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Old 01-25-2011, 06:19 AM   #11
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

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I hate it when I hear about this "policy"--8 is old enough to learn that not everyone can have 20 people at a birthday party, not everyone wants everyone at their birthday, and, maybe, just maybe, someone doesn't want YOU (universal) at their birthday party. I might feel differently if everyone but 1 were invited--that's a slight & kinda rude. This is as absurd as everyone winning at T-ball.
These are my feelings exactly.

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Old 01-25-2011, 06:24 AM   #12
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

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I hate it when I hear about this "policy"--8 is old enough to learn that not everyone can have 20 people at a birthday party, not everyone wants everyone at their birthday, and, maybe, just maybe, someone doesn't want YOU (universal) at their birthday party. I might feel differently if everyone but 1 were invited--that's a slight & kinda rude. This is as absurd as everyone winning at T-ball.
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Old 01-25-2011, 06:34 AM   #13
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

ITA. I don't think you should have to invite everybody. Why? At kindergarten sure... but at that age kids have figured out their own friends, who they like, and I think kids need to learn that it's fine to not be invited to everything all the time, and that you don't have to be everybody's best friend.
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:46 AM   #14
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

The rule when I was in school was; you gave them to everybody or not at school. I was one of those kids who did not get invited to anyone's party and I don't care if you are 8 or 18 it hurts. It is rude to talk about an event, as an adult, in front of people who are not invited,same goes with kids. You could always ask the parents of the children you want to invite for their addresses. That would be polite. Schools and teachers have these rules for a reason, you don't have to be in the classroom, trying to teach, with all the hurt feelings. Yeah life is not fair , but common courtesy would be nice.
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:57 AM   #15
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

When I was in school, that rule applied - no invites in school unless everyone was invited. My dad grew up as a sort of loaner/outcast so he always insisted that I invite everyone... inlcuding this one girl that NO one liked because she was weird. She was never invited to anything, and had no friends.

Being the snotty 6th grader that I was, I had a hissy fit about inviting her, but had to so I did.

The girl came to my party, and I don't know if it was because were weren't in a school setting or what, but EVERYONE interacted with her like she was just one of the gang. I had a pool party at the YMCA, and after the party, she came to me and thanked me up and down for inviting her and told me, literally, it was the best day of her whole life. That was SO humbling to me... and I learned a huge lesson from that. I befriended her after that, and found out a lot of stuff about her life... and without getting into detail, that probably WAS the best day of her life

I understand not having enough money to invite 20-30 kids, but I see the other side too. Kids that young are so still innocent, and no matter if its 6 years old or 60 years old, being left out (especially repeatedly) STILL hurts. It may seem trivial to you, not inviting a few kids here and there, but to that one kid who is left out, it could mean everything. Its true, you DON'T have to be friends with everyone, and shouldn't expect to... but it doesn't hurt anything or anyone to encourage kids to be accepting of others and come together every once and a while. Just my $0.02!
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:06 AM   #16
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

We have this rule, too, and it stinks. Some day kids are going to have to learn it. Is it really that less hurtful once they get to middle school to suddenly learn it? And what about that kid that is not even in your kid's class, but is still a special friend? It's kind of sad when my DS has to start collecting telephone numbers himself just so that he can invite his actual friends to his birthday party.
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:17 AM   #17
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

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The rule when I was in school was; you gave them to everybody or not at school. I was one of those kids who did not get invited to anyone's party and I don't care if you are 8 or 18 it hurts. It is rude to talk about an event, as an adult, in front of people who are not invited,same goes with kids. You could always ask the parents of the children you want to invite for their addresses. That would be polite. Schools and teachers have these rules for a reason, you don't have to be in the classroom, trying to teach, with all the hurt feelings. Yeah life is not fair , but common courtesy would be nice.
Agreed!!!
I don't even see why it should have to be a policy. It's common curtosy and it's just plain rude to invite some at not all. I understand if you can't afford to invite everyone...then it's simple...don't do it at school. Call...mail...e-mail...there are many other ways to go about it than rub it other kids faces.
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:17 AM   #18
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

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It is rude to talk about an event, as an adult, in front of people who are not invited,same goes with kids. You could always ask the parents of the children you want to invite for their addresses.
Yeah, but this isn't applicable as we were trying to put the invites in the backpacks discreetly. Not passed out in front of everyone.

And again, I have no way to contact parents.
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:18 AM   #19
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

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Agreed!!!
I don't even see why it should have to be a policy. It's common curtosy and it's just plain rude to invite some at not all. I understand if you can't afford to invite everyone...then it's simple...don't do it at school. Call...mail...e-mail...there are many other ways to go about it than rub it other kids faces.
Putting invites in backpacks is rubbing it in someone's face And as I said in my OP, there is not other way to contact these parents. I would love to be able to call, email, see them at school...but that is not possible to do.
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:19 AM   #20
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Re: Birthday Invites at School

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Yeah, but this isn't applicable as we were trying to put the invites in the backpacks discreetly. Not passed out in front of everyone.

And again, I have no way to contact parents.
A LOT of schools won't even allow a voluntary compilation of numbers/addresses for each class due to privacy concerns.
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