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Old 02-12-2011, 02:44 PM   #11
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Re: How many children?

Dh wanted one or two. We actively ttc ds1, then got pregnant unexpectedly with ds2 when ds1 was 4 months old. Dh was totally done, and didn't want anymore. I was ok with that and we were agreeing to have just two when I became pregnant again. We lost that baby when I was 16 weeks pregnant due to a late miscarriage. At this point, I realized how much I wanted another baby. So after some healing we ttc ds3. Now he is 9 mos old and I think I am pregnant again. I do not want any more children, but of course every baby is a blessing, and I am sure if I am, this one will fit right in. What's one more?

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Old 02-12-2011, 02:46 PM   #12
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Re: How many children?

DH and I talked about kids and pretty much decided how many before we where married. We knew we wanted a big family for many reasons. It was just me and my sis growing up and we lived for when our cousins visited, there where 12 of us then. My Grams & Papa had 8. DH grew up 1 of 5 but his parents actually had 6. The oldest died in a drowning accident. And DH Uncle & Aunt have 10 kids. So we decided we wanted between 5 and 10 though I'd still love 12. We have 6 now and DH says he's done. Though every once in awhile he admits that after we buy a home he may change his mind and we could go for 1 or 2 more. LOL

Also before having the kids we decide we wanted them to share rooms. It wont matter if we have a mansion the girls will all be in one room and the boys all in another. We believe it fosters sibling relationships and family unity. Yes there is squabbling but that is a fact of life with siblings. Having them in the same rooms makes them problem solve rather than hide and ignore. We're curently in a 4 bedroom house and the 4th bedroom is set up as a office with 2 desks, a drawing table and all the art and home work stuff.

Our kids currently have bunk beds but we have plans for triple high bunks. Still deciding if they'll be full size or twin. Our twin DDs still sleep together, there bottom bunk is a full right now. And our 4yo keeps making our 10yo sleep with him. Which is pretty crowded since that bottom bunk is a twin. So I'm leaning toward the slightly wider full size. Our kids hate trundles. They wont sleep on them at all, so they are out.

As for paying for college we know there's always a way. We can use DH life ins or retirement fund and of course we'll be having our kids pursue many scholarships. DH will keep working and once all the kids are older I'll most likely get at least a part time job of some sort to fill the time and bulk savings.

We'll treat our kids the way my mom has my sister and I. Any time they need help they'll get it weather it's fir school or not. And it wont stop when they hit a certain age or graduate from a certain level of education. My mom still demands that we take $$ from her and let her help us when we are struggling or have bills. She says she'll always be our mom and that being a parent never stops. Why should helping with $$ if she can?

We also know all our kids wont go to college like most think of it. Several have expressed interest in fallowing their father and Uncle into the CHP which costs nothing. They in fact get a payed salary while at the academe. Our oldest wants to sing and write music. She'll most likely got to a vocational school like Musicians Institute. While it's college it's lower cost and less years. Since we have family in LA she'll stay with them and that will cut her housing cost.

So like I said there is always a way. I have very few fears about my kids futures.
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Old 02-12-2011, 02:47 PM   #13
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Re: How many children?

I don't know how many children I want, but I will NOT have an only child, and I don't want any more than 3(I just wouldn't have the patience). So, that gives us the option of 2 or 3.

I grew up in a family of 4 children, two boys and twin girls. I saw the toll it took on my mother, the fighting, the jealousy, juggling activities, etc. So I'd never want four or more. Kudos to any mom that can have that many children, still be sane AND a good mother. I couldn't.

We do not plan on paying anything for college. We might help with a first car a little bit. IF we are in the financial position, AFTER they are out of school, earned their degree and are making payments on student loans, we might help them out, but I would NEVER pay tuition. We really aren't concerned with how we will help provide for their adult choices, so that doesn't play a part in my wanting a smaller family. I want two boys for sure. If we had a third, I'd want a girl. Girl would have her own room, I think the boys could share. But, three is also probably a small enough number that it wouldn't be too outrageous for each child to have their own room either, so that's nice.

Oh, and DH and I both agree absolutely no more than 3, though I don't think he wants any more than 2. I'd probably be happy with two anyway.
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Old 02-12-2011, 03:18 PM   #14
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Re: How many children?

I have three. Circumstances being what they are I will probably only have 3. If the circumstances were different I would want one more. As far as sharing rooms, right now my oldest two share a room and LO sleeps with us but she has her own room for her stuff. When she gets older I will probably have all three share the upstairs room as it already has 3 beds in it and it is absolutely humongous. Then YDD's room will be a den. I think it's really important for kids to learn to share. No offense to other personal opinions, but I don't buy into the whole "personal space" bit. Kids have been sharing rooms, heck whole families have shared rooms for hundreds of years and they all turned out just fine! :b There is plenty of time during the day for kids to go into their shared room individually and get some peace and quiet. That's what I do when I want space. Either that or I go to starbucks!
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Old 02-12-2011, 03:38 PM   #15
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Re: How many children?

We have our one DD now, and both agree we'd like another. I've always thought 2, 3 max. I'd pay for their college tuition as well and support at a certain level yet to be determined, but certainly not 100 percent for room & board unless it's dorms.
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Old 02-12-2011, 03:52 PM   #16
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Re: How many children?

I have it in my head that I want 4, but that could change in the future. I wanted a second one as soon as DD started weaning. Perhaps that will happen again next time as well.

Whether or not we can support our children through college does not factor into our decisions. My parents were never in a financial position to pay for my college education, and I don't exactly sit here thinking "well they shouldn't have had me" you know. If we ARE in the position, we will help. But we are still not in a financial state to be sure we can.

I don't mind the idea of my children sharing rooms, although I will be same sex separating them at a certain age (maybe 5? I don't know), so we will need 3 bedrooms for sure. I would like to have a fourth bedroom for guests. But we aren't in the stage in our life yet where we can go out and buy a house.

Financially, I suppose I would like to have enough so that we can put some money into various savings each month. Ie. I do not want to live paycheck to paycheck, and would prefer that adding children does not cause us to.
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Old 02-12-2011, 03:53 PM   #17
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Re: How many children?

I want 3, DH wants 2. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I WANT 3, but that being said, I only want to if we have enough money to do so. I want to be able to do things for my kids that cost money (getting involved in classes, sports, different activities, ect.) I want them to be able to have their own bedroom and I want to be able to help each to go to college, or help them out if they get in a bind. If we don't have the income to do that for 3, then we'll have 2. DH wants 2 mainly out of money - but I think we'll have enough for 3
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Old 02-12-2011, 06:22 PM   #18
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Re: How many children?

We got married when DS1 was 15 months old and I was one week past conceiving DS2 (unknown to us). We settled on 2 kids and discussing more after the 2nd was a year old. I always have wanted 4 but DH has always pictured himself with 2. When DS1 turned one year old we talked and decided to just stick with two kids. A week after that discussion I found out that I was already pregnant, no wonder I was so at ease with saying i was fine with two kids.

As for sharing rooms, we have four bedrooms so no one has to share BUT they will share. Once the baby moves out of our room, DS2 will move in with DS1. We feel that sharing a room would only benefit them and help them learn to compromise and be less selfish in the future.

As for college, we will pay what we can. Take loans on what we can and expect our children to work as hard as possible to get scholarships if possible. I expect my children to work for things they want, not have everything handed to them.
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Old 02-12-2011, 07:10 PM   #19
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Re: How many children?

The question of kids came up very early in my relationship with DH. I always said I wanted at least 2, and once we had 2, we'd decide from there if there were going to be any more. Part of me thinks 2 is all I want. Part of me isn't sure, but I think the older I get the door for a larger family than 4 is closing. We havn't concieved #2 yet (though not from lack of trying), I'm already in my 30s, and DH is closing in on 40.
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Old 02-12-2011, 07:12 PM   #20
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Re: How many children?

We have 6 and are done unless we have an oops..but I feel done, I am SOOOO over breastfeeding and waking at night and diapers and staying home.
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