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Old 12-28-2010, 03:44 PM   #1
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No idea how far along I am (UPDATE in 107)

I originally posted this in the TTC forum. Since then I went to the doctor and had blood work done. They called me today to say that they thought my numbers were "unusually low". Well, since we have no idea how far along I am, I don't see how they can say that to me. I have to go in every three days or so for blood work to make sure the pregnancy is progressing. I guess I'm just hoping that some of you with more experience can look at the info below and maybe give me some hope that everything is okay. I really want this baby.

First day of my last AF was 10/20/10. My cycles are anywhere from 40-50 days.

10/20 AF
10/26 BD
11/02 BD
11/26 BD
12/05 BD
12/06 BD (BFN on this day too)
12/12 BD
12/14 BFN
12/18 very light positive on 2 Wondfo tests
12/19 BFP on CBE digital
12/23 203 HCG
12/28 1057 HCG
01/03 4930 HCG
01/13 Ultrasound - Gestational sac and yolk sac but no fetal pole
01/19 28,676 HCG
01/24 Ultrasound - Gestational sac and yolk sac but no fetal pole
01/27 Ultrasound - Gestational sac, yolk sac, and amnion, but no fetal pole
01/28 20,000 HCG
02/09 Spotting
02/16 D&C

So, can anyone guess how far along I am? I've read that at conception you are considered two weeks pregnant (which I totally don't get, but ok). I guess I just don't understand how all of this is measured.

Any help on this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks mamas.

***UPDATE*** I went for an ultrasound yesterday (1/13) and they saw a gestational sac and a yolk sac, but no fetal pole. I'm trying to stay positive and tell myself that maybe it's still really early, and the fetal pole will be there in a couple of weeks when they do an ultrasound, but I'm looking at the dates above and wondering if I'm just setting myself up for disappointment. I have an appointment with my OB/GYN on Wednesday the 19th to review my time line of events and hopefully the doctor will agree to another ultrasound. The technician yesterday seemed surprised that there was no fetal pole. She search around for quite a while.

***UPDATE*** I went to see my OB/GYN yesterday (1/19). He seems very nice. He's straightforward without being cold, which is helpful. He basically told me that according to my time line and possible conception scenarios, it is most likely that I am carrying a blighted ovum... there is no baby. They had me do blood work yesterday to get my hCG levels. They should have the results by Friday afternoon at which time they will schedule me for another ultrasound. But it doesn't look good at all. The doc told me that he wants to run tests on me after this is over (either I have the baby, if there is one, or I miscarry...either way) because he thinks there could be something wrong with my body.

I had to laugh.

I have been going to the doctor since I was 18 trying to figure out why my body doesn't work right. I've been tested for cysts, thyroid, cancer, genetic abnormality, hormonal abnormality, STD's, you name it. Nothing has ever been found to be wrong with me. Ever. My body just doesn't work. I tried to explain this to him, but you know how doctors are... they want to see their OWN test results. That's fine. Whatever makes him happy. Maybe he will find something that will fix this so that I can give DS a sibling. God knows I cannot take much more of this miscarriage thing.

***UPDATE 01/24***
It is official. My pregnancy is not viable. It has been a little over 5 weeks since my positive pregnancy test. I have a gestational sac and a yolk sac, and even though my numbers are over 28,676, there is no fetal pole. There is also bleeding around the gestational sac, according to the ultrasound, so according to the doctor, miscarriage is inevitable. I had hoped to see something...anything...to give me hope that some miracle would happen. But I guess I just have to face reality that it's not going to happen this time.

A part of me wants to wait just a couple more weeks to be sure, but then I run the risk of actual going through the miscarriage, and I can't handle that again. Last time was so horrifically traumatic... I can't do it again. So I guess I need to schedule the D&C, but I can't bring myself to say out loud that I have truly given up.

I had braced myself for this... but it's still hard...

I have a long road ahead of me of tests and treatment to fix whatever is causing this. And the doc is asking that DH and I stop TTC until they figure out what's wrong.

I can't help but look at DS and feel conflicted.

On the one hand I feel so ungrateful for wanting more. I am so blessed to have had him, how dare I ask for more?

But on the other hand I look at him and think, I did it once, why can't I do it again? Why can't I have just one more?

I guess what will be will be, but it hurts... this whole thing is like a knife in my heart.

Thank you to all of the mamas who have offered hugs and help during this journey. I appreciate all of your care. I'm sorry this couldn't have ended on a happier note.

***UPDATE 01/28***
I was scheduled to have a D&C today. I scheduled it mostly because I didn't want to have to go through another miscarriage, and the doctor and ultrasound tech seemed so certain that there was no hope. The night of the 26th I had the most awful dream that my baby was in fact alive, but the doctors did the D&C anyway and killed my baby.

The doctor's office called me in for another ultrasound yesterday (just to make super-duper sure?) and in addition to the gestational sac and yolk sac, there was also an amnion. The tech flat out told me that everything was empty and there was no baby, but I couldn't help wondering "Why are things still growing if there's no one in there?"

I agonized all evening about my decision and realized something...

Have you ever (when you were little or even more recently) decided to do something that you had a feeling might be bad, but you decided to do it anyway? The example I give is jumping off of something. You look at the height and the landing zone, and there's that nagging feeling in the back of your mind that it could end badly, but you do it anyway. There is a split second between when you make that decision and jump and when you hit the ground and get hurt... a split second where the bottom of your stomach drops out and you realize you made a very bad choice and you are about to experience the worst pain of your life... that split second is what I have been living since Monday... every moment of every day.

Miscarriage is horrible and traumatic. But over time, the pain does lessen to a degree.

However, if I went ahead with the surgery, I knew I would wonder for the rest of my life if I had actually just been too impatient and emotional and actually killed my baby.

Trauma I can deal with... feeling like a baby killer for the rest of my life?... not so much.

So I am canceling the surgery.

I am going to take my last lab slip and get another blood draw to see where my numbers are. I should be above 80,000 by now.

I'm also contemplating going to see another doctor. It's not that I don't like the one I have, I would just like to have a doctor look at all of this who hasn't made up their mind that I'm NOT carrying a baby, you know?

Thank you to all of you who have chimed in and given me your stories of hope. After my blood draw I am going to wait 3 weeks to ask for another ultrasound. I hope against hope that my baby will finally quit playing hide and seek with me.

*** UPDATE 02/09***
I guess I won't be making it to my appointment on the 17th

I started spotting this morning and I have been having horrible pelvic pain. Even though I knew this might happen, it's still hard to deal with.

***UPDATE 02/19***
After several trips to the ER, I finally gave in and had the D&C. There was no fetal pole to be found, and my sac had stopped developing at 6 weeks. Incidentally, my other mc's were also around 6 weeks.

It wasn't bad at all. I expected it to be worse. I think maybe I WANTED it to be worse... like I should be punished for giving up. What is it with 6 weeks that keeps killing my pregnancies?

I'm so angry... angry at my body for doing this... angry at total strangers that are pregnant or have little babies... angry at DH for not being more supportive... angry that life doesn't give a crap about how much this hurts... angry at myself for being such a wuss and not getting over it and moving on.

My son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is the greatest kid ever... no joke... other mamas look at him and how he is and BEG me to tell them my secret... and yet I want more... what is wrong with me that I can't be happy with what I have?...

And then DS will come up to me, and hug my belly and kiss it and then point and say "Baby" with a huge smile... and I know I can't give up...

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Old 12-28-2010, 04:38 PM   #2
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Re: No idea how far along I am (transported from TTC forum)

My best guess (but i'm no expert!) is that the BD on 12/5-6 are the ones that "did the trick" The light wondfo + you got on the 18th would put you at about 12dpo, and the digi CBE is supposed to detect at 25miu. If you had the minimum for a + on that test on the 19th, and that number doubled every 2 days as you would expect, it would be approx 50 on the 21st, and about 100 on the 23rd- yours was double that,- I would say you are probably about 22dpo now, or about 36 day pregnant (about 5 weeks + 1-2 days).

To explain the 2 weeks pregnant when you conceive:

Most women don't know when they ovulate, so doce calculate 40 weeks from the time of their last period. this is not usually accurate unless you have perfect 28 dy cycles and ovulate on cd 14. Pregnancy length is actually about 38 weeks from the time of conception, but for simplicity for the docs, we just add 2 weeks prior to the conception time.

They may be telling you the numbers are really low because right now, they are going by your last period date- so they think you are almost 10 weeks pregnant, which you are most likely only half that.

When you test results come back on Friday, I would expect to see levels of about 1200 or so, maybe higher, maybe a little less, but that should be ballpark (though this can vary widely and still be normal!) I wuld request a dating u/s in about a week or a week and a half from today-

Good luck, and congrats!
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:02 PM   #3
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Re: No idea how far along I am (transported from TTC forum)



I think your number sounds pretty accurate and normal based on a O date of 12/6 and the light positive...if you used one of those sticks now, i'd bet it's pretty dark with blood of 200+
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Old 12-30-2010, 11:27 PM   #4
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Re: No idea how far along I am (transported from TTC forum)

I am clueless about dates and progesterone levels, but I too have very long cycles and hadn't had a period in months when I discovered I was pregnant with my first. My advice is INSIST ON A DATING ULTRASOUND. If you are very early in pregnancy, it should probably be a vaginal ultrasound. I have been told they are more accurate earlier than later, and getting accurate dates now can make the end of your pregnancy smoother... more certainty about due date, appropriate growth levels, etc.

Are they unwilling to do an ultrasound? In my case, 2 of my 3 pregnancies they were a bit slow to agree to the ultrasound, but I just repeated myself several times, said my LMP was not meaningful and each provider agreed pretty easily. For the first pregnancy, there was no resistance at all.

Also, the book "What To Expect When You're Expecting" has a brief section to help see if pregnancy milestones match up with the due date you are expecting. It lists things like first feel movement at X weeks for first-time mom and Y weeks for second time mom, and I don't know what else. If there is a discrepancy, it might lead you to re=think the due date.
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Old 12-31-2010, 10:08 AM   #5
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Re: No idea how far along I am (transported from TTC forum)

They are refusing to do an ultrasound until my numbers are higher. They said there would be nothing to see with my numbers so low.
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Old 12-31-2010, 10:12 AM   #6
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Re: No idea how far along I am (transported from TTC forum)

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Originally Posted by IsaacsMom2009 View Post
They are refusing to do an ultrasound until my numbers are higher. They said there would be nothing to see with my numbers so low.
They are correct on that-usually the baby has not grown big enough to even see the sac until the numbers are at least 1000. When you get your numbers back today from tuesdays test, I would expect they are at least that.

How are you feeling? Any pg symptoms to go on?

Keep us updated!
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Old 12-31-2010, 10:41 AM   #7
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Re: No idea how far along I am (transported from TTC forum)

If you get a dating U/S, make sure the tech has lots of experience with dating. a couple mm off and you have a due date a week earlier than you should.

Also, the book "What to Expect while you're Expecting" was written by someone with no medical background and no consult with anyone who has a medical background. It is better suited to be tinder than a pregnancy book.
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Old 12-31-2010, 10:44 AM   #8
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Re: No idea how far along I am (transported from TTC forum)

When was the last time you took an hpt?
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Old 12-31-2010, 11:39 AM   #9
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Re: No idea how far along I am (transported from TTC forum)

My guess is you just O'd way late and aren't as far along as they think. IME, doctors don't like to go off the info. the patients give them. They just stick the first day of the LMP into their little wheel and go off of that. It doesn't matter if you chart and know you O'd late or if you have a history of wacky cycles. The magic wheel has the final say until you get an u/s.

Going from your dates, I would guess that you O'd around the 12/6 or 12/7. I would put you about 4 weeks pg on 12/19, which means your numbers are right on track. If they wait until the second week of January, I bet they will find a baby right away.

Oh, and they are right about the HCG and u/s. When my HCG was 3500 (5w6d) we could just barely see a sac on the u/s- certainly no baby. 2 weeks later DS was there, his heart beating strongly.
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Old 01-02-2011, 08:46 PM   #10
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Re: No idea how far along I am (transported from TTC forum)

The doctor's office was closed Friday, so I am hoping they call me tomorrow with my numbers from the 28th.
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