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Old 10-13-2010, 10:37 AM   #1
Liadan23
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? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

hey everyone,
i don't post much on DS, but now that i've found this section of the forum, i think i probably will be! my son is 12 months old, so i know he's not a newborn, but he's still awfully young compared to a lot of kids who are PT'ing, so i think this would be the best place to post? tell me if not.

i remember reading about EC before he was born, and thought it was cool, but since i worked full time, figured it wasn't for me. he has been CD'ed this whole time though. but, now, at least for the next few months, my husband is staying home with him. And, while it had occurred to me that maybe it would be nice to start potty training ds early, i never thought dh would go for it. but then, completely out of the blue earlier this week he goes "what do you think about getting a potty for dylan (ds) and i know it's early, but we'll just take it easy, and while i'm home with him i can start training him" i knew i married him for a reason

so anyways, i read through a bunch of stuff on here the last few days, and told my dh about it all, and we're psyched to start! we don't have an actual potty for him yet, we'll probably get around to one this weekend, but meanwhile i can't wait! so i've started trying to hold him like an infant over the toilet to see if i can get him to go. and so far, i've been pretty right about my assumption that he has to go. but he just thinks this is a new game mommy is playing. giggles the whole time i'm holding him over the toilet. and then pees on the floor as soon as my arms and legs can't take it anymore and i put him down multiple times, this exact thing has happened. so i know that i'm on the right track with the timing, but he just doesn't "get" that he's supposed to go, so he holds it until the "fun" is over. how do i teach him that? i'm assuming i'll have the same issue once we get a real potty too. he'll think it's an awesome toy and love sitting on it, but then move off somewhere else to "do his business" cause he doesn't get that that's what it's for. i mean, i think we have potential. he's constantly crawling in the bathroom and standing at the toilet and trying to get my attention now. but i think he just wants me to play i know it's a process and we're literally like 2 days in, and i don't expect immediate results, i just want to make sure i'm going about this the right way. cause how am i supposed to begin teaching him that it goes in the toilet if we never "catch" one, and he's not old enough to understand an explanation of "we pee pee in the potty now"? thanks in advance for any help!

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Old 10-13-2010, 06:04 PM   #2
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

you are off to an amazing start - seriously. Now when he pees on the floor right after you take him - make a sound! PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS like peeing! dont' worry that it missed the toilet, just keep making the same sound every time you see him go. Then after a while of really engraining that CUE - do exactly as you're doing now and CUE him, and I'll bet he'll go.

Cues are your best friend. It's your mode of communication!

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Old 10-14-2010, 04:06 PM   #3
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

thanks for your response! i'm actually really getting into this. it's kinda cool trying to figure out when he wants to go i'm definitely going to start this earlier when we have another baby.

i will keep the cue thing in mind and remember to keep doing it. i actually caught one last night after dinner! but it freaked him out and he started crying i'm not really sure why it upset him so much, i guess it was just a weird feeling coupled by the weird sound of it landing in the toilet? we praised and clapped and he cheered up though. anyways, we'll just keep giving him opportunities and try to be consistent and i'm sure he'll eventually get the idea.
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Old 10-14-2010, 07:09 PM   #4
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

Lol poor little guy. Just wait until he passes gas while on the toilet and it echoes, lol.

But yay for a catch! And yep like Sakari said, cue cue cue. My DS is 12 months and we've been ECing since 6 weeks and I totally can't tell at ALL when he needs to go, so I've just been doing timing with him, and for the first maybe 2 months or so, it was mostly in the diaper but I kept cuing when I noticed the pee, and he started to know what I was talking about. This one time, he wouldn't go in the available potty, and so I put him back on the changing table and just laid his diaper over him (b/c it had been a while and I was pretty sure he needed to go), and I cued him to go in the diaper, and he did, lol. Then I took it right off and put a fresh one on and we were good to go.
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Old 10-14-2010, 08:06 PM   #5
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

Totally agree with the cuing! And talk talk talk too. At 12 months he can probably understand a lot of things you are telling him too so just keep telling him and talking about what is happening. My daughter is about to turn 12 months and it's clear she totally understands the words pee, poo and toilet.

That's so neat that your husband brought it up all on his own!
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Old 10-15-2010, 06:06 AM   #6
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

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Originally Posted by Liadan23 View Post
thanks for your response! i'm actually really getting into this. it's kinda cool trying to figure out when he wants to go i'm definitely going to start this earlier when we have another baby.

i will keep the cue thing in mind and remember to keep doing it. i actually caught one last night after dinner! but it freaked him out and he started crying i'm not really sure why it upset him so much, i guess it was just a weird feeling coupled by the weird sound of it landing in the toilet? we praised and clapped and he cheered up though. anyways, we'll just keep giving him opportunities and try to be consistent and i'm sure he'll eventually get the idea.
Yay! 12 months is a great time to start because he can understand so much more. Definately talk about it, model going on the potty and celebrate when you peepee, and offer him lots of opportunities when it's convenient.
Have you tried some nekked time yet? Even if you have a bunch of misses, you'll have lots of chances to cue him! EC is great. Welcome!

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Lol poor little guy. Just wait until he passes gas while on the toilet and it echoes, lol.

But yay for a catch! And yep like Sakari said, cue cue cue. My DS is 12 months and we've been ECing since 6 weeks and I totally can't tell at ALL when he needs to go, so I've just been doing timing with him, and for the first maybe 2 months or so, it was mostly in the diaper but I kept cuing when I noticed the pee, and he started to know what I was talking about. This one time, he wouldn't go in the available potty, and so I put him back on the changing table and just laid his diaper over him (b/c it had been a while and I was pretty sure he needed to go), and I cued him to go in the diaper, and he did, lol. Then I took it right off and put a fresh one on and we were good to go.
Harmony, your son is a year old already?!? Wow! Time flies when you're insanely busy! Are you still doing timing, or is he starting to let you know when he has to go? You may want to brace yourself for a big potty pause- we hit one right about 13 months, and it lasted a looong time. Learning to walk, and being able to jump off the little potty, halted everything for a while.
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Old 10-15-2010, 09:32 AM   #7
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

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Harmony, your son is a year old already?!? Wow! Time flies when you're insanely busy! Are you still doing timing, or is he starting to let you know when he has to go? You may want to brace yourself for a big potty pause- we hit one right about 13 months, and it lasted a looong time. Learning to walk, and being able to jump off the little potty, halted everything for a while.
Yep, he was 12 months this past Sunday. We are still doing timing. I think he'll be 5 and 6 and I'll still have to be reminding him to go, LOL. I'm probably half-and-half with catches right now, maybe leaning slightly towards more catches than misses, so any pause that comes my way will just mean some extra laundry. And he's not on the small potty (although I did bring that out again the other day just to see if he'd like it better, lol). I sit him right on the big potty, no seat adapter or anything, and I hold him and he goes within a few seconds if he has to, or he just looks around and does nothing if he doesn't have to. At this point, I am hoping that a pause is NOT "inevitable" but if one happens, I'll just take it in stride.
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Old 10-15-2010, 10:09 AM   #8
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

thanks for all the encouragement and tips guys! i've definitely been trying to talk to him about it. i can tell he understands a lot more than i realize, so i'm sure he'll get it eventually. i was even thinking instead of the "psss" sound i could just say something like "go potty" or something like that for his cue. would that work? or is just a non-word sound better for some reason?

i do try to do some naked time with him before bed at night. i'm not home during the day, and he always poops right after he gets up in the morning, so i don't feel confident enough to leave the diaper off and catch it in the mornings, since we've already had one incident of poop smeared all over the carpet, and mornings are just too crazy for me to keep trying to get him to go i can't get my husband on-board with the holding him over the toilet thing, he wants to wait until we buy him a potty, and he's really scared of naked time (hubby not baby, baby loves naked time and cries everytime his diaper goes back on ), so i'm not sure how that's going to work. but i think once we get a potty he'll at least start giving him opportunities to sit on it during the day, and that's really all i ask. so, for right now, i'm just giving him opportunities in the mornings and evenings when i'm home. and we'll buy a potty this weekend

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Old 10-15-2010, 10:24 AM   #9
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

Saying "go potty" would work just fine. Whatever sound or word you pick for the cue, just make sure to use it every time and he'll come to learn what it means. Because after all, words are just sounds, too, right?

Also, you don't necessarily have to "hold" him over the potty. I sit DS on our big toilet (w/o a seat adapter, so I do still have to balance him there w/ my hands on his torso) and he does just fine. So that could be something you could try to give your arms a rest. And then you could skip the middle man of the small potty, which then has to be dumped and wiped every time, lol. (Plus I don't know if your DS is like mine, but he's not really into sitting on a potty, lol... he wants to crawl around and see what he can see.)
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Old 10-15-2010, 10:30 AM   #10
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

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Also, you don't necessarily have to "hold" him over the potty. I sit DS on our big toilet (w/o a seat adapter, so I do still have to balance him there w/ my hands on his torso) and he does just fine. So that could be something you could try to give your arms a rest. And then you could skip the middle man of the small potty, which then has to be dumped and wiped every time, lol. (Plus I don't know if your DS is like mine, but he's not really into sitting on a potty, lol... he wants to crawl around and see what he can see.)
haha yes, i have a feel my ds will be the same! he will not put up with sitting the small potty, it'll just be a game. and i WAS thinking of just skipping the small potty altogether, but dh is insistent, and he's the one that's home all day, so i guess if he wants to be cleaning it, that's his problem....

and, i guess i could just sit him on it. i've tried a couple times, but he's so little that in order to get his little tush far enough back so that if he goes it will actually go IN the toilet, he actually kinda falls in and is just hanging there, so i have to support him anyways, kwim? is there a better way to do it? i may lobby for one of those inserts that you can install right on the toilet, and it might fix that problem, i don't know how dh will feel about it, but we'll see.

also, now that we've been doing this a few days, i'm wondering, maybe it would help to have the small potty right there in the living room when he's playing, so that if we notice him having/starting to go we can get him on there quickly, instead of having to pick him up and run to the bathroom? i'm just not sure about this.
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