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Old 03-17-2007, 05:16 PM   #1
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s/o: can this be corrected????

OK you all know david has speech delays (i think PPD too)
david wont shake hands, wont say HI or bye to anyone, not even to me.
I feel I always have to explain myself cuz i dont want parents to think david is rude . david when i drop him off at his 'school', he totally ignores me, is ay bye and he doesnt even look at me when I leave no kiss nothing. it sure breaks my heart as a kissy smoochy gal that iam
Am I suppose to discipline this?? I havent but i sure dont know if im suppose are you special kids like this ???
if an adult starts talking to him , he will just look at him/her like s/he has poop on their face and walks away. it makes me he wont touch others. (like mass you have to shake hands , he wont do it at all).and it sure makes me feel cuz they would think he is just a spoiled brat that is better than them.
this is more like a vent too it does break my heart though
thanks if you read all of this

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Old 03-17-2007, 05:27 PM   #2
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Re: s/o: can this be corrected????

No, I don't think that you should be disciplining for it... it doesn't really sound like he can help it. Is he in speech therapy? If not, I would look into that because it sounds like he could really benefit from it.

Also, what kind of evals has he had? Has he been evaluated for PDD? Or maybe even selective mutism? I knew a little girl growing up that did that exact same thing you described when meeting people (even people she's already met) and that's what she had.

I know its not easy, but if you haven't gotten any real answers, I would really push to get some...

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Old 03-17-2007, 05:34 PM   #3
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Re: s/o: can this be corrected????

Are you having him assessed for PDD? If so, I'm sure there will be some helpful recommendations that come out of that assessment.

I wouldn't think of the behaviour as being one in need of discipline, but rather in need of teaching. Perhaps he doesn't understand the social norms. Carol Gray (I believe that's the spelling) has some social stories, or scripts that help teach children with special needs social behaviours. If she doesn't have a social story for the particular thing you're dealing with (in this case, saying goodbye, or meeting someone new, or talking to an adult, or shaking hands at mass), then you can use her "template" to write your own. Basically, her stories work on the assumption that some children don't learn social behaviours just by watching others - you have to teach them - and she uses scripts or almost like lists of rules for what to do in a certain situation because many special needs kids need things spelled out for them that concretely.

I wouldn't worry about what other people think. It really is more their problem than yours. But, at the same time, I understand wanting your child to behave in a socially acceptable manner.

I really hope you can get an assessment soon, so you can better understand why David is having such trouble learning these things. I'm in the process of trying to understand why my 4 y.o. is having such trouble with motor planning. I hate knowing that he's struggling with something, but not knowing how to help him.
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Old 03-17-2007, 05:48 PM   #4
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Re: s/o: can this be corrected????

he was getting speech therapy last year but now my insurance denied me ( I gotta call and fight though). no, he technically hasnt been dx wtih PPD only with language/speech delay. he has seen a neurologist for a EGG (is that how its called, with the wires ) and it was normal. that is the extent of his testing. so i , he has had a speech evaluation and the Speech pathologist sees him as NEEDING ST, so i know insurace has to cover it, i just have to get a dx of PPD but dont know what doctor will assess him for that???
thanks
and how do i teach him though?? i tell him he has to say hi but he just ignores me completely . he just wont listen to me. RARELY would he say bye (never HI though) . bye if we going home though .
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Old 03-17-2007, 05:54 PM   #5
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Re: s/o: can this be corrected????

our neuroligist is sending paul to a developmental center for assestment where we will go for about 4-5 hours they say and developmental peds, therapist and such will observe and interact with paul to conclude a dx.We have the same problems as you and i have decided that until we have a dx then i will talk but not discipline for this.I feel that i will get better ideas on how to handle that once i know where we stand.We have paul in speech and occupational therapy and the school system and i know how hard you have to fight for services.If youy ever need anyone to talk to pm me
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:07 PM   #6
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Re: s/o: can this be corrected????

thanks courtney. i do have to go back to the neurologist next month (6mo f/u) so i will ask him for a PPD dx. 6mo ago i did ask for a dev ped and he didnt think we needed it to you all
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:15 PM   #7
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Re: s/o: can this be corrected????

I don't know how the system works in the US, but up here we typically have a primary care physician (sometimes a ped'n for kids), through whom we can get referrals to a specialist. I'd ask whoever is the primary care physician for a referral to a developmental pediatrician. We also have centers for child development that have interdisciplinary teams (PT, OT, Speech, Early interventionists etc) that assess kids and provide recommendations to help them. Another option would be a psychologist. Many child psychologists are skilled in diagnosis of issues such as PDD. You might have to pay out of pocket rather than having your insurance cover it, but if you're not getting anywhere through your insurance company, it might be another avenue to explore.

I'd suggest being as proactive as possible. It sounds like your concerns about David go beyond speech. Early intervention is so important.

ETA I just read that he's seeing a neurologist. That would be a good starting point, though I would insist on a referral to someone who specializes in children's behaviour and development.
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Last edited by momto2boysinOnt; 03-17-2007 at 06:17 PM. Reason: Added info
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Old 03-17-2007, 07:28 PM   #8
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Re: s/o: can this be corrected????

i think early intervention should be able to get you some of the services he needs. i have heard they are free, the eval and the services. i think they are through the school system. sorry i don't know enough to help more, but i wanted to throw that out there.
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Old 03-17-2007, 07:32 PM   #9
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Re: s/o: can this be corrected????

i should have also said he DOES go to speech thru the PS system, but its a group and its not enough according to the speech therapist that gave him the evaluation last month. thanks though for the tips. he does have ST but he needs MORE. he needs 1 to 1 also. thanks though girls.
i just wanted to know *HOW* do i teach him this things
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Old 03-17-2007, 10:19 PM   #10
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Re: s/o: can this be corrected????

You demonstrate, over and over and over again. That is how Kearnan learned. He has a script now that he uses when he meets people. He says "hi" then he says "fine good" (he always expects people to ask how are you". It is just repeptitive demonstration that worked. When he was really little we visited my grandmother in her retirement center, one of the old men spent alot of time with him and he learned how to politely shake hands from him. It was very helpful. But even though Kearnan is on the spectrum he is overly social (which isn't especially common, it's just the way he is) so it was harder for him to learn the words than to learn that you needed to use a greeting. You might also look into ABA.

As for getting him his speech what you do is go to the school with a letter saying you want an ARD meeting. At the ARD meeting tell them you want him evaluated by the school psycologist and the diagnostician for autism spectrum disorders and speech delays. If they refuse ask for the refusal and reason in writing. They should refuse you though. After you have the results you will have another ARD meeting where you can go over a revised list of services and an IEP for him. That should get you more services. If he evaluates as normal except for a speech delay then you can demand the 1 on 1 speech he needs. If he evaluates as on the spectrum then there will be a whole host of other services in the offering. Stand firm and demand your rights.

With the insurance I don't know what to tell you. We had the same problem with our old insurance, they just didn't cover speech for developmental delays, only for injuries. Our new insurance covers it. It's the luck of the draw I am afraid.
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