Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-01-2010, 07:52 AM   #1
howmanykids's Avatar
howmanykids
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: farm country Indiana
Posts: 929
My Mood:
Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

I know I'm being silly, but I just can't shake it. I missed the end of the pregnancy.. I feel like a complete louse for even admitting this wehn i should just be thankful that my babe is here and safe and healthy (and I AM!) I just missed the excitement, the last "birth day" pic, the first pic of holding her in my arms, dh getting to hold her..i was just terrified for her safety so much that I just didn't want her to come, but she was there, and then they wouldn't let me touch her while they were cutting the cord, I just feel really ...i don't know....just upset, disappointed, i guess. I was really looking forward to labor again..dh and i working as a team, greeting our little one. Instead, I labored with strangers in the back of a bumpy ambulance ride (from 4 to 9.5 cm in a 45 min. drive). I also am having a hard time not getting the "adjustment time" by rooming in ...just the three of us bonding before going home. Instead, we were staying in a ronald mcdonald house while she was in NICU, and then dh had to go back to work.

Any one else feel this way after your LO? Maggie Jo is a month old now, and I still miss being pregnant...feeling her move, and all of that.

sorry this is so unorganized....once I started, it just all came out

Advertisement

__________________

Katie, Wife to my WONDERFUL Hubby, Roger, (7/01/06) SAHM to Christopher (7/25/07) and to Patrick (3/3/09), and Little Miss Maggie Jo (10/3/2010)
howmanykids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2010, 11:33 AM   #2
LunaBirch's Avatar
LunaBirch
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,956
My Mood:
Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

It's normal I think to feel cheated when you deliver prematurely. I have 4 beautiful children, yet I have never carried beyond 35 weeks. I too feel sad over never being able to experience those last weeks of pregnancy, or having a normal low risk delivery. My 35 weeker is the ONLY baby I ever was able to hold right away, and room in with (but do to a partial abruption the labor wasn't what i hoped it to be). My other 3 were NICU babies, and I never even got to hold them before they were whisked away to NICU.. and I had to leave empty handed with all 3.

I never had that anticipation and excitement you feel at 9 months pregnant.. instead I had fear and extended hospital stays doped up on preterm labor drugs.

I could go on for many more paragraphs, but I'll stop now. I just want you to know your not alone.
LunaBirch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2010, 01:16 PM   #3
ralenth's Avatar
ralenth
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,384
Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

You know, I think it is totally normal. My preemie is going to be turning 9 in December, and I still get emotional when I think about what I missed out on with his labor and delivery (and the weeks following). I've had 2 kids since then, and I still feel cheated. I am grateful for how well he did, and is doing, and incredibly grateful that he was (and is) as healthy as he is, but I still feel like I missed out. Those first few moments (as well as the last few weeks of pregnancy) is something that you can't get back.

My sister also delivered her first baby prematurely. When she called me to tell me her water broke - I burst into tears. I still feel guilty over that, but I knew the road she'd be going down... and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
__________________
Sarah, Mom to 3 great kids
ralenth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-01-2010, 01:46 PM   #4
natmarie6's Avatar
natmarie6
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 813
My Mood:
Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SativaStarr View Post
I never had that anticipation and excitement you feel at 9 months pregnant.. instead I had fear and extended hospital stays doped up on preterm labor drugs.

I could go on for many more paragraphs, but I'll stop now. I just want you to know your not alone.


I think it's normal, and may get better as time goes on. I do feel sad when I think about how exciting those last couple of months were the first time, that I missed out on the second time. Also, when I talk to friends that went full term and got to have the *normal* L&D (My first wasn't quite normal either, but full term). I like to think of it as my special birth story that I will someday share with DD, and hope she appreciates.
__________________
N~ in love with M and mama to K(5/05) and L(6/10)
Swagbucks!
natmarie6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2010, 08:32 AM   #5
howmanykids's Avatar
howmanykids
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: farm country Indiana
Posts: 929
My Mood:
Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

Nice to know i'm not alone...i'll have to try to do what you did, natalie..just think of it as a specal birth story..its hard right now..e.veryone in my due date forum on ds is just now hitting 37 weeks.
__________________

Katie, Wife to my WONDERFUL Hubby, Roger, (7/01/06) SAHM to Christopher (7/25/07) and to Patrick (3/3/09), and Little Miss Maggie Jo (10/3/2010)
howmanykids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2010, 12:11 PM   #6
ralenth's Avatar
ralenth
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,384
Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by howmanykids View Post
Nice to know i'm not alone...i'll have to try to do what you did, natalie..just think of it as a specal birth story..its hard right now..e.veryone in my due date forum on ds is just now hitting 37 weeks.
You know, it does get easier as they get bigger. And it is a special birth story. My preemie turns 9 in a month (hard to believe!), and he gets a kick out of hearing how little he was, and the unique way he got here. We tell him he was just as impatient then as he is now - he just couldn't wait!
__________________
Sarah, Mom to 3 great kids
ralenth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-02-2010, 12:21 PM   #7
SueBee23's Avatar
SueBee23
Registered Users
Formerly: Lucasmomma
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 140
My Mood:
Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

I totally understand..I get sad when I think of being the last member of our family to "meet" our LO (I was recovering from emergency CS and he was in NICU). It has definatly gotten a little easier, but I think I was always have a twinge of heartbreak when i think of the birth i had "planned"...My remedy is to pick him up and snuggle him in my arms and feel such gratitude for the doctors, nurses and EVERY other factor that was there to get him safely in my arms.
ALso, don't watch those birth story shows on TV, they will only make you cry (well they did for me!)
__________________
Sorta Crunchy mom to 2'd,BF'd,famliy bedded fully intact, selectivly vaxed big boys, who finally found the man of her dreams(8/8/08)and is now a momma again to baby Lucawho came(10/9/09) to complete her family
SueBee23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2010, 02:53 PM   #8
melilo's Avatar
melilo
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 680
My Mood:
Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

I do feel sad about this too. I see women who must be 9 months and I think I never got that big... I didn't go over births plans with my doctor, or anything. I had nothing ready for him.

But at the same time, I had one less month of back pain and limited mobility. Silver lining.
__________________
The world would be so boring if everyone were the same...

Rubber City Doula You Deserve A Doula!
DONA Trained Birth Doula
melilo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2010, 06:46 PM   #9
Little Miss Kate's Avatar
Little Miss Kate
Registered Users
Formerly: JAMs Wife
seller
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 367
Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

Totally understand... I was talking to a friend last week who is 35 weeks, and it was a little weird because that stage of pregnancy is unknown to me. I am very happy to have a super healthy little boy. But I do miss that I didn't get more time with him "inside"
__________________
Mama to my 32 weeker A (7/10) - CD, BF, baby wearing, breastmilk donor

My BLOG - Check out the Giveaways going on now!!!
Little Miss Kate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2010, 08:46 PM   #10
CDNMommyofmany's Avatar
CDNMommyofmany
Registered Users
Formerly: CDN Mama of 4_08
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,546
Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

I COMPLETELY understand! I feel the exact same way, I have 5 children and only 2 were full term. My last 2 babies were born at 33 weeks and 29 weeks...a total of 18 weeks, or 4.5 months of missed pregnancy! With my last baby, my milk didn't even come in, I was unable to pump anything the poor lactation consultant felt so bad for me she didn't even charge the $50 for the pump rental I still feel cheated on missing that much pregnancy. We haven't decided for sure yet if we will try again, but I almost feel determined to prove to myself that I can have another full term pregnancy, experience breastfeeding again, bring the baby home with me-all those things I couldnt' do with my preemies...
__________________
Proud Stay-at-home-mama to 6 (including 4 preemies 29-35 weeks); who enjoys reading, homeschooling/unschooling and trying to make everyday as stress-free as possible for my 2 precious sons with Autism
CDNMommyofmany is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.