mouse poop! a recent problem...) and keeping up with him (3yo) and his little brother (18mo). I've noticed that I am negative with him a lot and I know it's only making the problems worse...but it's so hard to change when you're stressed to your eyeballs.

One of the *biggest* more recent problems that seems to be escalating on a daily basis...is he's trying to be the 'boss'. He's trying to parent us (mostly 18mo & myself, but sometimes daddy too). He reprimands us, tries to put us in timeout, tries to spank us Which I know is all behavior that he's learned...but he totally doesn't understand that he has to listen to me. Which - I guess is along the lines of respect?

I'm going to check out the books you guys mentioned. I appreciate the help. I'm truly at a loss. I want to call SuperNanny or Nanny911 and get some help! I need someone to hold my hand and walk me through it. I'm sure there's more that I'm doing wrong that I can't see.
__________________
Jenelle SAHM to Kain (01/27/04) Drake (08/22/05)
~*55 lbs lost, 25 to go!*~
jls~Kain~Drake is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.