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Old 10-04-2010, 08:32 PM   #11
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

Thanks so much everyone...It really helps to know that others feel the same way, and it is fairly normal. I am seeing a perinatal psychiatrist, my next appt. is in a week or so, haven't seen her for a bit.


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Old 10-04-2010, 08:36 PM   #12
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

No need to feel guilty! I hate being pregnant. I hate the exhaustion, the heartburn from day one the morning sickness that lasts for months, the back pain, oh the back pain. I wish that someone could hit me with a baseball bat, maybe I would feel better.
But I LOVE feeling the baby inside me, and the while idea of growing a baby. But no mama I am right there with you on not enjoying it at all. And I am TTC too. Sometimes I think that I am crazy that I would go through all of that again to have another child. But I LOVE my children and would gladly go through it again!!
Stephanie madly in love with her Medical Student.
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Old 10-04-2010, 09:52 PM   #13
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

You are normal

I do not like being pregnant.
I am thankful and thrilled to be blessed with carrying a child and having a baby. But I majorly dislike being pregnant.

The baby kicks.. those are great. Except that my last pregnancy, I was carrying so low and I had a tear in one of the muscles in my uterus that once DS got past 25 weeks, it was SO very painfull when he kicked or punched me. Sometimes I would start bawling, it hurt so bad.
Then when he was 30+ weeks, he was breech. And he LOVED to stretch out as much as he could. And his head pressed RIGHT at the spot where the uterus was torn. It was horrible.
Finally after our version at 37 weeks, it got a little better, but I was so sad to have missed out on that one enjoyable part of pregnancy.

I'm hoping this one is better. (On top of that with DS, I had major bad sciatica to where I couldn't walk most of the time.) It's going to be my last pregnancy, so I'm determined to make the best out of it and enjoy it as much as I can. So far it's been great and honestly, sometimes I forget that I'm pregnant because I've had no symptoms! (Only 17.5 weeks though!)
Dalayna, Wife to Wade Mama to Jessi Learah1/25/07 Barrett Jack 12/1/09 And Expecting a little peanut sometime around 3/10/11!
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Old 10-05-2010, 10:07 AM   #14
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

yeah, I have a confession: I was not expecting this pregnancy at all, I cried in fear and distress for a few days when it was finally confirmed, and I am NOT.AT.ALL. looking forward to those glorious last few weeks, when I have gained a solid 25 to 33 pounds yet I need to get up every a.m. around seven o'clock to chase after three other kiddo's. Nuh uh.

I still welcome this new baby, and he/she will be just as loved as its brother and sisters. I'm thankful for my fertility. I'm keeping a pregnancy diary just like I did with the other three, and I am kind of excited to get a baby memory book. I just am not liking this pregnancy at all.

I had horrific, night-and-morning sickness which caused me to lose four pounds, I was so tired in those first 12 weeks I literally could barely keep my eyes open, and now they're telling me I need progesterone shots, every 2 weeks, til 36 weeks. Sooooooooo not looking forward to the rest of this pregnancy!

It's normal, and it's ok. Doesn't mean your baby isn't loved or wanted.
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Old 10-05-2010, 12:16 PM   #15
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

Yes mama, it's normal. I don't like being pregnant either. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it and sometimes feel guilty that I am not one of those women who claim to be so in love with the whole process. But it's healthier to just own my feelings and move on. I am a great mom regardless and I love my babies so that's what truly counts. Yes I should count my blessings more often and have the right attitude more often but couldn't that be said about anyone? I am a work in progress so inperfection is totally okay.
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Old 10-05-2010, 12:44 PM   #16
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

We always have something to feel guilty about, don't we? I felt guilty for ENJOYING being pregnant because most of my other friends had Terrible times when they were pregnant. It's a losing battle no matter what!
Sara- mommy to Claire (01/10) and Micah (3/12) and Corbin (10/14) and someone new (11/16)
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Old 10-05-2010, 01:40 PM   #17
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

Totally normal. It was a rare event when I actually enjoyed being pregnant. Most of the time I just tolerate it. At the end I outright hate it. There's no rule that says you have to like being pregnant. It doesn't mean you won't love your baby. I love my babies to pieces. I hate being pregnant.
Holly, Mom to 5 boys.
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Old 10-05-2010, 01:41 PM   #18
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

Hello!! I HATED being pregnant.. oh was I miserable.. the mood swings, the vomiting, the weird pooping habits, the weight gain, the diabetes with sadistic meal plan, the PAIN, the lack of sleep, the immobility... I HATED it. But, I DS. Just hang in there! You are not a bad person.. it is ROUGH!

And then once you get your LO, you are going to want to have another. Yes, it sounds crazy, but you will just LOVE you LO so much!! BTW, it is also common not to bond to your LO fully right away, sometimes it takes a few months (after your hormones mellow out). So, don't let that scare you either!

Last edited by *Peanut*; 10-05-2010 at 01:43 PM.
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Old 10-05-2010, 03:25 PM   #19
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

I HATE being pregnant, I have miserable pregnancys, and this one is the worst so far, so yes, its totally normal to not love evrey moment of it
LAUREN:**CD'ing**BFing**BWing**Kinda Crunchy** SAHM** To Sophie Dec 13 2005 and Dexter Sept 22 2008 WELCOME Abigail Dec 19th 2010
"Quiet down cobwebs..dust go to sleep.. I am nursing my baby and babies don't keep.."
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Old 10-05-2010, 03:52 PM   #20
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Re: Disliking pregnancy, and feeling guilty....

I totally have been there, too! My pregnancy was so miserable (I'll spare you the details, but similar to yours plus more), that I swore that my husband needed to get a vasectomy before the baby was born! I told all my prenatal nurses and even the nurses at the hospital while delivering that that would be my first and last child...EVER! I was so miserable and felt so bad, too, because of what you mentioned (being able to conceive and carry the baby when there are so many who never will have that blessing), but it really was so much harder than everyone had told me about their pregnancy. I thought I was the only one that even resented the baby a little for "making" me feel so terrible, and then I felt even worse. When I went to deliver the baby at the hospital, I was excited and happy, but when she came out, I didn't have an "instant love" like everyone else told me I would have towards her. That made me feel even worse! No one ever told me it might take some time to love a child (and have the warm fuzzy feelings towards them) especially if it is your own biological child. But don't worry, I ended up falling madly in love with her and she (my baby) has been the biggest blessing to me, that I literally thank God every day for her. And, something I never thought possible, we are pregnant again with our second! Although this pregnancy has been better, it is still pretty miserable and I think two children are enough for us (despite wanting several more), because I just can't take the pregnancies anymore and adoption, unfortunately isn't an option for us. So, all that to say, don't be so hard on yourself. You feel what you feel, and like the PP said, if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or the baby, please seek help, but otherwise not enough people share their true feelings of hating the pregnancy, or not being instantly in love with their child, and it makes the rest of us feel selfish and like we are already horrible mothers, but the truth is you are not, especially if you are concerned about it, that means you care. Hang in there. Hugs mama! 40 weeks takes forever, and you'll be miserable for a time, but it is so worth it (not that it's easy to believe that now)!!!!
Wife to DH since 1/07, Mom to DD1 4/10 , DD2 5/11 , and our newbie DD3 9/13

The hurt a troubled child creates is never greater than the hurt they feel inside. -T.
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