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Old 01-14-2011, 01:51 PM   #21
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Re: "Breastfeeding is over-rated"-Joan Wolfe interviewed in Macleans...

Please forgive some paraphrasing. A pp said something along the lines that Wolfe was saying that women bend over backwards to care for their children with no proof that it actually helps.

You could see it that way. However, the way I read her message, it could actually be the "bend over backwards" attitude that increases healthy outcomes in children, not necessarily the breastfeeding itself. I firmly believe that breastfeeding is a healthy, superior choice, but the point that women who are, let's say, vigilant, are having some kind of an affect on baby health comes through loud and clear.

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Old 01-14-2011, 05:48 PM   #22
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Re: "Breastfeeding is over-rated"-Joan Wolfe interviewed in Macleans...

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Originally Posted by danner View Post
Please forgive some paraphrasing. A pp said something along the lines that Wolfe was saying that women bend over backwards to care for their children with no proof that it actually helps.

You could see it that way. However, the way I read her message, it could actually be the "bend over backwards" attitude that increases healthy outcomes in children, not necessarily the breastfeeding itself. I firmly believe that breastfeeding is a healthy, superior choice, but the point that women who are, let's say, vigilant, are having some kind of an affect on baby health comes through loud and clear.
Interesting interpretation! I think you're right and this was what the beginning of the article was trying to say with respect to breastfeeding. The choice to breastfeed seems indicative of benefits distinct from the benefits of breastmilk itself.

I do think Wolfe was talking about the bolded statement in the part about not eating tuna, not drinking diet coke, etc. but it was definitely a secondary point in the article.
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Old 01-14-2011, 06:29 PM   #23
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Re: "Breastfeeding is over-rated"-Joan Wolfe interviewed in Macleans...

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If their marriages are failing because of their choice to breastfeed, it has more to do with their own choices and lack of common sense than society. Society can only have so much impact on a person. Like I said, it may influence you (general you), but at the end of the day, it is your decision and your life. If these women are choosing breastfeeding their child over their husband, it's no ones fault but their own. Despite the pressure I felt to try to continue to breastfeed for 7 months of physical and mental fights. I would stay up until 4am pumping. Then get up at 6 with baby, breastfeed her, give her a bottle because she was still hungry then play with her, then go to sleep when she was napping. For months I did this.
Finally it took it's toll and started to impact my quality of life, and in turn my daughters and my husbands. At which point, I said enough is enough, it wasn't worth it. If others can't see the line where it is enough and choose to continue going, it's their own fault.

Society has a very big double standard when it comes to breast vs bottle. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't, with either side of the argument.

To me this was a very tabloid-y way to get people to talk about this important issue, of unrealistic demands on mothers, and parents. And for it to be published in Macleans is why I thought it was inappropiate. I can tell you from the reaction people in Canada are giving it, they are not looking at it the same way.

And upon further research, the author in question has gone on the record saying breastfeeding is bad, and all prior research is wrong and basically contradicts what she says in this interview She is clearly biased, though she claims she is not.
Bold:

I'll address the first thing I bolded.. first. I think this can be applicable in ANY situation. For example, a few months ago, someone posted on FB some video called "Twilight, I want my wife back." or something to that text.. and the relative that posted it said "It's a funny video but it's sad at the same time, my daughter said that a few of their friends who have become disillusioned with their husbands after reading Twilight and are having marital problems." Uh, Twilight's not the problem.. these women are setting their husbands up for failure because they are comparing them to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. I think they were having issues before twilight came out, and it's easier to say "my marriage sucks because he's not like Edward Cullen" versus saying "my marriage sucks because he's addicted to ****ography and he won't have sex with me anymore" Some people use the more obvious things as a scapegoat for a deeper problem.. it's more acceptable to blame it on a very.. outward thing, versus something that's a bit more private.. if that makes any sense. The problem isn't breastfeeding, it's the attitudes that some people have towards the role of breasts. My husband realizes the primary reason for me having breasts is for feeding and giving our children nourishment when they are small, BUT at the same time, he does sexualize them when the occasion calls for it . The problem is when people cannot separate function from fun.

And I agree with the second statement.. it's the same with anything in life. You ultimately have to decide what's better for you and your family in the long run, versus what people's opinions are. Nobody should EVER be made to feel that their choices are inferior, especially when it comes to feeding your child.. I'm very pro breastfeeding, but if it came down to your child starving or feeding them formula, nobody should make you feel guilty for wanting to give your child nourishment from formula.

As far as taking extremes to parent better.. here's how I look at it. If you're a productive member of society, and you make good choices, you shouldn't have to go to crazy harebrained changes so 'you can be a better parent'. It's not a contest.. and that was one of the things I had to explain to my husband when I brought up the choice to cloth diaper. I'm not doing this because I think cloth diapers are superior over disposables -well they are but that's not the entire point, teehee-nor am I trying to win the mother of the year award because I will be putting more effort into the care of my unborn baby and "neener neener" to other parents who are 'too lazy' to take care of cloth diapers. I got asked by my husband's best friend, "So, now that you are planning on cloth diapering, does that mean you aren't going to associate with us anymore?" and I said "I'm not that shallow, and if anyone's not going to associate with anyone because of certain lifestyle choices, you wouldn't associate with us because we've done far worse things than using disposable diapers." I think he got the point

I'm doing it -in the order of personal importance- because it saves money, it's better for the environment, I don't want to subject my son to potentially getting rashes now that I know what they've been doing to disposables and because in order for me to have more motivation to do housework and clean, I need this as a source of motivation. I had to PROVE to him I could step up the housecleaning a notch, and guess what it's now a habit, and it's progressively been getting better around here!

It boils down to this.. if you feel conflicted when you rest your head on your pillow at night, then maybe you need to rethink things.. otherwise, keep doing what you're doing as long as it's not illegal, harmful or just plain wrong!
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Old 01-14-2011, 09:14 PM   #24
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Re: "Breastfeeding is over-rated"-Joan Wolfe interviewed in Macleans...

I find her POV interesting & informative, I don't necessarily agree with everything she's written, but it's definitely a good alternative viewpoint.
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