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Old 02-11-2011, 05:43 AM   #1
mandymatus
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pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

please help! i am in need of encouragement. i have a 5 month old girl and am 8 weeks pregnant. she is teething and i know this is adding to the frustration. she's waking in the night crying. she's been a bear to deal with during the day and i'm exhausted! i also have yet another cold. my issue is that since i am so tired i've been thinking more and more about CIO....i've pretty much started nursing her to sleep because i have no energy. i really really disagree with CIO and don't think i can do it, but at the same time i'm at my whits end and don't know how i'm going to make it through the day sometimes! please help!

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Old 02-11-2011, 06:00 AM   #2
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Re: pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

Firstly congrats on the pregnancy! And can I say I'm a tad jealous you were able to get pregnant so easily while nursing...

But onto your post... mama. I know it's so hard and very tempting to resort to CIO when things are tough and you are exhausted. I would say if you feel that you are at your wits end and have to walk out of the room because you are so frustrated that you need to calm down... do not worry that you will cause your baby permanent damage by the occasional leaving them to cry. As for using it as a way to getting them to sleep longer or better, I have to say that I also just don't agree with it. Firstly I am not sure it really works, and secondly if it does, I am not sure it is good for them. But you probably know all that already, I am sure I don't need to explain it. It sounds like you just need encouragement and support and to know you are making the right choice in being sensitive to your baby's needs. Your baby is only 5 months old, and at this point she needs you. Is there a problem in nursing her to sleep? I have done it with both mine throughout the first year and I promise it did not lead to any major sleep issues. They just seemed to gradually grow out of needing the boob to sleep anyway, so if it is working and you are getting more rest, then just go for it IMO. I know you might be worried what will happen when the new baby comes and you need to get this one on a routine etc etc... but there is still plenty of time. They change SO much in the first year, and then after that they start to settle down a lot into a routine naturally by themselves, so you still have time for that to happen. For us between 5-10 months was the worst for sleep for both our babies, then they magically hit 11-12 months and started sleeping through, with no real extra effort on our part. So my feeling is to just keep going with your instincts and let her settle into her own rhythm. It takes time, and it is tempting to go with a quick-fix solution, esp when you have other people telling you how great it is and how well it works- but your baby is only little once, and she is just SO young still... you're doing a great job, the best you can do... don't give up! Nothing is forever, the sleep deprivation is not forever, and they grow up so so fast, it's just not worth it to let them cry.
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Old 02-11-2011, 06:21 AM   #3
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Re: pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

I agree with the pp. I know it's hard, I have baby right now who is not sleeping, and dealing with the other kids is exhausting!! But it will pass, just like my other kids did, she will eventually sleep better. Can you enlist dh's help so you can get some rest? Maybe pump a bottle? Can someone come over to play and hold he during the day so you can nap? Will she nap with you?
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Old 02-11-2011, 06:40 AM   #4
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Re: pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

hang in there mama, i remember being preg with my 1.5 yr old it was hard but adjust your routine however you need to sometimes just minor adjustments and it'll all be fine
oh and no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantely is superb!
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Old 02-11-2011, 06:53 AM   #5
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Re: pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

Well said, jeebee.

to you mama... I am dealing with sleep issues with my 6 1/2 month old so I can really relate. It is emotionally and physically exhausting, and I can't imagine being pregnant at the same time. Teething is terrible for them when it comes to sleep. My guy was up so much at night during the worst of it! Poor things.

Try to get some help if you can. Sleep whenever possible. Take a nap with your baby! Don't worry about nursing to sleep right now. Just comfort your baby, do whatever you can to get rest and get the most amount of sleep for both of you.

This, too, shall pass.
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Old 02-11-2011, 10:23 AM   #6
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Re: pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

thank you so much for your all's encouragement! i might have to print the posts and put them in her room! it's so hard when all my friends do CIO! i feel like i have no one to talk to. i am trying to rest or sleep whenever she is asleep (though her naps are not very long--she seems to me to be an energetic baby) i do fall asleep nursing her most times throughout the night, so that helps too. i guess it seems to me that everyone makes nursing a baby to sleep after first few months a crime! it does make my life easier right now and i do worry at times having that plus a newborn, but you all are right she will be totally different baby by then! thanks a ton everyone!
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Old 02-11-2011, 10:31 AM   #7
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Re: pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

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Originally Posted by jeebee View Post
Firstly congrats on the pregnancy! And can I say I'm a tad jealous you were able to get pregnant so easily while nursing...

But onto your post... mama. I know it's so hard and very tempting to resort to CIO when things are tough and you are exhausted. I would say if you feel that you are at your wits end and have to walk out of the room because you are so frustrated that you need to calm down... do not worry that you will cause your baby permanent damage by the occasional leaving them to cry. As for using it as a way to getting them to sleep longer or better, I have to say that I also just don't agree with it. Firstly I am not sure it really works, and secondly if it does, I am not sure it is good for them. But you probably know all that already, I am sure I don't need to explain it. It sounds like you just need encouragement and support and to know you are making the right choice in being sensitive to your baby's needs. Your baby is only 5 months old, and at this point she needs you. Is there a problem in nursing her to sleep? I have done it with both mine throughout the first year and I promise it did not lead to any major sleep issues. They just seemed to gradually grow out of needing the boob to sleep anyway, so if it is working and you are getting more rest, then just go for it IMO. I know you might be worried what will happen when the new baby comes and you need to get this one on a routine etc etc... but there is still plenty of time. They change SO much in the first year, and then after that they start to settle down a lot into a routine naturally by themselves, so you still have time for that to happen. For us between 5-10 months was the worst for sleep for both our babies, then they magically hit 11-12 months and started sleeping through, with no real extra effort on our part. So my feeling is to just keep going with your instincts and let her settle into her own rhythm. It takes time, and it is tempting to go with a quick-fix solution, esp when you have other people telling you how great it is and how well it works- but your baby is only little once, and she is just SO young still... you're doing a great job, the best you can do... don't give up! Nothing is forever, the sleep deprivation is not forever, and they grow up so so fast, it's just not worth it to let them cry.
This is a great post! I feel compelled to chime in and mention that I nursed DD (she was 5.5 months when I conceived) while I was pg with DS2 and my supply took a hit in spite of the constant nursing, etc. I was clueless as I always attributed her desire for constant nursing and night waking to be related to teething or illness or separation anxiety or or or. I read and read that my body should do just fine and I should keep nursing. In reality the VAST majority of those who nurse while pg are nursing a toddler who eats a lot of solid foods. It wasn't until she lost over a pound of weight around 7 months that it dawned on me that she wasn't getting enough milk from me.

Once we started supplementing with formula, we night weaned from the nursing and we all slept better-in the same bed.
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Old 02-11-2011, 10:49 AM   #8
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Re: pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

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Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post
This is a great post! I feel compelled to chime in and mention that I nursed DD (she was 5.5 months when I conceived) while I was pg with DS2 and my supply took a hit in spite of the constant nursing, etc. I was clueless as I always attributed her desire for constant nursing and night waking to be related to teething or illness or separation anxiety or or or. I read and read that my body should do just fine and I should keep nursing. In reality the VAST majority of those who nurse while pg are nursing a toddler who eats a lot of solid foods. It wasn't until she lost over a pound of weight around 7 months that it dawned on me that she wasn't getting enough milk from me.

Once we started supplementing with formula, we night weaned from the nursing and we all slept better-in the same bed.
yes! i've def been on the lookout for that! but every diaper is wet (about 7-8 per day), and she doesn't seem to have lost weight, though i suppose i should be weighing her? how else would i tell if she's getting enough?
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Old 02-11-2011, 11:19 AM   #9
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Re: pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

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yes! i've def been on the lookout for that! but every diaper is wet (about 7-8 per day), and she doesn't seem to have lost weight, though i suppose i should be weighing her? how else would i tell if she's getting enough?
I hope I didn't come across as alarmist or anything. With DD she was still wetting fine. I didn't notice her losing weight as babies tend to grow up as they start crawling and she was crawling on all 4 at 5.5 months and pulling up. I assumed that her body shape was changing since she was so active. It also happened gradually so the difference wasn't dramatic to someone who looked at her every day.

She did have issues with super hard bowel movements that she had to work really hard to pass. I assumed it was due to eating too much/the wrong kind of solids (started her on rice cereal at between 5 and 6 months as she was showing physical readiness) or something. It never occurred to me that it was a sign of dehydration from not enough breast milk.

She was on top of her milestones and developing fine. She's 3.5 now and healthy as a horse, well adjusted, a typical preschool picky eater (no eating issues as a result of "starving" for a few important months), and you never would know it was an issue.

If I had to go back and do it again, I think I'd have gotten DD's weight checked every 1-2 weeks-just to make sure. That was the only sure-fire measurable, concrete way to monitor it for me. My ped's office is great with weight checks. You just come into the well-baby entrance and tell the receptionist who grabs a nurse with a scale-no charge.

It is entirely possible that it won't be an issue for you at all and that would be so awesome!
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Old 02-11-2011, 12:26 PM   #10
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Re: pregnant, exhausted and about to resort to CIO

is it because your supply has tanked and she's hungry? I think it might be worth giving her a few oz of formula in the middle of the night or before bedtime to see if it makes a difference. Pregnancy hormones can cause a major drop in supply.
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