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Old 10-14-2010, 04:01 PM   #1
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Tired of the questions...

I am getting soo tired of all the questions about my 34 weeker. When people see him it usually goes like this.

"Aww, he is so cute! and Tiny! He was early wasn't he? I feel so bad for your family. Is he ok? He isn't retarded from being early is he? Poor little thing just couldn't help it could he? You must be struggling as a family to have to go through this. I just couldn't deal with a preemie. Oh and my favorite...don't breastfeed him its not healthy for preemies." WTH?

Oh, and when people see me with him in the ssc, they tell me I am hurting him by carrying him so close and because he is so tiny he will suffocate. I finally got fed up yesterday and told the lady "I have been carrying him in here since he was less than a month old, if he didn't die then, he's not gonna die now. After that I just walked off.

Is it just me or do any of you lady's get a lot of those comments too?

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Old 10-14-2010, 04:49 PM   #2
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Re: Tired of the questions...

mama. I had lots of that with my first 3 (34, 32, and 34 weeks) It stinks that people think its their business to tell you every thought that crosses their head but it is the way it is. I hope it slows down soon; I found it very annoying with mine little ones too.
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Old 10-14-2010, 04:54 PM   #3
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Re: Tired of the questions...

The kicker is that everyone expects him to have "problems" as they call it. When I tell them that no, other than being tiny he is pretty much hitting his milestones they look shocked. I think some people would rather him have "problems" so they can get the gossip than hear the good news that the lil guy is alright.
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Old 10-14-2010, 05:09 PM   #4
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Re: Tired of the questions...

I seriously hope nobody uses the "R" word to your face! Ugh, I can't stand that word. As a sibling of someone with special needs, it irritates me that people still use it!

I do hear statements, mostly like "Oh look, a brand new baby!", when she's really 4 months old. I usually just smile and keep walking. No odd questions...yet. Yes, it would annoy me and will annoy me if it does happen.
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Old 10-14-2010, 05:21 PM   #5
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Re: Tired of the questions...

I live in Mississippi where some of the people just do no realize that what are saying is hurtful. Our town is very rural and country, I don't think people get a lot of exposure to different things... ie: 9 lb 5 month old It was a shock when we moved here..lol.

I HATE the R word too, which makes it more shocking when its said. I have always taught my kids to not use hurtful words, so when people have used them concerning my preemie its really shocking.
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Old 10-15-2010, 09:30 AM   #6
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Re: Tired of the questions...

I get a lot of "Oh look at that new baby he is so tiny"... Nope he is 3 months old (and already at 12 lbs so not that tiny either!!!)...
More questions I get are not really about my DS, but a lot of people ask WHY he was a preemie and will it happen again if I have more children.... if I only knew those answers too...
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Old 10-15-2010, 05:09 PM   #7
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Re: Tired of the questions...

Yes. Just yes. People are incredibly rude when it comes to preemies. DS1 was 15lbs at 1 year, had plenty of physical delays, and people said the worst things about him. "Will he be like that forever?" "Is he, you know, MENTALLY delayed too?" Seriously folks? SERIOUSLY? Like it's any of your business in the first place?
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Old 10-16-2010, 10:29 PM   #8
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Re: Tired of the questions...

I got this:

"Aw! How old id he?"
Me:"Two/Three months"
"You mean 2/3 weeks?"
Me:"No, I mean 2 M.O.N.T.H.S."
"He's so little"
Me: "Well he's over twice his birth size!!" (I walk off)


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Old 10-19-2010, 05:18 PM   #9
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Re: Tired of the questions...

it bugs me too we bought hone a perfectly healthy 4lb baby and omg i got sooooooo tired of hearing how tiny he was. now at 5 months he is 10lbs and everyone remarks on how strong he is for a newborn. arrrrg.
weird stranger: aww a new baby. she's cute.
me: he's a boy. and he isnt new.
w.s.: oh, is he a month old?
me: no he's 5.
w.s.: weeks?
me: no months.
w.s.: are you sure?
me: im pretty sure. after all i WAS there.
w.s. : was he early.
me: only a little he was 36 weeks.
w.s.: thats not early. 36 weeks is 9 months...

at this point i just walk away...i hear stupidity is catching
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Old 10-19-2010, 09:00 PM   #10
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Re: Tired of the questions...

Don't forget my personal favorite - "Are you sure he's xx months old? He's sooooo tiny!"

Why, thank you, kind stranger. I had no idea I was misinterpreting time so badly. Despite being MY CHILD, I most certainly have no idea how old he is.

In the case of my wee one, he has had a lot of delays and has received early intervention services since he reached a gestational age of +4 weeks. (Which was 11 weeks from birth.) People seem terribly disappointed when I tell them he is progressing beyond expectations.

Oh, and we got a lot of helpful advice about the likelihood of me smothering him in the Moby wrap. Yup, dear lady in the park, I truly appreciate your warnings and I will certainly keep it in mind that he cannot possible breathe while snuggled safely against me while I can FEEL HIS BREATH ON ME!

The kicker was when he was diagnosed with liver cancer at 9 months. People actually had the gall to ask if it was "because he was early." Argh!!! Nope, sorry to burst your bubble, but it's because of a random mutation and your full term darling has the same risk as my preemie.

All this to say, people say the most ridiculous things to parents of preemies. One of my other favorites was when a woman told me that it was no wonder he was early because I am too small to carry a baby to term. I'm five feet tall, certainly not an unusually skinny person, and, um, he's adopted. People are so fun!
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