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Old 02-24-2011, 11:52 AM   #1
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Why can't DH understand that I'm not thrilled to be pregnant again?

I know, he isn't the one who will have to go through most of the unpleasant parts but can't he at least work up enough interest to talk to me about why I'm nervous? DD is only 18 months and I'm worried that I'll be nauseous and won't be able to play with her, then later I will be huge and won't be able to chase her around or pick her up. I feel like I let him talk me into getting pregnant earlier than I was ready to. And I know that hormones are kicking into overdrive and making me feel like the sky is falling but isn't it his responsibility to be emotionally supportive? Even when he thinks I'm being crazy and repetative? Is it too much to ask that he not seem bored by this pregnancy that he pushed for?

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Old 02-24-2011, 12:00 PM   #2
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Re: Why can't DH understand that I'm not thrilled to be pregnant again?

I'm sorry you aren't getting the support you need from him. Some guys are just not very good at sympathizing. Each pregnancy is so different though so you might handle this one so easily and it not be a big deal at all. I hope that is the case because I know it is tough to have a young one and be pregnant again. The main thing is that this baby is already coming so it is in your best interest to focus on the positive and do whatever you need to to take care of yourself and receive some support. If thats not your husband, reach out to your friends or find things that make you happy in preparing for baby. Shopping always works good for me I hope things look up soon. We all have apprehensive moments and worries but focusing on the positive can really make a difference. Good luck.
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Old 02-24-2011, 12:16 PM   #3
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Re: Why can't DH understand that I'm not thrilled to be pregnant again?

Have him talk to your OB. Mine flat out told me that pregnancy and childbirth is a physical trauma to our bodies. Maybe that could help explain it to DH? I mean, the candid-ness of it. Frankly, I hated pregnancy (well, like 75% of the time). I didn't mind the "oh, look how cute you are!" and the neat feeling squirmies but other than that, I was mostly uncomfortable and I secretly am very bitter towards all the mamas that just want to be pregnant all the time and "have never felt better!!!!" than when they are preggo. Haha! Was your DH not around when you were vomiting every morning? Did he not have to ice your feet or hoist you out of bed every 2-3 hours throughout the night when you had to pee? Does he not remember the sliver of the edge of the bed he was assigned as you lay lampooned on the bed every night?? I bet my boyfriend remembers all of that quite distinctly! Haha! We're pretty sure we'd love another kid, but I'm in no hurry to get pregnant. It WAS hard on my body, and I can't imagine having to chase after a scampering child when I can't even see my feet which I need in order to chase! Maybe yall just need a real heart-to-heart. Take comfort in the fact that it's YOUR body, so you do ultimately have the say.
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Old 02-24-2011, 12:19 PM   #4
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Re: Why can't DH understand that I'm not thrilled to be pregnant again?

OK, hold on a second, I totally misread your original post. I did not realize you were ALREADY pregnant. I thought you were just talking to your husband!!! I am so sorry if I sounded callous at all; that was definitely not my intention!!

If you are indeed pregnant (and if I am indeed a moron), then in this case, I'd let him know that he's in for double duty helping! And try to relax! Because we know that stress won't help anybody. Now, go have a bowl of ice cream. I know I did!
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Old 02-24-2011, 12:24 PM   #5
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Re: Why can't DH understand that I'm not thrilled to be pregnant again?

Hugs!

My DH hasn't been AWFUL, but I feel like he could be better.

I'm exhausted & suffering from EXTREME morning sickness/bordering on HG and this pregnancy was an oops.


I find myself very resentful of being pregnant & I hate what its doing to me & Luke.

So I can relate to your concerns.

I don't have a lot of advice...just hugs.
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