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Old 02-23-2011, 10:45 PM   #1
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wwyd?? bullying.

my daughter is being constantly teased by one girl at school, badly. she is 11.5 so we know the hormones aren't the best right now.
she has come home crying because of the girl being mean to her, she also rides the bus so she gets it on the way home

i am headed to school tomorrow to talk to the principal about it....wwyd??

my mama bear instinct is SO high, and i hate bullying.

also, the school is supp to have a zero tolerence policy on it.

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Old 02-23-2011, 10:46 PM   #2
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Re: wwyd?? bullying.

You need to call the school and speak to the principal and or vice principal.You need to also talk to the bus driver, buses here will not tolerate that neither and will issue referrals to the offender, 3 referrals and your no long allowed to ride the bus for the full year.
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Old 02-23-2011, 10:50 PM   #3
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Re: wwyd?? bullying.

I would contact the school but be calm...as much as you want to scream dont do it!

Also talk with the teacher...again no screaming. They may have no clue that this is going on (happening out of their room).

When I've had parents come to me on bullying, all of the times it has happened were during lunch, recess, or on the bus.
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Old 02-24-2011, 06:25 AM   #4
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Re: wwyd?? bullying.

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Originally Posted by karaintx View Post
my daughter is being constantly teased by one girl at school, badly. she is 11.5 so we know the hormones aren't the best right now.
she has come home crying because of the girl being mean to her, she also rides the bus so she gets it on the way home

i am headed to school tomorrow to talk to the principal about it....wwyd??

my mama bear instinct is SO high, and i hate bullying.

also, the school is supp to have a zero tolerence policy on it.
I'm responding even though I don't have a child your dd's age yet because I used to be this little girl. Starting around age 9 or 10 I was relentlessly teased by a handful of classmates until I hit my teens. I know those people now and they are not bad people (and no longer bullies)--although even now I would not want to be friends with them, but at the time they were just plain mean. It's so important to address this, if not at school, at least with your dd for her mental health. I remember coming home and crying in bed every night by myself, being quiet so my parents wouldn't hear because I didn't want them to think something was "wrong" with me and didn't want to disappoint them, but also wishing they *would* hear me and somehow fix the hurt. I blame this time in my life for ongoing struggles with depression, anxiety, and terrible self esteem that I am constantly battling even now, in my 30s.

I truly wish that my parents had known what was going on at school, and had taken me to a mental health professional--someone who could tell me that it wasn't my fault that other kids were mean, and that it was their low self esteem causing them to have the need to pick on me in the first place. I think if I could have known then that maybe those kids didn't have a great family life, or maybe they didn't feel good about themselves that I could have just brushed it off (and probably that alone would have ended the bullying).

Bullying is such a horrible thing. momma, I'm so glad you're trying to help your daughter with this! Good luck!
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Old 02-24-2011, 09:23 PM   #5
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Re: wwyd?? bullying.

No doubt, talk to the school... however (IMO, please keep in mind), it is not the schools responsibility to take care of these social issues. They have a role, but I really feel it should be facilitation of problem solving, not problem solving itself (if that makes sense). If the kids were younger, I'd say for sure talk to the other girl's mom/dad and her, to try to resolve. 11 is a rough age, so I'm not confident that this woulnd't result in WORSE problems.

Hopefully the school can offer some solutions, both from what they can (and should) do, as well as what your daughter and the bully can do. I'd hope they would speak to the other girl and her parents and offer some suggestions for behavior modification (as well as some sort of punishment). The school cannot control her behavior, and is not responsible for her behavior... she and her parents have that job, but confronting her and her parents may not be the best thing to do in this case, and at this age (IMO). Obviously, it's not your daughters fault, but maybe the school can help her with some coping strategies or ways to 'deal' with bullies... Again, that's a REALLY tough age for bullies, especially for girls.

As the PPs have said, take action, but take it respectfully. And let us know how it goes!
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Old 02-24-2011, 10:08 PM   #6
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Re: wwyd?? bullying.

We are also dealing with this right now too. What has helped us tremendously is the school put a camera on the bus that sends feed to a recorder so we can watch the tape and see what is going on. Video doesn't lie and its no longer he said she said. Its working for us because it no longer makes my daughter, who is also almost 12 (: look like a tattle tale. You should see if your district has the video camera system linked on their buses.

Good Luck mama, to you and your DD!
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Old 02-24-2011, 10:32 PM   #7
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Re: wwyd?? bullying.

I agree calm is your first weapon. Calm but STERN and SERIOUS in how you come over to others. If you don't like how they suggest it be handled then let them know it. Sometimes they try to push parents over because they think they know what is best. After 6 years of elementary I am just about ready to spit nails into some teachers eyes.

My 10yo was being teased and thankfully we have a good principal who took care of it. If trying to work with the principal doesn't work then go above her to the district. You don't want to mess around with this like PP said it can scar a child. I ask my son all the time about these things hoping he will tell me when it happens because we all know it will again. It happens to us all. I try to help him deal with what was said and what he can say in return next time. We try to come up with witty responses that usually shut up the ignorant. If my son has a problem with this in the future I will not hesitate to yank him out of school if all else fails. I would also go as far as to contact the parents and let them know that their kid is acting like a jerk. But that is just me and only what I would do when going through the school didn't work
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Old 02-24-2011, 11:16 PM   #8
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Re: wwyd?? bullying.

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No doubt, talk to the school... however (IMO, please keep in mind), it is not the schools responsibility to take care of these social issues.
I disagree. This is happening AT school & on the bus, both places where the school has responsibility for the safety(physical & psychological) of all the children in their care during these times.
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Old 02-25-2011, 08:01 AM   #9
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Re: wwyd?? bullying.

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I disagree. This is happening AT school & on the bus, both places where the school has responsibility for the safety(physical & psychological) of all the children in their care during these times.
This. It is the responsibility of the school to prevent bullying on school property which is also why they have a 0 tolerance policy in almost all schools.

Lots of luck to you and your daughter momma!
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Old 02-25-2011, 08:18 AM   #10
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Re: wwyd?? bullying.

I know exactly how your dd feels. When I was the same age as your dd, I was bullied on the bus. I did everything I knew to do to make it stop. I told the bus driver, who did absolutely nothing. I asked if I could move seats and he said yes. So I moved to the seat behind the driver and the bulling still didn't stop. The driver did NOTHING. So one day I had enough and with a lot of force I slammed the bully's face into the bus window and blood went everywhere. The bus driver finally responded and I was sent to the principal's office where they wanted me to be kicked off the bus. My dad was called in and he went to my defense and then the next week we had a knew bus driver. I probably would have been in big trouble, but our neighbor saw me getting off the bus crying several times and she told my dad. You know, after that the bully never messed with me again.

I know what happened with me is always the right way, but I had tried everything else. It was completely self-defense. Enough is Enough!! I would advise you to talk to the school. Had my parents known how bad things were, they would have done something about it.
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