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Old 10-04-2010, 10:24 AM   #1
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Anyone nearly lose their own life in pregnancy or delivery? How to deal with fear?

This may belong elsewhere..

Anyhow, I nearly lost my life as a direct result of ODD's delivery. Long story but I had pretty severe PTSD for sometime after she was born, went to counsling, etc. When we got pregnant with YDD I had some fear but did pretty will overall. Her delivery was relatively uneventful fortunately. Now for some reason with my third pregnancy, I'm completely terrified again. I wake up sweating, in a panic thinking I'm going to die and leave my kids without a mother.

Any idea why this is coming up now when I was able to get through a previous pregnancy without so much fear and anxiety? Therapy really did nothing for me, mostly it was just time and maintaining a close relationship with my midwife that helped so I don't think that is going to help this time. What else could I try? I really don't want to spend the next 7 months living in fear of what "may" happen nor do I want my last babies birth to be marred by fear.

Thanks!

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Old 10-04-2010, 11:42 AM   #2
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Re: Anyone nearly lose their own life in pregnancy or delivery? How to deal with fea

After having #3 I came thisclose to losing my life. It was 10 days PP and I ended up in the ICU for a week after and seperated from my baby, and not able to ever BF. I was told to never get pregnant again or I would surely die. I was diagnosed with PTSD after about 6mos when I started having more memory of the incident, nightmares, bad anxiety, depression... Therapy ended up going into a lot more than just that incident, but it really helped.
I ended up pregnant while on the patch about 14mos later and it was really scary. As soon as I found out they had me go to a perinatalogist at exactly 6wks to see if the pregnancy was even viable before going over the plan of action. I had to see a Peri over an hour away every 2wks for almost my entire pregnancy. I had to see a high risk OB every 2wks until 30wks and I went in every week. Had NSTs done every week, was induced a week early to avoid some of the risks, had 2 echocardiograms done in pregnancy and shortly after delivery. I got pregnant again 13mos later but this time I wasn't AS high risk and only went to the Peri once. Still did the echos, NSTs and I ended up being incuded even earlier for another unrelated situation but it was always scary the first 2 weeks PP. At 10 days PP I always got really anxious. I found a lump in my breast on 10 days PP w/ #5 and I called the advice nurse. While on hold I started having a panic attack just thinking about having to go to the ER on 10 days PP. Dh had to take the phone and talk to the nurse and it ended up being a plugged duct, but I swear, I thought I was going to die. I did NOT want to go to the hospital on that 10th day PP again... no way!!
But it hasn't stopped me from wanting more kids. I just have to deal with the added anxiety and risk, but know I'll be okay. I have a much stronger faith in God now as well. That helps.
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Old 10-04-2010, 11:55 AM   #3
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Re: Anyone nearly lose their own life in pregnancy or delivery? How to deal with fea

I had 5 seizures while in labor with dd....due to my blood pressure 220/180. So I guess you could say that is near death. I also had retained placenta 6 weeks pp and suffered from childbed fever.

However, I had my next child at home, zero problems, zero fear.

I read somewhere that a lot of women get "3rd baby syndrome". Something to do with things went well the first two times, so there is irrational fear that your luck has "run out"....IDK though.....I just remember reading about it.

Have you checked out the book "Birthing From Within"
You really should, it did AMAZING things for my fear level.
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Old 10-04-2010, 07:50 PM   #4
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Re: Anyone nearly lose their own life in pregnancy or delivery? How to deal with fea

I have a very dangerous condition called placenta accreta and I have a chance of loosing my life during my delivery...I know I am going to have some issues even when this pregnancy if over...this pregnancy has changed my life forever.
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Old 10-05-2010, 02:35 PM   #5
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Re: Anyone nearly lose their own life in pregnancy or delivery? How to deal with fea

My blood pressure bottomed out and I had hemorrhaging right after delivery. I passed out and don't remember the first 15 minutes or so of my daughter's life. Luckily, my ex-DP and her mom took a lot of pictures (of her on the scale and things of that nature) that I can reflect upon.

I refused the blood transfusion.
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Old 10-05-2010, 09:21 PM   #6
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Re: Anyone nearly lose their own life in pregnancy or delivery? How to deal with fea

Thank you for your stories ladies! I assume the fear is normal it is just odd that it is so much worse this time. I've heard something about 3rd pregnancies being the "wild card." I'm not excited about hearing it will "either be perfect, or kill you" though. I wish I thought counseling would help but it didn't before. I've read Birthing from Within and love the book (I'm a nurse-midwifery student) and I completely support homebirth but no homebirth midwife will touch me with a 10-foot pole. I would not have survived if I had birthed ODD at home so I'm a pretty unattractive client now as recurrence is possible.

Anna - accreta was part of my problem so I'm definitely thinking really good thoughts for you!
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Old 10-06-2010, 01:12 AM   #7
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Re: Anyone nearly lose their own life in pregnancy or delivery? How to deal with fea

well it sounds to me like a recurrence of your ptsd and through maybe some guided therapy you can get to the root of your fear and face it? come up with a game plan to handle any situations you are familiar with and able to pre-empt...and also trust that every birth is different and be grateful for your past so that you at least KNOW to look for certain circumstances this time...
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