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Old 03-11-2007, 09:19 AM   #1
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I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

My daughter is 18 months and has always been high maintenance. Its not really an issue, we cuddle, I wear her, she co-sleeps so things were working out ok! My hubby left a month ago to go to Afghanistan and at first things were fine, she is used to him being gone because, well, he is gone alot! This last week and a half or so, I have been losing my mind. She goes to sleep just fine and I leave her on the couch while I clean around the house and finish whatever I want to do downstairs, then I pick her up and we move upstairs, that is when the drama starts. She will literally scream for 45 mins to an hour from the minute I try and lie her down on ANY bed, I have tried her bed, our bed, our spare room, a playpen, her brother's bed, ALL the beds we have in the house. I even tried laying down WITH her, so she never actually LEAVES my arms, but that doesn't work either....then I hold her and rock her and cuddle her as much as she will let me until she passes out. Then she is up screaming between 3 and 4 times a night, sometimes more. I am exhausted. She also screams like this during the day for absolutely NO reason, she will be playing fine, and then she will start screaming and I will pick her up and she will want to be down and then as soon as she gets down she is lifting her hands up to be held again, she just screams and screams and then will calm down just as easily and be fine...I don't know how I am going to do this for the 6 months my husband is gone! It has only been one month and I am going insane already. I was crying with her this morning because I don't know what to do. I don't know what I am going to do in May when I have her and a new baby. I need to sleep, but I am so tired that half the time I lay awake because I am TOO tired to sleep. I have to force myself to eat because I am so tired and stressed, which is not good for my pregnancy, I know. I just don't know what to do. I have tried what seems like everything EXCEPT sleeping in the living room so I never have to move her, which is my plan for tonight....my poor son is getting ignored because my daughter is so needy!!! And I want a bath

We are going to my mom's house for 3 weeks in 25 days and then 2 weeks after that she is coming up to stay until after baby is born, but then she is going back home...I am so scared I am going to fail all of my children, my husband and myself by not doing this well....I keep getting told that people don't know how I handle her and I don't know either because I don't even know if I am helping her or how to help us BOTH?

I am rambling...sorry....

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Old 03-11-2007, 09:38 AM   #2
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

hmmmmmmmmm. could she be getting two year molars?

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Old 03-11-2007, 09:43 AM   #3
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

She already has her molars
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Old 03-11-2007, 09:50 AM   #4
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

If it isn't her teeth, try walking away. If she wants to sleep on the couch, let her, if she starts screaming in the middle of the day, see that she is ok then leave her alone, ignore it. It sounds like a toddler who has found a way to control some of her environment. I could be totally off, I am not there and don't know your child, but that is what it sounds like to me.
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Old 03-11-2007, 09:54 AM   #5
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

It could very well be a control thing for her....when I walk away, she follows me and I guess I give in to easily, I just have a hard time hearing her cry. I should give myself a time out maybe, I would love that! I know that with her screaming so much at night, she is affecting my 4 year olds sleep and he has been more tired lately too....I will try anything at this point! Thank you, I will see what NOT giving in does!
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Old 03-11-2007, 09:54 AM   #6
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

my dd went through the same thing at that age- it may just be a phase because she does not do this anymore- when she did I would look at her in the eyes and ask what she wants. & try to figure it out with her- If she cannot say the words to what she wants the screaming may be her frustration at this. she can now say many more words than she could at that time.

also it could be an allergy to artificial igredienst,not sure what your diet is like) good luck
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Old 03-11-2007, 09:54 AM   #7
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

i'm sorry-i have no idea what she is thinking... could it be her ears?
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Old 03-11-2007, 09:57 AM   #8
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCoastBuckeye View Post
i'm sorry-i have no idea what she is thinking... could it be her ears?
I thought that too, but when I brought her to the doc, they said she was fine...

She is learning sign language so I HOPE that helps if it is a communication thing....she is just SO different from my son, he was so easy going!
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Old 03-11-2007, 10:32 AM   #9
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

mama
I too have no idea nor advice but having a 19 mo. old myself who's more and more going through these 'tantrum' spells (he also has all molars in by now) I feel for ya!
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Old 03-11-2007, 10:37 AM   #10
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Re: I am at my wits end...I don't know if I can do this...:(

Quote:
Originally Posted by a_budravage View Post
If it isn't her teeth, try walking away. If she wants to sleep on the couch, let her, if she starts screaming in the middle of the day, see that she is ok then leave her alone, ignore it. It sounds like a toddler who has found a way to control some of her environment. I could be totally off, I am not there and don't know your child, but that is what it sounds like to me.
My DS did this!!! He was 18 mths while my DH was out to sea! I aggree with what a_budravage said!
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