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Old 10-03-2010, 11:03 AM   #1
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Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

We are considering having another baby (LO is 2 now) the only problem is I want a home birth with a midwife preferably a water birth (but that depends on the labor its self) he wants a hospital birth (in case anything happens).

With our 1st child I had a Hospital Birth with a doctor that was the next best thing to a midwife (he actually studied with a midwife and is a very natural birth type guy) the only thing is I didn't like it it was uncomfortable for me, what felt like a 1001 people in the room (it was probably only about 4-5 nurses), hospital atmosphere, wanting to take my son away 2 seconds after they had put him on my chest and the cord had been cut (I actually told the nurse to give me 5 minutes with my son), everything just felt so rushed, uncomfortable sleeping arrangements (no place for hubby to sleep, they had to move us the day after (only 3 birthing rooms) and we re-arranged the second room), having nurses popping in every couple of hours telling us to wake the baby to feed him. I just hated the whole experience.

For the next one I want a home birth with a midwife hubby wants a hospital birth just in case something happens (baby's heartbeat dropped 3-4 time during labor and they had to reposition me). Our hospital is not equipped to have water births (only jetted bath tubs, you can stay in as long as you want just not while you are pushing) and I want to feel in control of my own delivery and not feel so rushed.

What I want to know is how do I convince my hubby that a home birth is just as safe as a hospital birth?

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Old 10-03-2010, 11:26 AM   #2
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Re: Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

There was a really good study done in BC that came out last year...I can't find the link right now but besides reading pro-homebirth studies, your best bet to convince your DH is to meet a midwife and let him 'interview' her, so to speak. My SO was really against our homebirth but after it was all said and done, he's a big fan of it now Our midwife can show him her equipment, procedures/protocols, what to do when..., his role in a HB, etc.

Dropping heartrate is normal in birth - it's labour! What makes it scary is that in the hospital you're hooked up to machines that report everything which can stress ppl out.

Tell him, no parking lots and metres to deal with, a few hours after birth you're all sleeping in the comfort of your own bed/home...

If none of that works, maybe meet 1/2 way and use a birthing centre
Good Luck
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Old 10-03-2010, 11:31 AM   #3
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Re: Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

Here is a link to a bunch of links on the safety of homebirth: http://www.gentlebirth.org/ronnie/homesafe.html

This is a recent (2005) enormous study published in the British Medical Journal that showed that planned homebirth for low risk women was just as safe as hospital birth for mother and baby:
http://www.bmj.com/content/330/7505/1416.abstract

My DH was not really fully convinced until he met my midwife when I was 17 weeks pregnant with my DD. Before then, he kind of trusted that I wasn't going to do anything crazy, but when he met her, he was deeply impressed by the quality of care I was getting, and he is a homebirth advocate now.
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Old 10-03-2010, 11:35 AM   #4
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Re: Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

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Originally Posted by crazylife View Post
There was a really good study done in BC that came out last year...I can't find the link right now but besides reading pro-homebirth studies, your best bet to convince your DH is to meet a midwife and let him 'interview' her, so to speak. My SO was really against our homebirth but after it was all said and done, he's a big fan of it now Our midwife can show him her equipment, procedures/protocols, what to do when..., his role in a HB, etc.

Dropping heartrate is normal in birth - it's labour! What makes it scary is that in the hospital you're hooked up to machines that report everything which can stress ppl out.

Tell him, no parking lots and metres to deal with, a few hours after birth you're all sleeping in the comfort of your own bed/home...

If none of that works, maybe meet 1/2 way and use a birthing centre
Good Luck
To the bolded, not only that, but even if the hospital doesn't require you to be lying in a bed, what else are you going to do in a conventional hospital room with monitors hooked up to you? It's very unnatural to labor that way, and babies can get stressed by that as they're making their way into the world. In a homebirth, you're in your space, you're moving around into positions that feel good to you--sitting, kneeling, walking, squatting--and very rarely just lying in a bed. This is just better for baby's heart rate and oxygenation.
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Old 10-03-2010, 12:15 PM   #5
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Re: Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

All those "just in cases" can be handled by a good midwife, and are less likely to happen at home anyway.
I just had to go into the hospital last night because I was having some contractions, and while my dr. is great...he's out of town...and the experience, even for only a couple hours, was miserable. My other 3 children have been born at home, and this one has to stay put for another month.
I think the best thing to do is meet with some midwives, have her address your dh's concerns, take the Bradley childbirth class (because it will help him feel more in control), and plan a homebirth, knowing that you can go to the hospital if you need to.
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Old 10-03-2010, 01:11 PM   #6
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Re: Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

It's my opinion that the person pushing the baby out gets to decide where they want to push it out. Home birth is just as safe for low-risk women as hospital birth, and safer in the respect that your chances of intervention plummet. I'd also recommend against a birth center if you genuinely want to birth at home. A hospital birthing center has to follow hospital policy, and a free-standing birth center is no more prepared to handle emergency than a home birth. Midwives come VERY prepared, but they use the same equipment both at a home birth and a free standing birth center birth.
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Old 10-03-2010, 01:17 PM   #7
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Re: Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

is he a reader mama?? get the book "pushed" by Jennifer Block

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/0738210730


it will give you every last reassurance and piece of info he will ever need!! the first chapter or too is kinda statistical. but it's loaded with great info. another great thing would be to watch the movie "the business of being born" another great work on pregnancy!!
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Old 10-03-2010, 01:43 PM   #8
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Re: Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazylife View Post
There was a really good study done in BC that came out last year...I can't find the link right now but besides reading pro-homebirth studies, your best bet to convince your DH is to meet a midwife and let him 'interview' her, so to speak. My SO was really against our homebirth but after it was all said and done, he's a big fan of it now Our midwife can show him her equipment, procedures/protocols, what to do when..., his role in a HB, etc.

Dropping heartrate is normal in birth - it's labour! What makes it scary is that in the hospital you're hooked up to machines that report everything which can stress ppl out.

Tell him, no parking lots and metres to deal with, a few hours after birth you're all sleeping in the comfort of your own bed/home...

If none of that works, maybe meet 1/2 way and use a birthing centre
Good Luck
To the bolded part he had to sleep on the floor for 2 days with his back out of place (apparently I am quite strong during labor) with our 1st one. But that wont likely be a deciding factor for him.

Our nearest birthing center is over an hour away where as the hospital is 5 minutes away. I guess he is so worried about the just in case because he was born with the cord wrapped 2-3 times around his neck and ended up going to CHEO for a few months because of respiratory problems.

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Originally Posted by MyLovely View Post
It's my opinion that the person pushing the baby out gets to decide where they want to push it out. Home birth is just as safe for low-risk women as hospital birth, and safer in the respect that your chances of intervention plummet. I'd also recommend against a birth center if you genuinely want to birth at home. A hospital birthing center has to follow hospital policy, and a free-standing birth center is no more prepared to handle emergency than a home birth. Midwives come VERY prepared, but they use the same equipment both at a home birth and a free standing birth center birth.

My opinion too but he is always worrying.
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Old 10-03-2010, 01:46 PM   #9
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Re: Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

I'd have him watch the business of being born, GREAT homebirth movie! Sorry I have to make this short because I could go on forever about HB, its amazing! Hope you can convince your DH!
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Old 10-03-2010, 02:58 PM   #10
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Re: Home Birth V.S. Hospital Birth

Quote:
Originally Posted by chloecat View Post
is he a reader mama?? get the book "pushed" by Jennifer Block

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/0738210730


it will give you every last reassurance and piece of info he will ever need!! the first chapter or too is kinda statistical. but it's loaded with great info. another great thing would be to watch the movie "the business of being born" another great work on pregnancy!!
I loved this book and gave it to DH to read too. The only problem with this book is that, while it's completely packed with wonderfully valuable information, it reads a lot like a research paper, especially in the beginning, so it's a very dry read. I didn't mind because I was interested but DH made it about halfway though and has gotten side tracked. He also is trying to argue against all of the information and claiming that the only information they have is information supporting their claim, and that the rest has been left out. I completely understand the situation you're in because we're stuck too, except this is our first so he's extremely edgy and untrusting of the whole thing.

What we're doing right now is meeting with the OB on the 18th (at 8 weeks) and talking with her so I can get to know her. I agreed to give her a fair shot if he would be willing to interview a few midwives too so we'll have to see how that goes. The OB at the hospital is really good (his sister had her and everyone has really recommended her) but I've seen their facilities and rooms and it's pretty minimal. There was a stand-in shower in a small bathroom and there's no birthing tub that I've seen at all, with probably not enough room to set it up even if it was allowed. We might be able to bring a birthing ball. Yay. So we'll see how the OB appointment goes and I'm really looking forward to meeting with a few midwives after.

Best of luck! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!
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