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Old 01-26-2011, 05:55 AM   #11
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

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Holy cow I could have written these posts, OP! Aside from the nursing part, and my DS is 26 months, but we are in the exact.same.situation. Crazy.

I am watching this thread for ideas...just tonight it took an hour for DS to go to sleep, I'm pg, I'm exhausted, I'm totally over this.

I know the situation calls for tough love; I just can't see how CIO for an hour+ would be condusive to a good night's sleep and looking forward to bedtime at this age... I only have a few months left to get it figured out!

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Old 01-26-2011, 07:06 AM   #12
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

I hope you find some rays of hope here but it does sound like you have tried everything. If he is really that strong willed then it may take some variation of CIO. Can you cut down the "soothing" time and after a certain time, then let him cry? I don't know how you are going to go thru this whole routine after the baby gets here so it might be time for a little more tough love otherwise it probably will get worse after baby is born. Big brother will be smart enough to know that baby is with mommy and he is stuck in his room. If you did let him cry one night and then ended up coming in and doing the whole bit anyway, then that wasn't really doing anything but showing him that he can outlast mama. If you do decide to do some other form of sleep training, definitely stick to consistently for at a week or two and then make a decision if it is working or not. Since he is so strong willed, you will have to be that much more consistent.
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Old 01-26-2011, 07:31 AM   #13
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

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I hope you find some rays of hope here but it does sound like you have tried everything. If he is really that strong willed then it may take some variation of CIO. Can you cut down the "soothing" time and after a certain time, then let him cry? I don't know how you are going to go thru this whole routine after the baby gets here so it might be time for a little more tough love otherwise it probably will get worse after baby is born. Big brother will be smart enough to know that baby is with mommy and he is stuck in his room. If you did let him cry one night and then ended up coming in and doing the whole bit anyway, then that wasn't really doing anything but showing him that he can outlast mama. If you do decide to do some other form of sleep training, definitely stick to consistently for at a week or two and then make a decision if it is working or not. Since he is so strong willed, you will have to be that much more consistent.
Thanks; I know, I'm always posting this question! I keep going in, why?? I feel bad. The way he handles it is attrocious. I need to be much more consistant. I can't spend an hour. IDK, do I give him a little nightlight and a toy/book?? I'm sure he wouldn't even bother, he'd just through a fit. And I feel like it's soo unhealthy for him to cry like that, but he isn't sleeping well, and that's almost worse.
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Old 01-26-2011, 07:42 AM   #14
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

This sounds exactly like what I was doing with my first when I was 7 months preggo with the second.... in fact... we were still doing this with a newborn in the house when a friend recommended Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. I went to the library looking for it and the librarian, looking at my two month old infant was like, "Oh, everyone starts worrying about sleep with a newborn, don't worry, it's normal." I didn't mention that it was for my 18 month old!

I was originally not going to read it, because he's supposed to be a CIO advocate and I had tried and tried that method. DS had cried for five hours one night and finally I had decided never ever again. BUT the author is actually REALLY aware of how mom's feel and how we just can't take the crying and he offers a lot of other options and good tips.... we started a MUCH earlier bedtime routine (5 o'clock early on 'til he got some good rest) and focused on good naps. And most importantly if he sat up (video monitor, best $100 I ever spent) we'd go lay him down on his pillow, cover him up, pat his back twice and walk out. No interaction, not even eye contact, just go in, lay down, walk out. We probably did it 50 times 'cause the boy can keep himself awake SO MUCH! He still cried a little bit, but it wasn't like CIO, just mad crying that we wouldn't let him get up. It finally worked and he got the idea. We still have to go in a couple times every night, but it's so so so so so much better than it was that we hardly care.

And of course he still has strong willed nights and if his sleep is disturbed he's still impossible to get settled back down. Last night little brother slept for 11 hours straight and he was up 4 times. Stubborn sleepers are always stubborn sleepers. I can't wait 'til he can talk and I can just explain that he needs to stay in bed.
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Old 01-26-2011, 08:46 AM   #15
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

My daughter is 2.5 and ALWAYS takes FOREVER to get to sleep at night, at least an hour. It wasn't until the last couple months that she could do it all herself. We put her in her bed with books and she'll talk herself to sleep. Prior to that, she needed to be rocked, held, whatever for HOURS. It was miserable.

We did use melatonin occasionally for her. It worked, but it led to her being up more at night.

All I can say, is that eventually they grow out of it. Trust me, it was VERY hard for a while.
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Old 01-26-2011, 09:11 AM   #16
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

Has your DH tried putting him to bed? It takes DH 10 minutes to get the girls to sleep. With me, I'm in there for an hour, and it used to be more.
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Old 01-26-2011, 09:33 AM   #17
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

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My daughter is 2.5 and ALWAYS takes FOREVER to get to sleep at night, at least an hour. It wasn't until the last couple months that she could do it all herself. We put her in her bed with books and she'll talk herself to sleep. Prior to that, she needed to be rocked, held, whatever for HOURS. It was miserable.

We did use melatonin occasionally for her. It worked, but it led to her being up more at night.

All I can say, is that eventually they grow out of it. Trust me, it was VERY hard for a while.
Thanks...yeah, it's crazy! I'm assuming this is just "his thing" I know I don't always fall asleep easily, but it doesn't take me that long every night!
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Old 01-26-2011, 09:34 AM   #18
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

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Has your DH tried putting him to bed? It takes DH 10 minutes to get the girls to sleep. With me, I'm in there for an hour, and it used to be more.
The thing is pretty much every evening DH needs to study or he's working, and so he can't really do much. Sometimes he can bounce DS down, but sometimes DS'll be like "mom! Mom!" or some other "excuse" comes up, like he's hungry (not really) or wants to play. He would be up 24/7 if he could!
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Old 01-26-2011, 10:31 AM   #19
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

I just put him down for his nap. It took about half an hour. I wouldn't let him get out of bed. (kept laying him back down as soon as he'd move) and wouldn't nurse him/rock him. BOY was he ticked. I tried patting him a few times, and he refused. The last time he let me and it took him about 10 mins to calm his breathing and fall asleep, but he did! I think this is what I'm going to have to do! Then hopefully he'll learn that he needs to stay in bed until he falls asleep...and hopefully if he needs me to "pat him down" it won't take too long because he'll come to expect that.
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Old 01-26-2011, 11:50 AM   #20
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Re: An hour to sleep...EVERY night?!

The most awesome thing about this whole forum is that there is always someone going through the exact same parenting challenges. That's why I love it here. Our challenge is that we have a puker when she cries too hard, so we try to keep her from getting to that point, often by over-talking, giving in too easily, etc.....

I don't have any advice. Just hugs.
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