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Old 10-15-2010, 11:13 AM   #11
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

I would suggest an insert seat if it would help you and DH bridge the gap as to where DS is supposed to be, lol. But a separate potty IS also a good idea to have in the play area. We never did that b/c we live in an itty bitty apartment and it takes me about 20 steps to walk from one corner in the living room to the far corner of the backmost closet, lol.

For sitting DS on the potty, what I do is sort of put him so that almost his knees are on the seat, instead of the center of his thighs. Then I sort of lean him forward so his weight is balanced on his thighs/knees, and that leaning-forward position helps with the angle, too. I can try to take a picture in a bit.

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Old 10-15-2010, 02:40 PM   #12
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

We use the toilet, too and have the majority of the time. Anyway, DD's favorite way to sit on it now is sideways. I think it fits her better or something! and she likes holding on to the handicap railings in public restrooms - or just leaning against the stall wall.

definitely have a potty in the playroom! The easier - the better!

"go potty" would work for a cue. My reason for preffering a sound is that it's easier to be consistent. If you say, "go potty" are you going to say that alllll the time? "go potty" and "you're going potty" and "you're peeing" "do you need to poop?" all sound so different, ya know? When are you going to say what? and it's hard to make sure it's the same. at least it was for me. But pssssssssssssss was easy! When I wanted her to pee or poo, I said psssssssssss. OR to get that ball rolling, I could say the same sound when she WAS going (in her diaper, on the changing table, whatever!) But if you use words, it's "now you're peeing!" or "please try to pee" See how many variations there are? psssssssssssssss is a constant.

Now - I'm not always right - and I'm not saying to use a sound INSTEAD of talking! But there is still validity to using the sound even when a child is "older". JMHO.

GL!


~~*~~
eta: one more thing. About praise. The more you praise your LO for doing a normal bodily function (regardless of the location) the more you make the whole "getting it in the right place" about you. The parent. If we can still communicate - or even give Specific feedback - just about What is happening, rather that doing the over-the-top happy dance when pee goes in the potty - the LESS Potty Pauses will happen.

The thing is, peeing and pooping is normal. and getting it in the toilet isn't that big of a deal. Your child can do it! Without a ton of effort! It's just new right now. So if we treat using the toilet as normal - they'll think of it as normal and have no reason NOT to use it. Adults use a toilet because THEY WANT TO. If we teach our children to use it for the same reasons - and not because WE want them to - we're setting them up for a self-fulfilling experience. They are in control and they are doing it because they want to. Not to please a parent. They won't ever have to test the waters and see what happens when they don't use the toilet - because we won't react. It's no big deal. It's the child's choice!

This is what I don't understand about the whole m&m's potty training method - it's bribing the kids to do something for the parent. It's not teaching (or training) the child why they should want to use it! Or like to use it! It's just a bribe to get the kid to go along with the parent's agenda. If we clap and dance and give treats for a normal bodily function one day - why don't we the next? Now they've "outgrown" it? That's not fair! Why do kids "outgrow" the need for treats, anyway? Is it perhaps because they've learned that they actually want to be clean and dry and have more time to play? Could be! So if we start there - aren't we ahead of the game? And helping our children help themselves? Rather than go along with our game just to see how big we can dance?

OK. Off my soapbox. I really hope that wasn't offensive!
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Old 10-18-2010, 01:19 PM   #13
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

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Originally Posted by Sakari View Post
My reason for preffering a sound is that it's easier to be consistent. If you say, "go potty" are you going to say that alllll the time? "go potty" and "you're going potty" and "you're peeing" "do you need to poop?" all sound so different, ya know?

eta: one more thing. About praise. The more you praise your LO for doing a normal bodily function (regardless of the location) the more you make the whole "getting it in the right place" about you.
haha it's funny that you said that about sound thing, i actually came to my own conclusion about that this weekend. i'm still debating, and dh thinks the "pssss" thing is crazy, but i think i can harass him into doing it . we did get a potty this weekend, but you can remove the seat and set it on the toilet too, so that way, we figured, best of both worlds. and now dh is all about it, he just wanted the potty. although some of the more "ec" specific stuff, like the "psss" he's not sure about. but we'll find our way

as for the second part of your post that i quoted, you make a very interesting point. don't worry, i'm not offended at all. i really never thought about it that way, it's an interesting way of looking at it. it has given me something to think about. i guess, my thought process was, since he's older, he doesn't really care anymore if he dirties himself you know? so somehow we have to make it a good thing when he goes on the potty. although i agree, the whole bribing with m&m's type of thing has always kind of rubbed me wrong, which i guess is what kind of drew me to ec in the first place. so, how then, do you react when they actually go like you want them to? i've still only ever caught that 1 pee, and i still think he's holding it cause he doesn't know what to do, or is waiting until i'm done doing whatever it is i'm making him do, so i'm not sure how to make it a good thing unless i get him really excited about going on the potty so that he wants to go again. so i guess, i agree with you wholeheartedly about teaching him to do it for himself and not for me, but how do i teach him that this is what he wants? will it just come over time?
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Old 10-18-2010, 02:04 PM   #14
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

I think the cues are still really good too even for older babies and I still use them all the time for my almost 12 month old. The only thing is, for us, my daughter gets annoyed by "psss" sometimes. So I use other cues also. And some of them are simply "pee pee pee pee pee" and "poo poo poo poo poo". She completely understands. You can also try teaching your son the sign for potty.

I think it's fine to make pottying fun, which is a lot different than bribing or praise. And how to react... well, just like it's normal. I agree with Sakari on the praise thing. When my LO's use the potty/toilet I now either say nothing or just say "You peed/pooped! That's where you should pee so you don't have to be wet!" or "There you go, don't you feel better?" or something like that.
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Old 10-18-2010, 02:37 PM   #15
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

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haha it's funny that you said that about sound thing, i actually came to my own conclusion about that this weekend. i'm still debating, and dh thinks the "pssss" thing is crazy, but i think i can harass him into doing it . we did get a potty this weekend, but you can remove the seat and set it on the toilet too, so that way, we figured, best of both worlds. and now dh is all about it, he just wanted the potty. although some of the more "ec" specific stuff, like the "psss" he's not sure about. but we'll find our way

as for the second part of your post that i quoted, you make a very interesting point. don't worry, i'm not offended at all. i really never thought about it that way, it's an interesting way of looking at it. it has given me something to think about. i guess, my thought process was, since he's older, he doesn't really care anymore if he dirties himself you know? so somehow we have to make it a good thing when he goes on the potty. although i agree, the whole bribing with m&m's type of thing has always kind of rubbed me wrong, which i guess is what kind of drew me to ec in the first place. so, how then, do you react when they actually go like you want them to? i've still only ever caught that 1 pee, and i still think he's holding it cause he doesn't know what to do, or is waiting until i'm done doing whatever it is i'm making him do, so i'm not sure how to make it a good thing unless i get him really excited about going on the potty so that he wants to go again. so i guess, i agree with you wholeheartedly about teaching him to do it for himself and not for me, but how do i teach him that this is what he wants? will it just come over time?
That's cute that your DH was so into the potty Whatever it takes, right?! Would he ind saying pee pee pee (like Mel suggested?) or just "peeeeeeeeeeeeeee" anything that can be consistent will work!


Yeah, ditto to everything Mel said. Making the potty time fun can mean singing songs, reading books, tickling toes, having a special "potty only" toy or toys, etc. Then when they go, I say "oh doesn't that feel good?" or "That must feel so much better to go in the potty - now your clothes won't get wet!" It can still be happy and excited, but your reasons are for them instead of just a generic "Yay!! you peed on the potty! Mommy's so happy for you! You're such a big boy!" All that may be true - but the emphasis is off. ya know? Rather, channel that enthusiasm and excitement into more specific feedback and questions so that they can evaluate it themselves and find their own reaction to the experience - not just using yours.

"Oh! You peed! How does that feel?"
"Do you like using the toilet since it keeps you clean and dry?"
"Now that you peed we can get right back to that puzzle!"
"It's so much more comfortable for you to pee in the potty, isn't it? and faster! Are you ready to get back to playing?"

Those are just some ideas. You'll figure out your own favorite phrases oh, and I totally agree also on using sign language!

Have fun!
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Old 11-17-2010, 08:55 AM   #16
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Re: ? about starting with an older baby (12 months)

I am still working on this proccess with DS so I'm no expert by any means but here's my opinion on the cueing with sounds/words...

Words or a phrase work just as well as the psssss sound for cueing but you should make sure you pick a word or phrase that you will only use during peeing/pooping so as not to confuse DS or like I heard from one mama that she made the mistake of saying to her LO while running to the potty "you need to go ..." (whatever her cue words were) and accidentally cued her baby to go before they reached the potty and she got peed on...lol

So just make sure to avoid confusion and accidents..lol...if you choose to use a word or phrase pick one that you will not accidentally use casually and that you will only use when you are cueing him.

And I agree with not making such a huge deal with the catches like screaming and clapping and dancing. While they enjoy the big deal you make I think they get disappointed too when they don't make it to the potty or don't go while on the potty and then you don't do the happy potty dance for them. I agree with the other moms about saying things like "it's good to put our pee pee in the potty", "Mommy and Daddy put their pee pee in the potty too", "peeing in the potty keeps us clean"...you get the idea. Whatever is encouraging and affirming but not dramaticly over reacting. Good luck mama. Keep us posted
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