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Old 02-06-2011, 11:18 AM   #31
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

Catching up!

Terra - the store sounds super fun!

Tamara - I wish you could catch a break, mama.

Meredith - 10 teeth? Wow!

Jul - I don't have much advice to give on K's belly trouble.

Elena - Can't wait for you to get the bECO. Our postal service here is always so slow. Mail doesn't even get to the post office until 4pm.

Not much else to report, so here are some pictures of my 8 month old girlie (already! yikes!)




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Old 02-06-2011, 05:24 PM   #32
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

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AFM: It has been a busy day! We went and got V and E haircuts. V is donating her to the locks of Love. I am so proud of her. She got her hair cut pretty short to make sure they would accept it. Then we went to best buy, McDonalds , the furniture store and back home. I am ready for bed!
Busy day indeed!
I still have Ruth's and my ponytails of hair, need to mail them to donate! Oi, and I just realized I don't think I ever posted pics of her hair cut for my mom.

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Ugh I have the stomach flu and another blocked duct!
Oh no Tamara!

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Hi ladies -
I've read but I will admit I'm being totally self-involved right now. Sorry I haven't been on we haven't had internet for a whole month!


I will try to be back on more and be less grumpy Have a good weekend!
Jeepers, than I am a horrible neglective mother, because Levi only wears diapers never uses the potty. at her for making you feel that way.


I can't believe Henna has 10 teeth?!!!!! Levi is just starting to get teeth now - I think I can see the left one (bottom front) just starting to break through his gum a teeny tiny bit.
And walking So not ready for that one, lol. Crawling all over is enough for now!

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Not much else to report, so here are some pictures of my 8 month old girlie (already! yikes!)
that girlie and her birthday dress, Jessica!!! You did a great job!

AFM: Blah. I'm so down lately and I'm hating it. It's been a couple weeks of it now and it just stinks. I know most of it is due to SAD, but there's not much I can do about that for another couple months - which certainly doesn't help. Part of it is finances, but there's not much we can do there either. I just hate getting to a point every year of having to decide which bills to pay, what to scrimp on, etc until tax return time so we can get back above water.
Today I decided to forgo church, just couldn't handle the thought of getting everyone ready, or even being there for it. I took Levi and went for groceries this afternoon - I got absolutely nothing done yesterday at all, though I meant to. I just got too bummed to do anything other than laundry and tidying around the house.
DH stayed home with the older kids and was going to take them for skating this afternoon - when I got home I could see that the van hadn't been moved at all. He didn't bother taking them. I hate that he lays around reading and playing video games all the time.

That's a big part of my down-ness as well, DH's laziness and his acting like I do nothing, he does everything, etc. I'm just tired of hearing and feeling it.
Honestly, a lot of days I feel like things are not good at all between us... and I feel like I'm the only one who feels it.
There's no question of me leaving - I have no education, I couldn't get any job worth anything or pay for anything at all, and I wouldn't want the kids to have to deal with all that - but staying is really depressing.

just venting, sorry.
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Old 02-06-2011, 09:11 PM   #33
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

Tam...ANY better? :kiss: and

Mer~ your mom AND your MIL with the way they treat you . I have heard some ppl who are really into EC-ing think using diaps is neglect or abuse, but, um. Not. Plus, as you said, she didn't even know about it before! You are not pawning the kids off on people so that you can do your thing, etc, etc. You are an awesome mama!
Funny about Henna. Kailani doesn't seem to mind the face planting. He keeps forgetting that he can't stand alone, so when he is chewing a toy, he might tip or forget to lean and he slams his head or face on the corner of a chair, the laptop, the floor, etc. He has little bruises on his cheeks and forehead.

Jess, you are so talented! Knitting beautiful clothes AND babes

Elena, oh mama. Please, please feel free to PM me anytime, ok? While I agree that SAD can make things seem worse, the fact is your feelings about your DH and the situation is there. Have you tried counseling? Even if your DH won't agree to it, you can go yourself. I am only saying this bc if you are committed to staying, then you need support. If you stay just bc it's too hard to leave, you become more resentful. I wish I had done things a LOT different when I left, but I don't regret it. I was sad, sad, sad. Now I'm just poor. poor. poor.

I don't know what else to say, but vent anytime! I am honestly really sad and disappointed at so many men these days. Ironically enough, my boys were talking today about not wanting to be stay at home dads bc it wasn't real work, etc and I, ahem, had them clarify. They know it's work, but not (in their mind) for a men. They feel they should bring home the bacon and the mom can work if she wants. So, I was relaying that convo to DH and he said, "so many men don't get how hard it is to stay home" and I flat out told him he was the ONLY man I know who fully gets it and appreciates how hard it is to be a SAHM. Most men don't see it until they have to do it themselves. OR, like my ex, if he was home with them, he let them do whatever, eat whatever, sit in front of the TV or video games, so he thought my job was "easy".
The other thing that got me, was if I ever tried to vent, it was always that it was my choice, I didn't have to stay home. Not the point, dude. Hana does get points from me for "getting it". Maybe it's bc he's older? And he saw his mom work her butt off staying home and raising the kids- his dad was a wrestler who traveled the world for years and was gone months at a time. So, maybe that's why he appreciates it? If anyone wants me to 'have a chat' with their DH's I will

ok, off soapbox
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Old 02-07-2011, 02:45 AM   #34
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

Jul - I think part of the problem is some women too. My BIL just joined the Marines, currently he is in tech school and his sgt. is female. My MIL is stone cold shocked about it, she was abhored when DH and I first got married and I owned my own business. All of my reading that was assigned during pre-marital counseling along with all the books I recieved as gifts for my wedding state how women are lesser to their husbands...and I recieved most of the books FROM women, who had read them and agreed with what they said. They women of the church also put a book together for me with loving words of wisdom all of which were in my opinion degrading - how can some women think they mean so little? However I meet more and more men recently that understand the value of the stay at home mom, in fact my neighbor told me "Don't ever devalue yourself for being a SAHM, it's a tough job" it was nice to hear.

Jessica that dress is so beautiful!

Elena I agree with Jul on this one. I watched my mom stay because she didn't know what to do if she left....she is half the woman she used to be, and my sister has huge relationship issues because she saw my mom being walked over everyday for years. If you are going to stay you need some sort of help, be it counseling or something else.
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Old 02-08-2011, 06:53 AM   #35
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

Stopping by to say hello. Where is everyone? Usually I'm wading through all the chatter!

Elena - I know how you feel :hug: I have dark days where my mind wanders and I feel jealous, resentful, bitter, etc. I may have posted about this here before (or else it was in another forum) but have you read The Love Dare? You don't need to be on the brink of divorce for it to be effective, and I found it really helped me in my interactions with DH. :hug: These Canadian winters are long and lonely. Feel free to PM anytime.

My DH doesn't 'get it' about SAHM either. He's like you ex, Jul, where they will just sit and watch Netflix or play computer games all day with him. He doesn't do anything around the house and then when I would come home from work it would be my job to start all over with supper, cleaning, etc. > I do feel that when I am on a mat leave my 'job' is the kids and house, but I do want a break from it sometimes. It's hard to be 'at work' 24 hours a day, every.single.day (and to be honest, I'm not really the SAH type. This is hard for me.)
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Old 02-08-2011, 07:28 AM   #36
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

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Stopping by to say hello. Where is everyone? Usually I'm wading through all the chatter!

Elena - I know how you feel :hug: I have dark days where my mind wanders and I feel jealous, resentful, bitter, etc. I may have posted about this here before (or else it was in another forum) but have you read The Love Dare? You don't need to be on the brink of divorce for it to be effective, and I found it really helped me in my interactions with DH. :hug: These Canadian winters are long and lonely. Feel free to PM anytime.

My DH doesn't 'get it' about SAHM either. He's like you ex, Jul, where they will just sit and watch Netflix or play computer games all day with him. He doesn't do anything around the house and then when I would come home from work it would be my job to start all over with supper, cleaning, etc. > I do feel that when I am on a mat leave my 'job' is the kids and house, but I do want a break from it sometimes. It's hard to be 'at work' 24 hours a day, every.single.day (and to be honest, I'm not really the SAH type. This is hard for me.)
Jess you took the words right out of my mouth! That is exactly how I feel ALL.THE.TIME! DH will never get it about being a SAHM! Even if he had to do it...he is too arrogant to admit that it is tough work! On a side note though he did finally clean the kitchen (3 days later and did again last night, he also did some laundry)

Elena I can't give much advice because I think about "D" at least a few times a month but am in the same boat...no job, or anything! I can although offer

Mer what horrible things for oyur mom to say! I am sorry!
Wowzers at Henna too...10 teeth, walking and all that stuff! Jeepers, seems like time just flew by! Seems like yesterday we were all talking about when we would go into labor and how cruddy we all felt!

Jul I am feeling a tad better. I need to get groceries today so I must be a little better! That was a horrible horrible sickness!

AFM: I am a little better. I just feel really sore and stiff and when I move too much i get nauseated! When I was sick I must have done something with my neck because I can hardly bend it or turn it.
Cooper is still horribly cranky! He is still sick but no fever. His cough is worse and he is so congested!

BBL Anthony is running amuck and driving me batty!
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Old 02-08-2011, 08:18 AM   #37
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

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Elena, oh mama. Please, please feel free to PM me anytime, ok? While I agree that SAD can make things seem worse, the fact is your feelings about your DH and the situation is there. Have you tried counseling? Even if your DH won't agree to it, you can go yourself. I am only saying this bc if you are committed to staying, then you need support. If you stay just bc it's too hard to leave, you become more resentful. I wish I had done things a LOT different when I left, but I don't regret it. I was sad, sad, sad. Now I'm just poor. poor. poor.
at that last sentence, Jul, but thank you for saying this. There's a lot of times I don't want to leave. Actually, I never want to leave... I just am at a point right now where I really hate where I am. I don't feel happy, I don't feel appreciated by DH or any of the kids... well, except Levi... but that honestly doesn't count for much in the grand scheme of things! I feel like I'm walked on by everyone, a servant here to do everything for everyone, keep the household running and cleaned, and figure out how to stretch the $$ to cover everything... when it doesn't... which honestly baffles me because it should, thus making me feel like more of a failure.
The other night DH asked me what was wrong and when I fumbled through trying to say that I'm just sad and depressed with my life, he ended up rolling his eyes at me and walking away. Not very supportive.

I'll make it through. Warmer, nicer weather and getting outside for walks and playing at the park will help. But it's a long time until then.

I have thought about some sort of counselling... but I have a huge hurdle to overcome there because I was "taught" growing up (by my mother) that I was never to talk to anyone outside of the house about anything that was happening, like it was all a secret or something. Nothing was anyone's business. I don't necessarily agree, but it's hard to get past that barrier when I try, kwim?

Seriously, though (after all that blabbing, lol) thank you for writing that!

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However I meet more and more men recently that understand the value of the stay at home mom, in fact my neighbor told me "Don't ever devalue yourself for being a SAHM, it's a tough job" it was nice to hear.

Elena I agree with Jul on this one. I watched my mom stay because she didn't know what to do if she left....she is half the woman she used to be, and my sister has huge relationship issues because she saw my mom being walked over everyday for years. If you are going to stay you need some sort of help, be it counseling or something else.
The best things I've ever heard, honestly, were my MIL and Aunt-IL saying that they think I am a good mom and do a good job SAH (I overheard them though) and my own mom telling me that she doesn't know how I do it all - in a good way, I mean. But hearing that once or twice in 10yrs is... well... not quite enough.

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Elena - I know how you feel :hug: I have dark days where my mind wanders and I feel jealous, resentful, bitter, etc. I may have posted about this here before (or else it was in another forum) but have you read The Love Dare? You don't need to be on the brink of divorce for it to be effective, and I found it really helped me in my interactions with DH. :hug: These Canadian winters are long and lonely. Feel free to PM anytime.
I haven't read it myself, but have heard about it. Maybe I should add that to my list of books to read.

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Elena I can't give much advice because I think about "D" at least a few times a month but am in the same boat...no job, or anything! I can although offer

AFM: I am a little better. I just feel really sore and stiff and when I move too much i get nauseated! When I was sick I must have done something with my neck because I can hardly bend it or turn it.
Cooper is still horribly cranky! He is still sick but no fever. His cough is worse and he is so congested!
to you too Tamara, and more with all the sickies - I hope you feel lots better through today!
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Old 02-08-2011, 10:23 AM   #38
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

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Ugh I have the stomach flu and another blocked duct!


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Hi ladies -
I've read but I will admit I'm being totally self-involved right now. Sorry I haven't been on we haven't had internet for a whole month!

I was talking with my mom yesterday and she asked how we were and I said busy, Monday and Wednesday I teach and Tuesday and Thursday I have theater stuff. And she then asked "do you ever spend time with the kids" and I said yes 24/7 they are always with me, strapped to me, cuddling me, sleeping with me, my night time activities run about 2-3 hours a night. She then replied, no Meredith I mean quality time, not just cart them around and ignore them time, I meant is Henna using the potty like she should or are you ignoring her. WTF? Seriously - my family had NO IDEA what EC was prior to me having Zaylee Ann, and it has been a weird road with Henna but just because she's not fully and totally diaperless doesn't mean I don't spend time with my kids. Anyway so I'm having a rough day because I just told DH that I feel guilty for even doing anything for myself, and how I feel like a bad mom because I don't cater to everyone's wants right away because some days I can't - and then my mom tells me I'm being negletful because Henna isn't out of dipes yet. URG

Anyway Henna has 10 teeth, can walk but refuses to because she hates falling, and is using the potty at home but is scared to death of public toilets so I'm not pushing it.

I will try to be back on more and be less grumpy Have a good weekend!
Wow your mom sounds like a real peach You are a great mama!! Don't let her allow you to feel any different. Wow on the 10 teeth and walking!! That's amazing!

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Catching up!

Terra - the store sounds super fun!

Tamara - I wish you could catch a break, mama.

Meredith - 10 teeth? Wow!

Jul - I don't have much advice to give on K's belly trouble.

Elena - Can't wait for you to get the bECO. Our postal service here is always so slow. Mail doesn't even get to the post office until 4pm.

Not much else to report, so here are some pictures of my 8 month old girlie (already! yikes!)



Awe she is so pretty and I that dress

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Busy day indeed!
I still have Ruth's and my ponytails of hair, need to mail them to donate! Oi, and I just realized I don't think I ever posted pics of her hair cut for my mom.



Oh no Tamara!



Jeepers, than I am a horrible neglective mother, because Levi only wears diapers never uses the potty. at her for making you feel that way.


I can't believe Henna has 10 teeth?!!!!! Levi is just starting to get teeth now - I think I can see the left one (bottom front) just starting to break through his gum a teeny tiny bit.
And walking So not ready for that one, lol. Crawling all over is enough for now!



that girlie and her birthday dress, Jessica!!! You did a great job!

AFM: Blah. I'm so down lately and I'm hating it. It's been a couple weeks of it now and it just stinks. I know most of it is due to SAD, but there's not much I can do about that for another couple months - which certainly doesn't help. Part of it is finances, but there's not much we can do there either. I just hate getting to a point every year of having to decide which bills to pay, what to scrimp on, etc until tax return time so we can get back above water.
Today I decided to forgo church, just couldn't handle the thought of getting everyone ready, or even being there for it. I took Levi and went for groceries this afternoon - I got absolutely nothing done yesterday at all, though I meant to. I just got too bummed to do anything other than laundry and tidying around the house.
DH stayed home with the older kids and was going to take them for skating this afternoon - when I got home I could see that the van hadn't been moved at all. He didn't bother taking them. I hate that he lays around reading and playing video games all the time.

That's a big part of my down-ness as well, DH's laziness and his acting like I do nothing, he does everything, etc. I'm just tired of hearing and feeling it.
Honestly, a lot of days I feel like things are not good at all between us... and I feel like I'm the only one who feels it.
There's no question of me leaving - I have no education, I couldn't get any job worth anything or pay for anything at all, and I wouldn't want the kids to have to deal with all that - but staying is really depressing.

just venting, sorry.
Awe Elena I hope this is just a bump in the road that you guys are able to work through

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Jess you took the words right out of my mouth! That is exactly how I feel ALL.THE.TIME! DH will never get it about being a SAHM! Even if he had to do it...he is too arrogant to admit that it is tough work! On a side note though he did finally clean the kitchen (3 days later and did again last night, he also did some laundry)

Elena I can't give much advice because I think about "D" at least a few times a month but am in the same boat...no job, or anything! I can although offer

Mer what horrible things for oyur mom to say! I am sorry!
Wowzers at Henna too...10 teeth, walking and all that stuff! Jeepers, seems like time just flew by! Seems like yesterday we were all talking about when we would go into labor and how cruddy we all felt!

Jul I am feeling a tad better. I need to get groceries today so I must be a little better! That was a horrible horrible sickness!

AFM: I am a little better. I just feel really sore and stiff and when I move too much i get nauseated! When I was sick I must have done something with my neck because I can hardly bend it or turn it.
Cooper is still horribly cranky! He is still sick but no fever. His cough is worse and he is so congested!

BBL Anthony is running amuck and driving me batty!
Glad you are feeling a bit better. Poor Cooper though!! Livia is still snotty and cranky too. no cough though!

AFM: Meh not a ton going on. My 6 (7 the end of the month) year old has turned into a compulsive Liar My 2 yo has decided that he needs to be really loud and obnoxious to be heard over his sisters and my 7 month old has Thrush Again, and has passed to me thrush again! She also bit down so hard on my nipple that I bled and it continues to open and bleed

I guess another storm is coming through so i got to get to wally world, Best buy and Aldi today. Oh and I lost my Drivers license. It was from IL and I don't have a TX one so yeah I am pretty screwed. I need my birth certificate from California to get a TX drivers license and I need a notorized document saying I am me, to get the birth Certificate but can't prove I am me to the notary because I don't have a picture ID WTF? So Um yeah, not sure what I am going to do
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Old 02-08-2011, 11:17 AM   #39
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

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Awe Elena I hope this is just a bump in the road that you guys are able to work through

AFM: Meh not a ton going on. My 6 (7 the end of the month) year old has turned into a compulsive Liar My 2 yo has decided that he needs to be really loud and obnoxious to be heard over his sisters and my 7 month old has Thrush Again, and has passed to me thrush again! She also bit down so hard on my nipple that I bled and it continues to open and bleed

I guess another storm is coming through so i got to get to wally world, Best buy and Aldi today. Oh and I lost my Drivers license. It was from IL and I don't have a TX one so yeah I am pretty screwed. I need my birth certificate from California to get a TX drivers license and I need a notorized document saying I am me, to get the birth Certificate but can't prove I am me to the notary because I don't have a picture ID WTF? So Um yeah, not sure what I am going to do
Thanks Terra, I'm sure it is, just gets to me sometimes. *sigh*

I SO know exactly what you're dealing with with the lying child Zech has had troubles with lying for the past year or so and we're really working on dealing with it and stopping it. We actually did try, a couple weeks ago, finding a special memory verse for each of the kids, one focusing on something they're having troubles with - for Zech, we found one dealing with lying (The Lord despises lying lips but He delights in men who are truthful. Proverbs 12:22... I think... it's his memory verse, not mine, lol!). We have him say it every night before bed, and we remind him of it if we know he's telling a lie. It really has helped him a ton with being able to stop!
Not saying you would have to use a bible verse, just the idea of maybe finding something that she could remember to have in her mind to help stop herself? If that makes any sense, lol.

Umm... yeesh. Good luck with all the ID/birth certificate/DL stuff. I have no clue how to work around all those hoops. :/

Jessica - Got the Beco today!!

I tried it this morning, though only for 15 minutes or so, front carry as Levi was getting tired and prefers to cuddle me when so. I tried first like with the Ergo - straps over my shoulders, had to use the extra clip as the straps wouldn't stay on without it (like with the Ergo). Then I remembered and tried crossing the straps on my back - SO much better!
I still think the padded waist strap isn't a fav for me... I think it might be a better fit (padded waists in general, not just the beco) if they were narrower?
But even after just that long, for front carry I would definitely choose the Beco over the Ergo.

AFM: Adding to that, I think I may like the BH over both though! I don't know why I love it, but I do so very much!

And, Levi is getting his first tooth! and all at the same time - I am really soaking up my gummy grins in these last couple days!
This week I've noticed something going on with his gums, and last night I could feel the very top of the tooth coming through - just that teeny sharp bumpiness, kwim? Today it's still there. I can't see the tooth yet when just looking at Levi, but I can just see the edge of it when I look really close.
I know he'll be cute even with teeth, lol!
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Old 02-08-2011, 12:00 PM   #40
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Re: JuneBugs - Valentine's Chat Thread! (February)

Hey mamas. You wouldn't believe me if I told you I read multiple times a day most days...just never respond anymore

To all the hubby issues:::: I can't imagine if my hubby wasn't supportive. He is an awesome guy! Very rarely ever get mad at each other. Hope it's just a down because if it is there is always an up!

Terra: Cool store...would you ever add kawaii's? I kawaii's. All we use right now if BGE's and prefolds and wool but I can't let go of my kawaii's because I will use them all summer when Addi can wear dresses again.

AFM: Addi has been sick. It got to where when we would hold her we could feel the congestion in her chest so we took her in just to be safe. Doc said she was fine, just a nasty cold. But that her ears/throat/lungs all seemed fine. She weighs 13.6 lbs. He did show some concern and wants us back in 2 weeks for a weight check. She is now like a -10% on the growth charts. He said that developmentally she seems fine though. He does want to see her gain a little bit of weight though. He said to give her the baby cereal at least once a day for the iron in it. So I bought the first box ever and have been mixing a little with fruit and giving it to her. I hate doing it that way because I like her to feed herself when we are home but she is not ready to feed herself the cereal. So baby oatmeal and half a jar of baby fruit it is...at least for a little bit.

Still no teeth here. Still no crawling either. The doc was surprised at how well she uses her fingers to pick teeny things up And that she can lean so so far and then sit back up with no issues. He doens't think it will be too much longer before she may crawl. I think she could if she had any want/need too, she could just care less

EMT class is going. I am really not liking it but tomorrow we start with hands on stuff instead of just the boring book work so hopefully it will pick up now. It takes so much time away from home that I am a little annoyed with it. It is mon wed fri from 6:30-9:30pm and 8am-6pm on Sat. I wish it was just Mon-Fri nights so we could have Sat!

The job is getting pretty stressful today as well. It's the before school program. We have about 30 kids k-5th grade for 2 hours. We are not aloud to punish them at all, can't take phones away or make them sit along the wall for a few minutes to cool down or anything. It is so irritating because they walk all over us and all we can do is say not to. We always do a project for the last 45mins (when we have most of the kids) and half of them don't want to do it anymore and they are not required to. Very frustrating!
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[CENTER]~Shannon~Mama to Addisyn 6.6.10 and Ryan 1.22.12
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