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Old 03-06-2007, 03:38 PM   #1
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Will I regret having only one child?

DH and I are talking about whether we want to have another child. I really want Katie to have a sibling - I am very close to mine. But I sort've feel complete as a family now. Katie is just the best, cutest thing ever.

And I don't know how we would manage two children. It's not that Katie is a difficult baby, but as you all know, even an easy child forces you to make some changes in your life. For example, this morning, I got Katie up to feed her, and I was thinking about the extra time it takes in the morning before I go to work. How do you deal with having two children to feed, if one is BFing and one's eating solids? How do you give love and attention to both?

I realize that lots of people have more than one child (even many more) but I just don't know how they do it!

So will I regret having only one child? Was it really difficult for you to go from one to two?


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Old 03-06-2007, 04:06 PM   #2
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

my mom always says that the first 2 years are the hardest but after that having more than one child is so much fun!! I knwo what you mean about balabncing more kids but I know in th elong run I will regret not having more children!! my brother and i are so close I can not even imagine life without him, he is my best friend and I want that for my son too!!
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Old 03-06-2007, 04:15 PM   #3
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

I grew up an only child (I have 3 half-brothers, but they're all 15+ yrs older than I and were out of the house by the time I was around). I desperately wanted to give my ds a sibling, but we weren't ttc. I got pregnant with ds2 when ds1 was 11mo old and they're 5 days shy of 19mo apart. I won't lie. It is hard. It is very hard. But it IS rewarding. And regarding how to do things with 2, you just figure it out on the fly. What works for some, doesn't work for you have to figure it out and see what works best for you. Maybe having 1 child is right for one can tell you if that's right or wrong. Dh is the youngest of 4 (mixed family though...his, hers, and theirs type of thing) and il's did a lot of fostering...and dh says that he wishes he would've been an only child (he can't really mean that, but they're not close at ALL and his sisters..well, 1 sister has really caused a lot of grief). But as an only child, I begged my mom every gifting holiday for a sibling. When I was old enough to understand tubal ligation, I begged for them to adopt.

Blah blah blah to say that if she's an only child, it won't be the end of the world Anyway you go, there will be (or could be) nay-sayers. I'm glad to have my 2 and although it's incredibly hard at times (I think it's moreso our personalities than their closeness in age) I really wouldn't change it even if I could.

What's better than your 1 beautiful, smart, playful, loving child? In my house, 2 beautiful, smart, playful, loving children I don't feel stretched in the love department, it's just natural You figure out how to make time for more babies..and if you haven't already mastered it, you master multi-tasking
Jenelle SAHM to Kain (01/27/04) Drake (08/22/05)
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Old 03-06-2007, 04:44 PM   #4
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

You know, I think this is one of those things that no one else can really answer for you. If it's right for your family, you won't regret it. If you always feel a longing or that something is missing, then you'll regret having just one. Only you and your husband can answer this one. Just follow your heart and do what you feel is best for your family.
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Old 03-06-2007, 04:54 PM   #5
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

My first was a really difficult baby who had health issues in the beginning and scared us to death, etc. Even when I was pg I just didn't think I could love another like I love her. Then I had her sister. It IS hard with two. It's more difficult to get things done and go places. Your older dd will probably feel jealous, and you'll feel bad that you don't have as much time to spend with just her. I am dealing with these feelings right now. BUT I wouldn't trade my 6mo for the world. She is a total delight...and they are starting to interact with each other. I never felt complete with just one, so I don't know. But I'll bet you'd regret NOT having rather than regret having one. Just my It is really an individual (couples') decision.
K, mommy to dd 9, dd 7, twinsdd & ds 4, & dd, nearly one!
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Old 03-06-2007, 05:10 PM   #6
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

I know I would have. I've got 3 and want more. Going from 1 to 2 wa the most difficult because DD #2 was difficult. Going from 2-3 was cake because DS is easy. DD#1 begged for a sib. Then, when C2 was a year I got the baby itch, again. There's 25 months between C2 and C3. I've got the itch again. It started whwn DS was 20 months. When Im past child bearing, we'll adopt.

You DD is so young, yet! You don't have to decide this now. Just wait and see. It could be months or years untill you'll want another. I just know that blood kin is always blood kin! I'd hate to think of my child being w/o sibs when I'm gone. I can't imagine missing all the love in the house now! Each one of my children is different and special and awesome! The love in my heart grows with each child. Sometimes I can't believe my heart can take any more! I feel as if it'll burst!

Do I get overwhelmed? Yes. Has everything always been easy? No way! But, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And, I can't wait for all of the grandkids to come along!
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Old 03-06-2007, 05:24 PM   #7
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

I think if you only have one, you'll have moments that you regret it. If you have more than one, you'll still have those moments. I would suggest not doing anything permanent (vasectomy or tubal ligation) until you're sure of what you want. Over time, your hearts will tell you what is the right decision.
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Old 03-06-2007, 05:55 PM   #8
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

you do what i did and you wait till dc1 is 4 to have the next one. then it is pretty much a piece of cake!!

don't have another one unless your heart tells you it is time. don't let anything else dictate!
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Old 03-06-2007, 11:10 PM   #9
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

This isn't an answer to your question, because only you and DH can answer that. BUT, I was so worried that there was no way I could love another child as much as I do my first - it seemed impossible, and almost unfair. I have found that for family there's a bottom-less well of love. And siblings LOVE eachother (even when they fight )
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Old 03-06-2007, 11:17 PM   #10
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Re: Will I regret having only one child?

I agree with alot of the other posters! With that being said I just have to let you now that for me it was ultimately God's decision for us. He blessed us with Jonathan (the only grandson to pass on the sicilian name) to raise, but he took 2 angels up there cause I guess he needed them more than us. Now I cannot have anymore and if I do, it would totally be a miracle. I would definately name that baby if a girl Miracle Marie.
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