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Old 10-08-2010, 08:01 AM   #1
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Unhappy need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

I hope I am in the right spot for this. I have a friend whose husband just took off last night. I guess I just do not know what to say to her I feel terrible. I am not to great with words of wisdom in times like this. What I would like to say is not appropriate. I was hoping someone could just give me a little advice to comfort her. Thank you!

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Old 10-08-2010, 08:16 AM   #2
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Re: need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

For now, I would stick with asking what you can do to help, and be there to listen if she wants to talk. Check in on her daily, or at least more frequently than normal.
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Old 10-08-2010, 08:32 AM   #3
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Re: need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

Thank you! I will do that. =) I feel so bad for her kids too.
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Old 10-08-2010, 08:46 AM   #4
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Re: need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

I'd be really cautious about saying bad things about him at this point, only because they could reconcile, go through counseling, make their marriage stronger, etc. Let her know that you're there to support her, regardless of what decisions she may make in regards to the marriage. If this is the end of the marriage and her whole world is going to be different, then you'll be there to support her. If she and her husband decide to reconcile (which when people are in the angry stage this can seem far-fetched), you'll be there to support her and won't think less of her for it.
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Old 10-08-2010, 08:53 AM   #5
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Re: need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

Don't say anything except maybe, "I love you." Let her do the talking. Like others have said, you don't want to give your opinion one way or the other because you don't know how it's going to work out.
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:10 AM   #6
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Re: need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

I really appreciate all of the advice. Thank you! I won't say anything but words of encouragement but he just stepped out on their marriage a couple of months ago so It is so hard but it really is not my business. I will just keep listening.
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:26 AM   #7
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Re: need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

I just talked to her She Is just beside herself. She wants to work it out but he said he needs a couple weeks to think about what he wants. It is just so hard. I cant imagine everything she is going through.
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:30 AM   #8
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Re: need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

Offer to help her out with the kids, bring her a meal. And just be there to listen. Ask her if there is anything you can do. Stop by to see her frequently.

And be honest with her... "I don't have anything to to say that would make it all better. But I'm here if you need to talk, or if you need anything."

It's a tough place for her to be.

And I agree with the others.. don't say bad things to her about him. Stay out of their marital problems but there for her to talk to... if that makes sense.

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Old 10-08-2010, 09:39 AM   #9
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Re: need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

That does make sense. Thank you very much!
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:41 AM   #10
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Re: need advice for a friend whose husband left last night.

I would assure her that no matter what, she and her kids will be fine, that she is stronger than she thinks, and even if he doesnt return to the marriage, that she is a wonderful person and mother and will make it through this difficult time. If she is spiritual, you can encourage her to spend time in prayer or meditation, if something like that applies to her.
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