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Old 03-08-2011, 08:33 AM   #21
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Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

Totally feel you on this. Wish I'd been here when you posted, my LO was born on 10/11/10 at 29w5d. 52 days in the NICU and I felt EVERYTHING you posted about. The worst was the day I realized I'd forgotten what it felt like to have him inside. I missed him being with me all the time soooo much.

We were in the middle of Bradley childbirth classes, had everything planned out. Just the night before, I'd come up with the shortlist of names and posted it on the refrigerator. (that was the deal, I was to come up with the shortlist, and we would pick from there)

And yes you do feel guilty, because you are supposed to be just happy that the baby is alive and healthy. We lost our first at 16 weeks due to premature labor also, so I was actually able to feel some of the relief that Brian was still with us, when our Elizabeth went straight to heaven.

Hugs.

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Old 03-19-2011, 06:23 AM   #22
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Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

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Old 03-19-2011, 06:23 AM   #23
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Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

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Old 03-26-2011, 09:30 PM   #24
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Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

Well mamas you really hit something here for me. At first I really didn't feel too sad about not reaching 40 weeks because my pregnancy was so scary and I almost lost my son a few times before that. I was truly greatful for a long time to just reach my 35 weeks. I really just was happy to have a healthy baby. Lately though I have felt a lot more emotional about not being able to hold my son right away. I desperately wanted to just hold him but they took him away so fast I barely got to see him. Than when they took me down to hold him after I was all cleaned up and everything I did get to hold him for a minute but I did get to really feel the moment because it was really dark, he was all wrapped up and I could only see his face and all I could see where tubes and IV's and stuff. Also they had just given me some pain meds that kind of make it hard to even remember exactly what it was like. I really dont even have a clear memory of what he looked like when I held him the first time. I remember seeing his face and quickly touching his head after his birth but that is all. When I went to see him the next morning I really got a chance to hold him and take him in the way I wanted to more but I missed so much and it was hard to spend those first few bonding days in NICU with nurses watching every moment. I keep telling myself I was lucky we made it so far and only spent 5 days in the NICU but I still feel sad over the whole thing

All of this was after losing my first son at 21 weeks which is probably why I was more able to just be grateful to have a healthy baby. After that loss a 35 weeker seemed much easier.
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Old 03-28-2011, 06:47 PM   #25
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Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

I too am just grateful for a baby who is alive. I lost my first at 22 weeks, and when little #6 was born I was told I had a 50% chance to waking up to a baby. I could not be more thankful for the team who brought my tiny guy back to life after he coded and was born lifeless. I am a little sad about missing my entire 3rd trimester, but mostly just happy to have a baby who is alive.
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Old 03-31-2011, 02:19 PM   #26
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Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

I'm so there with you. A few days ago, I was looking at my CS scar and said to DH that I kinda felt like I didn't really "give birth" - more like I had emergency surgery and, oh yeah, a few months later I got to take some babies home.

*hugs*
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Old 06-21-2011, 10:45 AM   #27
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Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

I can completely relate. I haven't had a pregnancy last more than 36 weeks. I am incredibley grateful that my children are healthy and alive. But I'm still in mourning for the end of pregnancy. Sometimes I still catch myself thinking "I'm so pregnant!".

Oddly, my first son was 2 months early and I don't remember mourning the loss of pregnancy. I wanted to experience a full 40 weeks of pregnancy (I still do), but with my second son (36 weeks) my feelings have been much more intense.
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Old 06-26-2011, 02:10 PM   #28
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Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ky-Momma View Post
I think it's natural to feel sad that you missed out on the end of your pregnancy...

... what sucks is being stuck in a hospital while your baby is rushed hours away. What SUCKS is walking out of maternity ward empty handed. There are so many things that to me suck much worse than being huge, uncomfortable and beyond ready for your baby to get here...

So, I think it's totally understandable to feel sad that you missed out on something. Hang in there mama!!

Wow, this thread really hit home for me. Yes, I am more than grateful that my LO is thriving; at 16 months you'd never know she was a preemie to look at her now. But I was so looking forward to holding her right after she was born, putting her to my breast ... It was horrible, leaving the hospital empty-handed ... that unsettled feeling of leaving her behind in the NICU ... we had a not-so-great BF experience I think mostly b/c the NICU insisted on bottle feeding ... perhaps it was the best for her but I still have that nagging feeling that she could have BF. She was 32 weeks ... anyway, it's all under the bridge now. But I completely understand the OP. big hugs to you. You're not alone in your feelings.

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Old 06-30-2011, 09:02 PM   #29
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Re: Feeling sad over missing the end of the pregnancy.

I just posted about this today - coming up on DS 1st brithday is getting me thinking back to last year
http://www.littlemisskate.ca/2011/06...-year-ago.html
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Old 07-12-2011, 01:53 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Miss Kate
I just posted about this today - coming up on DS 1st brithday is getting me thinking back to last year
http://www.littlemisskate.ca/2011/06...-year-ago.html
Wow! As I sat hear reading this while nursing my 32weeker who will be 1 month old tomorrow and has been home 1 week, I couldn't help but cry. My previous two births were full term 9+ pounders, I was fully prepared for the third to be the same. Reading this I remember feeling all the same emotions as the pps and op in the days following my delivery and still today. I am so grateful dd is healthy and home but can't help but think she should still be inside me!
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