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Old 03-28-2007, 01:21 PM   #61
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Re: Very Serious Subject - I need help with please !!**UPDATE** in post #59 3/28

You might not end the cycle for your whole family, but you can end for your immediate family- your children- but cutting ties. IMO, now that you've stated this happened to your Mom too you gotta get out. It will be a never ending cycle and for some reason, people in your family aren't blaming those responsible. The way to end the cycle for you is to end w/ them - it just has to be done. Others might have stayed arond b/c its hard to end it w/ the family but the cycle is continuing. You are your children's advocate.

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Old 03-28-2007, 01:24 PM   #62
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Re: Very Serious Subject - I need help with please !!**UPDATE** in post #59 3/28

Hugs to you mama, glad he wont be around your little girls.
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Old 03-28-2007, 01:34 PM   #63
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Re: Very Serious Subject - I need help with please !!**UPDATE** in post #59 3/28

mama, it is an awful cycle that once started is hard to break, so many victims end up as abusers, ( i would guess your brother was abused as a child and unfortunatly didn't get the help he need and has now carried on the cycle) you do what is best for your family, if that means cutting ties then do that, but you need to decide. however i would never let any of your children near him or your mom's alone as they are not responsible enough to know what is best for your children.

i would also find a trusted person to talk with because i don't think you are over your experience either. it will always be with you but you can heal from it.

i know how awful it is i have been where you are, and it sucks. but deal with it head on and don't let your mom try and pretend it didn't happen.
pm me if you ever need hugs or help!!
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Old 03-28-2007, 01:46 PM   #64
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Re: Very Serious Subject - I need help with please !!**UPDATE** in post #59 3/28

I wanted to send you some major big hugs mama. I hope you are able to heal and discontinue the cycle of abuse at your family level. I am very glad you shared your personal life issue here to help other mamas. I am also very proud of you for standing up for your daughter's (and son's) if the case may someday be that. Kudos for you mama. I know your journey ahead may be difficult and long, but severing ties with an enabler of abuse is the best thing you can do now.
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Old 03-28-2007, 02:57 PM   #65
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Re: Very Serious Subject - I need help with please !!

Quote:
Originally Posted by football_cheer_mom View Post
It really saddens me to see that I am not isolated in my situation. I am so sick to my stomach. More often then not I feel so helpless.

When this happened to me I was so scared to tell, that I didn't say anything to anyone until I was 17 years old. (It happened from the time I was 9 until I was about 12) The only reason I said anything is because I was put in a psych hospital because I attempted suicide. I couldn't handle the pain or stress this had caused me, I finally said something, because I felt safe in the hospital, only to be told by my mom that I was a liar.

I found out I was pg with my son at this time, because they were testing my system for all kinds of things because of these attempts. It feels like just yesterday that this happened to me because it has opened old wounds.

I am so proud of my little cousin for being so brave in telling and not keeping it a secret.

Nikki
I would justlike to add.. I'm glad to hear that your proud of your little cousin. But, I'm sure she would be even more Glad to hear this. I think at this time, the best you can do is cut off ties, and somehow keep in contact with your cousin. She NEEDS SUPPORT. I know her mom is there for her, but I think you would be great for her to call, talk to , hug, and just really lean on you at her time of total weakness!!
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Old 03-28-2007, 02:58 PM   #66
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Re: Very Serious Subject - I need help with please !!**UPDATE** 3/28

nikki im really glad to hear that
take care
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Old 03-28-2007, 04:46 PM   #67
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Re: Very Serious Subject - I need help with please !!**UPDATE** in post #59 3/28

Wow, I am so very sad that this is happening to you and your whole family.

Are your uncles also the brothers or husbands of the aunts who have brought all this out?

If you decide to cut ties w/everyone, please don't leave out your cousin and also I'd think it would be good to let your aunts know how greatful you are that they told you. It sounds like they, too, are trying to break the cycle and you (all of you) at least need to know that you are all on the same page about that, even if you are not able to spend much time together in the future.
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