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Old 03-19-2007, 06:57 PM   #11
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

We don't say the word no in our house very often. I don't like the word and I find that most parents repeat it ad naseum and it loses its value. Instead, when Lily is trying to grab something she shouldn't, I say "just loooking please". If she is trying to eat something she shouldn't, I say "just touching please" or "touching only because _____________". I try and explain things to her because I really believe that she does understand words as they are said, or at least the general idea. From the point of view of a child, they don't understand that they would be doing anything wrong. I don't like to say "careful" or "watch it" or anything to her because its insinuating that she isn't using care in what she does, which is totally not true. She's just a curious 1 year old!
Okay well now I'm rambling, but the point of what I was trying to say is that I try and explain things to her instead of just saying No so that she has an understanding of what is going on and it helps guide her through life. I feel like its no good for her if all she knows is that you don't touch the stove in the kitchen in our house, but how is that going to help her in life? It's not. I'd rather her understand what it is about a stove or other hot things that make them not safe to touch, etc.

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Old 03-19-2007, 07:09 PM   #12
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

Ditto the others. I really sit back and try to decide what is really an issue and what he can do, even if I'd rather him not for my convienance, safely. If he goes after something he shouldn't have, I simply try to distract him or remove him from the situation. I personally say "no" WAY too much and am constantly trying hard to overcome that. He's a very active boy, so I spend my entire day trying to get him to focus on things he can have, and away from things he shouldn't have. It's wearing, but I'm sure we'll get there eventually.
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Old 03-19-2007, 07:28 PM   #13
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

Redirection is just another word for distraction. Try to distract them with some other activity. Also, if it's just an attention getting ploy and you aren't able to redirect, you can just walk away if she's in a safe place. There's usually no point for the behavior if there is no audience. Even at 1, they understand this. I agree that at 1 they do not really have an understanding of discipline and delayed effect. You would have better luck using time out with a 3 yo (maybe sooner, depending on the child).
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Old 03-19-2007, 07:59 PM   #14
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

What everyone else said--3 y/o for time outs. Redirection and 1-3 word explanations for now, like 'Ouch' for reaching for the knife, then handing her something else instead. Or 'Speak kindly' when talking back'--but doing it in the tone you want her to use, then changing whatever you're doing that's making her have an attitude.
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Old 03-19-2007, 08:10 PM   #15
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

My son is 13 months. When he is doing things he shouldn't, I tell him NO and redirect his attention to other things. He truly understands NO now and will stop pretty much the instant I tell him. Not saying he won't try again in 10 seconds, but he stops then. He also understands and repeats HOT for the stove and now just looks and says HOT? We started timeouts w/ my daughter (who is now 4) at around 18 months. By the time she was 18 months, she was capable of speaking in sentences, holding a conversation and expressing abstract ideas, so I though she was ready to comprehend time outs. They worked and she understood!
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Old 03-20-2007, 01:49 AM   #16
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

My DD went through a pulling my hair period. She thought it was funny but it really hurt. I also didn't want her to be THAT kid on the playground being a bully to other kids. So we told her "we don't pully mommy's hair because it hurts her and gives her owies and if you pull mommy's hair again you will not get to use your hands" then try and redirect her. She would then do it again and we would put her hands in a "time out" per say. Basically hold her hands for a minute so she would stop. It took a couple of times, but then she stopped and has never done it again.

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Old 03-20-2007, 09:42 AM   #17
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

I am curious about this too. My 14 month old is in a major hitting/biting phase, and I don't know how to deal with it. I say no and remove him from the situation, but then he usually hits me? Even in my strictest voice, he doesn't take me seriously, which I don't know how to fix. SOrry for the thread hijack.
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Old 03-20-2007, 04:58 PM   #18
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

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I say no and remove him from the situation, but then he usually hits me? Even in my strictest voice, he doesn't take me seriously, which I don't know how to fix.
Yeah, thats where I fear we're headed.
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Old 03-20-2007, 05:00 PM   #19
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

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Also, if it's just an attention getting ploy and you aren't able to redirect, you can just walk away if she's in a safe place. There's usually no point for the behavior if there is no audience. Even at 1, they understand this.
I think this was kind of what I meant by time out. Like dh insists that if she's yelling and throwing things for no reason, we should just put her in the playpen until she calms down. It has seemed to work the few times hes done it.
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Old 03-20-2007, 10:41 PM   #20
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Re: "disciplining" a 1 yr old

And DS throws tantrums. Like big, major tantrums. Throwing himself on the floor, screaming, tantrums. Sometimes I think it's about something reasonable, like he doesn't understand about his dad going to work, so he will do it in the morning because he misses him, and then I just try to comfort him and be there for him, and find something for him to do. But sometimes it's totally out of left field. For me anyway. I guess he has reasons for it, and since he's preverbal it can be very frustrating, because he knows what he wants, just not how to get it. We sign, but he's just slowly picking up on it. My child is the definition of the high needs/spirited child, so I try to keep it all in perspective, but it's SO HARD! Ah, that felt better.
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