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Old 02-12-2011, 12:55 PM   #1
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Question about Pregnancy

I have a friend who has a history of having 1 miscarriage. One week ago she found out she is expecting her 1st child. She has been feeling uneasy, anxious and scared due to her history. I reassured her and told her she is going to be fine and to relax. She has all these "What if's" questions. One question she asked me was "If I am not experiencing any symptoms of a miscarriage, I should be okay, right?" My response was "I will pray for you and your baby." My question is, how do you respond to that?

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Old 02-12-2011, 02:28 PM   #2
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Re: Question about Pregnancy

I had a miscarriage with my first, too, and it forever changes you. There's not a whole lot you can do except tell her to take it one day at a time, and try to enjoy her baby for each day that she is pregnant (this of course gets much easier once you can feel kicks).
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Old 02-12-2011, 03:06 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by linzbear
I had a miscarriage with my first, too, and it forever changes you. There's not a whole lot you can do except tell her to take it one day at a time, and try to enjoy her baby for each day that she is pregnant (this of course gets much easier once you can feel kicks).
I agree with the above. I had two miscarriages in a row before this pregnancy and I did nothing but worry until I started feeling him kick. This may be TMi but I would check the toilet paper for blood every time I went to bathroom. I dont think you will ever really get over it. Like the PP said it forever changes you. Just tell her to try to relax and take it easy and many women go on to have healthy pregnancies after losses. to your friend.
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Old 02-12-2011, 04:41 PM   #4
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Re: Question about Pregnancy

There's no way to stop being scared. It will (or won't) come in its own time for her. Best you can do is let her know that you'll be there to listen if she needs to talk... and acknowledge that her fears are completely valid, though they don't mean a bad end to things this time around.

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Old 02-12-2011, 04:42 PM   #5
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Re: Question about Pregnancy

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaSarahMay View Post
I agree with the above. I had two miscarriages in a row before this pregnancy and I did nothing but worry until I started feeling him kick. This may be TMi but I would check the toilet paper for blood every time I went to bathroom. I dont think you will ever really get over it. Like the PP said it forever changes you. Just tell her to try to relax and take it easy and many women go on to have healthy pregnancies after losses. to your friend.
I do this out of habit now. I've lost 4 and yes, it forever changes your life.

You could also tell her to trust her body, relax and pamper herself.
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Old 02-12-2011, 05:33 PM   #6
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Re: Question about Pregnancy

I've never experienced a miscarriage, and I still check the TP every time I wipe. It's scary thinking about losing a pregnancy, and losing a child. You really just can't dwell on it. You will drive yourself insane thinking about all the what ifs.

Pregnancy is one of the few times I think people should just assume the best, and don't even think about the bad. What will happen will happen. Assume it will be a happy bouncy baby and enjoy your pregnancy!

Isn't the chance of a miscarriage 1 in 4? DH and I are planning on many children, and we were talking about something the other day, and he mentioned statistically, before our child having days are over, we will have a miscarriage. It's sobering, and a little scary, but it happens. Just be kind to your friend and help her pick out colors for the nursery.
I know all women are different, and some wait until 12 or 20 or more weeks before "getting attached" but that's silly... Enjoy your time, even if it's too short.
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Old 02-12-2011, 05:41 PM   #7
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Re: Question about Pregnancy

Thank you ladies I am going to continue to reassure her. I myself have never had a miscarriage, I can only imagine how it feels.
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Old 02-12-2011, 05:54 PM   #8
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Re: Question about Pregnancy

A midwife told me I was having a missed miscarriage when I was 7 weeks along in my pregnancy and even that was enough to change my mindset about the whole thing. Even after seeing the heartbeat at 8 weeks I always had it in the back of my mind that the baby wasn't going to make it - all the way up until he was born.

The best thing to calm me down for the rest of the pregnancy was a cheap doppler ($30) my BFF got me off Amazon. Any time I was having weird feelings before I could feel the kicks or even after kicks started if I didn't feel them for a day then I would break out the doppler and put my mind at ease. I highly recommend them for anyone who is feeling unsure about things but doesn't want to run to their OB every time they get scared.
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