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Old 01-25-2011, 07:36 PM   #1
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An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

I'm kind of at my wits end w/DS. (I'm SOO Sorry this is another sleep thread! There are a ton of them! )
He's almost 21 months, and he refuses to go to sleep. Naps are awful, he's down to 1/2 an hour. (he still NEEDS his naps, and he's tired/crabby for about an hour after he wakes up because it wasn't long enough to begin with. Sometimes we can bounce him back down, but not usually.)
Anyways, Bedtime. We have the same routine pretty much every. night.
He knows what to expect! bath every other day, diaper, pjs, snack, brush teeth, book, lights out. Nurse for 5 mins or so. (weaning, he needs to be off before DS2 comes, I cannot STAND it any longer, and there is no milk!) After that he'll roll around bed, "rub"/get comfy, drink from his sippy, roll some more, crawl around, ect ect.. he just CANNOT get himself situated. It takes a full hour. Sometimes I'll pat him, bounce him (bouncing is getting too difficult now!)sing to him...uugh.
If i leave he screams bloody murder. CIO isn't an option-- he will NOT stop. (Super strong willed.)
Are there any tips???
I saw someone mention melatonin in another thread...what about that? isn't he too young?
He IS tired...he just doesn't know how to unwind, and I don't know how to make it any easier for him. I'm sick of spending an hour in there w/him. Then I usually wind up falling asleep, and then I don't go to bed until 12 and I'm up by 6:30-7 w/him. I can't do that w/the NB.
(DH is busy w/too many things right now to be much help w/bedtimes.)

OH, also, if I put him down earlier, he'll be up an hour earlier, so that doesn't work for us!

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Old 01-25-2011, 09:05 PM   #2
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

Have you tried sleep training with music? That worked really well with us for DS2. Our older two boys still have music going at bedtime. I'd guess that part of his problems maybe be weaning-related. DS1 was horrible for about a week when we finally stopped his bedtime nursing, but DS2 didn't seem to mind much. I'm trying to night-wean DS3 now and it's not going well yet. Routine was critical with DS2 and sometimes he still pops out of his room a few minutes after lights out, asking for more snuggles. Also, does he have a lovey? DS1 has one but isn't nearly as attached to it as DS2 is. Some kids really seem to need something to snuggle and feel attached to and responsible for and having one seems to settle DS2 a lot. DS3 hasn't been interested yet.

DS2 was frequently cranky when he woke up from naps, mainly depending on how his waking-up went. If you can predict about when he's likely to wake up and go lay down next to him and snuggle him awake, he's more likely to wake up happy than if he wakes up because he's wet and uncomfortable a few minutes later. On the rare occasion that DS1 naps now, he almost always wakes up cranky, too. It seems to help to snuggle with them in the recliner for a while and then find an activity that they are both really interested in doing and get them started on that so that they're thinking happy.

Hope to see some more good ideas here, too!
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:21 PM   #3
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

How about putting a toy in there - may not be the greatest solution but we do and my son will play for a few minutes and then go to sleep. We have his leap frog text and learn in there (no loose parts to hurt him), a soft book his grandma got and a few soft infant stuffed animals. (They also make a vetch version - he's addicted to both - we have this as our diaper bag one as I got tired of scout).
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:26 PM   #4
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

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Originally Posted by clothforyourangel View Post
Have you tried sleep training with music? That worked really well with us for DS2. Our older two boys still have music going at bedtime. I'd guess that part of his problems maybe be weaning-related. DS1 was horrible for about a week when we finally stopped his bedtime nursing, but DS2 didn't seem to mind much. I'm trying to night-wean DS3 now and it's not going well yet. Routine was critical with DS2 and sometimes he still pops out of his room a few minutes after lights out, asking for more snuggles. Also, does he have a lovey? DS1 has one but isn't nearly as attached to it as DS2 is. Some kids really seem to need something to snuggle and feel attached to and responsible for and having one seems to settle DS2 a lot. DS3 hasn't been interested yet.

DS2 was frequently cranky when he woke up from naps, mainly depending on how his waking-up went. If you can predict about when he's likely to wake up and go lay down next to him and snuggle him awake, he's more likely to wake up happy than if he wakes up because he's wet and uncomfortable a few minutes later. On the rare occasion that DS1 naps now, he almost always wakes up cranky, too. It seems to help to snuggle with them in the recliner for a while and then find an activity that they are both really interested in doing and get them started on that so that they're thinking happy.

Hope to see some more good ideas here, too!
Thanks...when we were still nursing/he was getting milk it would take upwards of 3 hours...he did NOT want me to leave. SO we're actually doing a LOT better, but still!! and he's had a sound machine for months; it's always on for naps and during the night.
I definately snuggle DS when he wakes up. Sometimes he'll walk out, look around, and stand next to me and start crying/pitching a fit, so I hold/let him comfort nurse and he either falls back asleep, or just cuddles for awhile...but the thing is i cut the comfort nursing short. I know he still REALLY wants this, but I cannot stand it anymore.
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:28 PM   #5
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

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How about putting a toy in there - may not be the greatest solution but we do and my son will play for a few minutes and then go to sleep. We have his leap frog text and learn in there (no loose parts to hurt him), a soft book his grandma got and a few soft infant stuffed animals. (They also make a vetch version - he's addicted to both - we have this as our diaper bag one as I got tired of scout).
I've tried! A book/toy...nope. His comfort item of choice is and always has been me thus far. He really doesn't have any favorite items actually, he's attatched to nothing! Wish he would! lol. It's ok, I understand he's so young, and it's such a short amount of time, but I just know that I won't be able to do this when his little brother arrives, so I'd like to get this "under control" before then; so he doesn't resent his brother, KWIM?
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Old 01-25-2011, 09:38 PM   #6
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

just curious on the cio, sounds like you have tried it. how long did he cry? I am not saying to do it but saying that if you only tried it for a short amount of time and only a few days then maybe it would work if you let him cry longer or gave it more time to work. Normally I am not a proponent of cio especially not before about 9 months old but he's almost two so more able to understand what you are saying and what your expectations are.

I know it's hard though. Sleep issues are totally emotionally draining and exhausting. I hope some others have some good suggestions but honestly think that for some situations where you do have a 2, 3, or 4 year old that NEEDS to finally transition from co-sleeping, it will involve some crying. You can try different methods and techniques but it's likely that you will mainly need to set boundaries and be consistent...of course that will create some tears when your child realizes that it's no longer going to be an hour of undivided attention from you.
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Old 01-25-2011, 10:01 PM   #7
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

Holy cow I could have written these posts, OP! Aside from the nursing part, and my DS is 26 months, but we are in the exact.same.situation. Crazy.

I am watching this thread for ideas...just tonight it took an hour for DS to go to sleep, I'm pg, I'm exhausted, I'm totally over this.
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Old 01-25-2011, 10:03 PM   #8
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

Is it completely dark in the room? As for the melatonin, I don't know at what age they can start that.
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Old 01-26-2011, 05:48 AM   #9
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

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Originally Posted by jacquelinemarie82 View Post
just curious on the cio, sounds like you have tried it. how long did he cry? I am not saying to do it but saying that if you only tried it for a short amount of time and only a few days then maybe it would work if you let him cry longer or gave it more time to work. Normally I am not a proponent of cio especially not before about 9 months old but he's almost two so more able to understand what you are saying and what your expectations are.

I know it's hard though. Sleep issues are totally emotionally draining and exhausting. I hope some others have some good suggestions but honestly think that for some situations where you do have a 2, 3, or 4 year old that NEEDS to finally transition from co-sleeping, it will involve some crying. You can try different methods and techniques but it's likely that you will mainly need to set boundaries and be consistent...of course that will create some tears when your child realizes that it's no longer going to be an hour of undivided attention from you.
Yeah, we did CIO over the course of an hour, I'd go back in and check on him... I thought that checking made it worse, so The next time I stayed out of the room for 45 mins. NO cigar; he was hyperventilating and soaked in sweat when I went back in.
Also, I would do CIO sitting right next to him/holding him... BOY did he get TICKED. pushed/kicked/screamed and wanted nothing to do w/me... (which I can't have him doing now, because my belly gets in they way!)
So I'm really not sure what to do here. I could try CIO again. But honestly, I'm going to assume at this point that it's not going to work...unless I leave him until he does indeed "pass out" Oh, and he HAS passed out before from lack of breathing/being mad. He's also made himself puke. 2 other reasons I stopped doing it.
haha!
I've been thinking about the sitting on the floor and slowely backing up more each night until I'm out of the room. Only it's great fun for him to get out of bed and come and get me every time I'm on the floor. He wants me in bed so he can touch me if needed/know I'm nearby so that he can fall asleep easily.
We don't cosleep unless I'm just too tired and fall asleep there, or he has his "bad" nights where he's up every 2 hrs.
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Old 01-26-2011, 05:51 AM   #10
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

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Is it completely dark in the room? As for the melatonin, I don't know at what age they can start that.
Yes, it is.
Even for nap times i put a thick blanket over the window (until I can get a blackout curtian) and it helps, but yeah.
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