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Old 01-25-2011, 01:28 PM   #1
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Play date etiquette

We're new to play dates. (Before we moved, all of our friends were single and in college, no kids and mom groups were a nightmare) We had some friends over today, and as they were leaving, she started to clean up our play room. I told her not to worry about it, as my two destroyed most of it, and it's my house! (her LO is only 20 months or so)

I've had some help pick up some our toy room, and some just leave.

When we go over for play dates, I always have DD1 pick up at least some of the mess (we usually leave before everyone since they always seem to fall around nap time).

So, is there any unwritten rule on who picks up? I don't mind picking up the toys when someone leaves our house because honestly, it's only going to get messier later!

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Old 01-25-2011, 02:08 PM   #2
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Re: Play date etiquette

Totally OT but I love your Avi!! that is so cute!

As for the question if your child has played I expect your child (or you) to at least help clean some of the mess up. No it doesnt havent to be all picked up or spotless, but please make an effort to curb some of the mess. If I notice someone is getting ready to go I will start a clean up game of some sort. No I wont stand at the door and say "you cant leave until xy amount of things are picked up", but I encourage help of everyone.
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Old 01-25-2011, 02:18 PM   #3
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Re: Play date etiquette

I always help pick up, even if my child wasn't playing for whatever reason. If the host says "Don't worry about it" then I will stop and be on my way.
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Old 01-25-2011, 02:22 PM   #4
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Re: Play date etiquette

I try and help pick up atleast the middle of the floor. But I generally tell people dont bother (really because Im sure they wont do it right and Ill just dump the bins and sort them anyway)
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Old 01-25-2011, 02:27 PM   #5
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Re: Play date etiquette

I do the same at our house. If people offer to help clean up, I thank them, but tell them not to worry about it. I am a bit anal and need everything to land where it belongs so I'd rather do it myself. At others houses I offer to help, but don't force my child to clean up unless they ask us to.
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Old 01-25-2011, 03:11 PM   #6
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Re: Play date etiquette

Quote:
Originally Posted by ReiSapphireJade View Post
I always help pick up, even if my child wasn't playing for whatever reason. If the host says "Don't worry about it" then I will stop and be on my way.
Ditto this. But, when it's at my house, I have to do the cleaning myself. I hate to see the toys being put up in the wrong place. I feel like most other moms are the same way so I just try to put up things that have an obvious home.
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Old 01-25-2011, 03:25 PM   #7
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Re: Play date etiquette

I allow the visiting CHILD help clean up if the parent wants them to because it's teaching them to help with chores and such. I don't expect the parent to help clean up.

Same goes when we are at other's houses. I have my DD clean up some of the things she played with just to help her learn to be responsible for her own messes.
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Old 01-25-2011, 05:20 PM   #8
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Re: Play date etiquette

When we are visiting I always make sure my kids clean up with the toys they played with. I've never had anyone tell my child to stop. I usually say, "We're leaving in 5 minutes, go ahead and put away the toys." Then I'll let the kids clean for 5 minutes, say good bye and head on our merry way.

When I have people at my house I encourage all the kids to clean up, even the ones that aren't mine. I'm not anal about the toys being put away in "right" places. They mostly just have big bins to dump everything in anyways. As long as everything is off the floor I'm a happy camper.
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Old 01-25-2011, 05:51 PM   #9
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Re: Play date etiquette

If my child has played with the toys, I fully expect them to help clean up. Mine have learned to help anyway though. There is no reason they shouldn't. It actually bothers me when we have guests and they let their kids tear everything up then don't bother to help clean up. I'd rather they start doing it and I tell them not to worry about it than just leave it, but that's just good manners IMO.

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Old 01-25-2011, 06:52 PM   #10
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Re: Play date etiquette

I usually help my child pick up for nothing else than to teach common courtesy to the host, but I do not expect it to always happen when I host. Often I will say, "Don't worry about it," but I get that they are often trying to teach their LO's to clean up too. The only time I don't offer or start picking up, is when it is beyond obvious that the expiration date on my kids is done and we need to scoot out before WWIII erupts.
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