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Old 02-16-2011, 05:49 PM   #21
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Re: UC...please help me

I agree with Active Birth, a really great book. You should also get She Births, it's really inspirational. Like I said, I've homebirthed, and it was AMAZING, tons better than my first birth which was in the hospital, and I'm planning another homebirth. I really think the best thing to do is to talk to a Midwife with your DH.

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Old 02-16-2011, 05:49 PM   #22
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Re: UC...please help me

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Originally Posted by Fishie Kisses View Post
wow, thank you for turning my question into an argument.
Where was the question? I didn't see anything with a question mark.

You were suggesting to the reader that we give our opinions. I gave mine. Educate yourself, which you have clearly not done, then make a decision.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:50 PM   #23
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Re: UC...please help me

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I've had a homebirth almost a year ago now, and planning another one (not pregnant yet though). If your DH is afraid of a homebirth then he should probably talk to a Midwife with you and let her address his fears. Although I support all choices, I'm really leary about a UC for a few reasons-

1. Your DH is not even on board with a homebirth attended by a MW. So I don't think he's going to be keen about the idea of a UC

2. Things can go wrong in a birth in any setting, which is why it's best to have a trained eye on you just in case something is going wrong that you're not seeing.

3. If you're counting on your DH to support you during labor and birth, then he needs to be on board too

I understand that money is a problem, but I don't think you should pick your birth place based on that. You should call a few Midwives and see what they can do for you. Most Midwives are very flexable about their payments.
Totally agree.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:51 PM   #24
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Re: UC...please help me

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I understand that money is a problem, but I don't think you should pick your birth place based on that. You should call a few Midwives and see what they can do for you. Most Midwives are very flexable about their payments.
1. I totally agree with Vegan Cupcake. If there are complications in a birth or someone dies (in birth or just in general in life, blame helps no-one).

2. I also agree you should call around and ask about rates. Explain your situation. My midwife has low-income rates and would probably assist a birth for free if she felt someone was in need. She also has flexible rates and a payment plan.

3. If I have any more children, they will only be born at home, without drugs.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:53 PM   #25
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Re: UC...please help me

Have you actually tried to contact any midwives? I'm willing to bet that if there is a hb mw in your area that they would be willing to work with you on a payment plan. I personally wouldn't UC just because you never know what could happen but if you can find someone who is willing to attend a HB and you're close enough to a hospital that a transfer would be life saving I'd go down that road.

And @apurkeyp - it isn't nice to pull the dead baby card like that. You don't get your point across because the person that you're talking to is probably going to be automatically shut down to what you had to say. Especially since you said it, argued some and then posted an almost useless chart. If you're going to say that have something more than a history as a nurse to back you up.

Maybe if you had something more than a chart for another country people would listen to you. And they do(-ish) track this in the US, it's just most people don't reference the studies because they are skewed towards a hospital birth being safer. That being said - I'm surprised that you didn't use that as part of your evidence.

Yes, UC can be dangerous but if someone is looking down that path already you need to talk them into turning around, not just tell them that they'll be ok in a county hospital for 24hrs.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:53 PM   #26
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Re: UC...please help me

Please lets be sensitive to everyone and not argue.

There are 2 mamas I can think of on DS that have both recently lost babies during home-births, and I sure there are some that have lost babies at hospitals recently as well, but PLEASE be sensitive as these mamas may be reading.

For the OP:
Its really up to you, but consider your hubbys feelings as well, ultimately the choice is yours.

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Old 02-16-2011, 05:55 PM   #27
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Re: UC...please help me

I've had 5 UC's and 2 other out of hospital births (1 midwife attended homebirth and 1 freestanding birth center). Feel free to pm me with any questions, but I do agree that you should really have your dh on board.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:55 PM   #28
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Re: UC...please help me

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Originally Posted by Fishie Kisses View Post
wow, thank you for turning my question into an argument.
It was really uncalled for. I saw your other thread today, I'm sure you have had a bad day and this doesn't help

FWIW, I think you should meet with a MW and let your DH ask any questions he can think of. My DH was totally freaked about homebirth before he met our midwife we had with our 2nd baby. Usually the financial part can be worked out, some midwives may even except trades of some sort. I do totally support a woman's right to UC if they choose and are educated about it. If you would feel more comfortable with the watchful eyes of a midwife though, I highly suggest you try to find a way to go that route. UC is not something that I think someone should choose without a lot of introspective thinking, research and a supportive partner. Good luck mama, I hope everything works out for you
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:55 PM   #29
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Re: UC...please help me

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Homebirth!!! If there is (but most likely won't be!) an emergency, then you're in the ER anyways, and they cannot admit you because you have a lack of funds. I agree that saying your baby will die etc is nothing but a scare tactic. If you feel healthy, then I think all signs point to a problem-less delivery - ESPECIALLY since you've done this before and you know what you're getting yourself into. You know your body better than anybody else does, and you know how to listen to it! Women have been birthing "at home" or "in the bush" for a bazillion years and most of the world still does that. Do you have any other mama friends that would be able to hang out with you during labor and delivery?

I had a fantastic home birth experience about 3 1/2 months ago. My midwife has a very hands off approach. Most of her work happened after the birth.

I absolutely love the book ACTIVE BIRTH by Janet Balaskas.

I wish you the best. PM me if you want support. I can ask my midwife for some good literature on unassisted births.
Sure, everything can point in a "problem-less" direction and things can still go wrong. It isn't a scare tactic. Yes, plenty of times things go just as planned. Sometimes they don't. That is why there are trained professionals. Is there too many interventions in the hospital? Yes! Can you be an advocate for your care and have things go differentlt without succumbing to the "system"? YES!

Before there were hospitals, the most dangerous time in a woman's life was when she was giving birth. The maternal and infant mortality rate was more than 25%. No thanks. I will take my hospital and the trained staff in it. It just isn't worth the risk.
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Old 02-16-2011, 06:00 PM   #30
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Re: UC...please help me

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Don't do it.

I can give tons of links to RECENT stories where babies have DIED during or shortly after a homebirth, even homebirths attended by midwives. It isn't often that something goes wrong, but if it happened to you, you would never forgive yourself. 24 hours in a county hospital is worth it to me to know that mom and baby are ok.
women have been giving birth without medical intervention or medical staff present since the beginning of time. many parts of the world continue to give birth the natural way ... the sad fact is HUMANS DIE. babies are the youngest humans and yes, they can die too, even in a hospital.

our society is so removed from natural reality...
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