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Old 01-24-2011, 03:49 PM   #1
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Birthday Invites at School

Does your kids' school have a rule where you have to invite EVERY kid in the class to a birthday party? In our case, my son only wanted 8 to come and the teacher won't let us pass out invites (even when discreetly sticking them in bookbags) unless we invite all 19 kids. That is a lot of people that we didn't budget for (my large family is also coming).

I know this is the norm for younger kids in preschool and kindergarten to avoid hurt feeling, but my son is in 2nd grade and is turning 8. I don't have a means to contact the parents other than sending home invites with the kids.

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Old 01-24-2011, 03:54 PM   #2
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

I know that we sent 20 invites when Cadence was having her birthday and not even one kid came. The next year we sent 20 again (new school in a new state with new kids) and only 2 showed up or even RSVPd.
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Old 01-24-2011, 03:56 PM   #3
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

Yeah, I figure only about 1/3 of the kids will come but still...annoying. I'm mostly annoyed that now people are going to have less time to plan to come.
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Old 01-24-2011, 04:43 PM   #4
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Yes, that was the policy at my school. But you could mail them.
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Old 01-24-2011, 05:09 PM   #5
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

My daughter's class policy was all, all of the same sex, or hand them out in means other than in class/at school.
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Old 01-24-2011, 06:31 PM   #6
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

I agree with the policy. I don't know if there is a specific policy written anywhere at our school, but handing out invitations is not done unless you invite everyone. It causes hurt feelings regardless of the age.

I would recommend asking if you can send home a note to the other parents and put together a "class directory" so that you can keep in contact. It's a great way to be able to mail invites when you don't want to invite everyone.
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Old 01-24-2011, 06:57 PM   #7
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

We're just going to invite everyone and hope not all show up. I still disagree with the policy, at this age I completely understood you don't always get invited to everything and since the invites would be discreetly put in book bags then no one would see anyways.

Like I said in my OP, no other way to get these out then this method. A directory would be nice, but won't help with a party on this Saturday.

I remembered that we had no problem last year with DD so this is NOT the school's policy and it is the teacher's "policy." I told my mom, a 3rd grade teacher, and she was ticked off that this teacher did this. My mom is the one who advised me on having them go in bookbags which she allows and has had no problems with in 18 years of teaching.
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Old 01-24-2011, 09:05 PM   #8
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

Nope, no rule here. You hand out invites either before school or at one of the recesses.
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Old 01-25-2011, 04:45 AM   #9
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

I hate it when I hear about this "policy"--8 is old enough to learn that not everyone can have 20 people at a birthday party, not everyone wants everyone at their birthday, and, maybe, just maybe, someone doesn't want YOU (universal) at their birthday party. I might feel differently if everyone but 1 were invited--that's a slight & kinda rude. This is as absurd as everyone winning at T-ball.
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Old 01-25-2011, 05:31 AM   #10
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

At my DDs kindergarten, you are not allowed to pass out invites at school. You have to send them through mail, or if pass them out somewhere else. DD hasn't been invited to one party this year. DD is going to invite her whole class to her party, so we'll be sending them in the mail.
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