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Old 10-16-2010, 10:30 PM   #1
mamma mia
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I just started home-schooling my daughter this year and we both have been loving it.
I was a little discouraged when I was told that they felt that people who home-school did so just because they couldn't let go of their children. What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever been discouraged about your decision to home-school because of comments from others?

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Old 10-16-2010, 11:27 PM   #2
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Re: Ever been discouraged because of others comments?

I try not to let it bother me. I've been told I have defiance/authority issues though. Often if some one tells me I shouldn't or can't do something that just makes me all the more determined to do it. Of course I don't want to let my kids go, their my kids. Why should I want to send something so precious off to some one else for 8 hours a day? How can I trust a school to do what is right by my kids. And with all that is going wrong in schools today I feel very justified in my concerns. Maybe I am a worrier but with so many children being bullied so severely and so many children falling through the cracks I want to do the best for my kids while I can. If that means keeping them closer now then so be it. I know it is easier said than done but all you can do is try not to let it get to you. I have been lucky enough to get some really great feed back from supporters too. My MIL always tells me how wonderful she thinks it is that I stay home with the boys and have chosen to home school. I know part of it is just being nice, it's the kind of person she is. But even though she is a teacher I know she means it. She wanted to be a SAHM but she had to work because FIL became very ill when dh was young and had to go on disability. She had to return to working. Even though she worked at the school dh went to and she was with him most of the day she still felt bad about it. She is very supportive that way. I also have an acquaintance I met recently through another friend who was home schooled and spent an entire evening telling me how wonderful he thought it was that I was committing myself to homeschooling my kids. If you can hang on to the positives the negatives don't hit as hard. Your dd is loving it, that is what is important. Kearnan recently told a waitress that he thought I was great. It made me really proud. It's totally worth it.
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Old 10-16-2010, 11:58 PM   #3
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Re: Ever been discouraged because of others comments?

Well...comments like that roll right off my back. What discourages me, is when my DH shadows me with doubt, or says unsupportive things to me when DS and I are having a bad day. Occasionally he'll come down on me about something he feels DS should know, or be able to do at his age. He doesn't take into consideration everything else DS does know, and can do. Also, when my MIL praises me about what a great job I'm doing with DS, then in the same breath tells me that it REALLY bothers her that her grandkids are homeschooled.
At the end of the day, the sun is glowing on my face. My son is a great reader, he a whiz at math, he LOVES science. He's an athlete, he's an actor, and he's a darn good video game player He didn't learn these things all on his own.
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Old 10-17-2010, 07:57 PM   #4
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Re: Ever been discouraged because of others comments?

So nice of you ladies to share your experiences with me. I will remember to try to focus on the good comments I get about HSing and let the negative ones roll off my back.
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Old 10-17-2010, 08:34 PM   #5
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Re: Ever been discouraged because of others comments?

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Originally Posted by iris0110 View Post
And with all that is going wrong in schools today I feel very justified in my concerns. Maybe I am a worrier but with so many children being bullied so severely and so many children falling through the cracks I want to do the best for my kids while I can.
This is why I am considering homeschooling... We just had a high school shooting about 2 miles from our house (Socastee High School, Myrtle Beach, SC), and I know its years away, but I am scared to death of something like that happening to my babies.

Plus, while this may not be as *big* of a deal, my DH and I are both redheads, and we both got teased for the color of our hair. DH responded differently than me, and ended up getting into a lot of trouble as a teen. I internalized and had low self esteem for years. I would hate for my babies to be teased just because they are redheads

OP-You are the only person who knows whats best for your babies, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
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Old 10-18-2010, 05:45 AM   #6
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Re: Ever been discouraged because of others comments?

Op, a comment like that would generate from be a great big, "WELL YEA! Would you hand over your money to someone like that? I didn't think so. Well my kids are worth more than your money, and I am not handing them over to anyone!"

Some people just don't get it.


I don't know how many of you are old enough to remember June Cleaver (or if they are playing the reruns of Leave it to Beaver now). But Barbara Billingsly just died at 94 years old. She was a wonderful role model back when there were good shows with morals. Before she died she was asked what she thought about the modern family. Her answer was something to the effect of she was sad to see how so many are breaking up and that moms need to say home with their babies. I truly think she would also support hsing.
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Old 10-24-2010, 01:27 PM   #7
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Re: Ever been discouraged because of others comments?

don't let others comments like that discourage you. people get so upset when you say you homeschool. i have gotten to the point where i just roll my eyes and move on. i almost let my dd stay in ps because of anti homeschool comments and let me tell you that would have been the mistake. i let my dd suffer through a year for k in ps. behind anti hs comments and cried at the end. i found out the hard way yes many children are falling through the cracks and bullies go unmonitored. my dd had night terrors behind ps and i finally drew the line. funny thing is people still supported the ps system and told me she needed more time to adjust. it's just that is the norm and people don't like when you go against it. homeschool is like everything else in life it's not for everyone but if it works for you stick with it.
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Old 10-25-2010, 08:45 AM   #8
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Re: Ever been discouraged because of others comments?

I would say the same thing everyone else here has said, don't let it bother you! I grew up homeschooled, and I still remember going to my dad's family to visit always felt like a big deal because they did not approve of my parent's decision to homeschool, and they would get into long discussions about it. (especially my grandparents, both of whom were teachers). They accused my mother of keeping us "tied to her apron strings" etc.

In the end, when I graduated from Junior College with an Associates degree at 18 my grandfather actually apologized to my father for all of the grief over the years. It is natural for humans to be afraid of what they don't understand, and for most people that's homeschooling.

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Old 10-25-2010, 01:52 PM   #9
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YES! I have been discouraged, but then I think of all the benefits that I received because my parents chose to homeschool me. And then I focus on all the wonderful new ways it is benefitting our family and our children now that my husband and I are homeschooling! It is hard though, we do not have support with many family members. I have been accused of being controlling and of pushing my children to much. But they are happy, well mannered, well adjusted kids. I AM the one who knows my children best. After all, as a mother, that is our jobs. Only you know what is best for your children. We have one chance to raise our kids right, I will not let others change what my heart it telling me, neither should you! Good luck with your homeschooling!
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:42 AM   #10
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Re: Ever been discouraged because of others comments?

I try to just roll my eyes and let it go....the people who actually have the nerve to say something have no idea about it. The more ignorant the person about homeschooling, the more defencive they are.

I do get tired though....I was hs all the way through school and I hold a university degree, had a successfull career before having my kids, and don't have any anti-social behaviors! 25 years ago you were ostricized for hsing, and I feel like the same exists now. *sigh*. It's allways an uphill battle.... BUT, I'm doing what is best for my children.
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