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Old 03-11-2011, 04:03 AM   #11
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Re: I feel so guilty :(

I have the opposite situation. Girl, Boy, Girl, Girl. I think I felt a lot of disappointment that we were not having another boy. It was really eating me up, how was I going to tell my son? But then we told him and he said "oh good, I didn't want to share my room or my toys, I am going to be the only special boy in the family." Suddenly it didn't seem to matter as much anymore that he was going to be the only boy. After we got used to the idea that estrogen was going to dominate our home, we realized that we really didn't even care that much. Honestly our desire to have even boys/girls turned out to be more of our concern what other people were going to think/say. We didn't even realize initially that, that was one of the big reasons behind our concern.

My advice, for whatever it is worth. Go ahead and grieve the little one you won't be having, get it out of your system. Then evaluate your feelings on the matter, deal with those feelings. Then you will be ready to go ahead and embrace the coming baby. Buy a few new things for the baby (even though you probably have plenty of boy things) and just embrace him for who he is. Look at your two sons and note all of the differences in their personalities and know that this little one will be his own person too. It isn't like you will have three of the exact same thing. Embrace the testosterone that will ultimately be flowing through your house and plan to install a urinal.

Hugs! You will see this little baby and just absolutely fall in love. So don't stress too much.

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Old 03-11-2011, 04:50 AM   #12
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Re: I feel so guilty :(

i knew i wanted a girl so we didn't find out. When i saw his face it didn't matter anymore. I was slightly bummed after birth, but he was so perfect, its god's plan for me
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:46 AM   #13
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Re: I feel so guilty :(

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Originally Posted by hippieintraining View Post
I'm kinda with you! I'm convinced I'm having a boy (though don't know for sure) and am already a bit sad that I'm not getting my girl... but same, will be thrilled that my 15 month old DS will have a brother so close to his age.

My SIL went through GD pretty badly. She didn't find out with any of her three boys. When her DS3 was born, she wouldn't talk to anyone for days. She said she was in a really dark place, and really wish she had found out his gender ahead of time, to prepare herself. Almost two years later, she admits she's a bit sad she never got her girl, but she loves her boys so much, it's no issue.

Congrats!!!
Like another person commented, this is why I wanted to find out beforehand b/c I don't want to be sad on one of the most special days of our lives. My husband doesn't know that I know. I didn't tell him I found out. He didn't want to know the sex of the baby anyways, but I did so I was planning on having them write it down on a piece of paper and read it after the sonogram appt. I plan on keeping it a secret so nobody will blow it for my husband's surprise. I know he will be happy either way, so he won't have that disappointment that I am having.
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:08 AM   #14
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Re: I feel so guilty :(

Don't feel bad mama that's very normal. You have 5 months to adjust and I'm sure when you meet your new boy you will wonder what in the world you were so worried about because you will instantly love him.

I ma for some reason convinced that this baby is a girl. We won't know for 2 more weeks for sure but I just feel like ti's a girl. I've even bought a couple of girly diapers. I know if they tell me it's a boy I will be shocked and probably a bit disappointed but then I will just sell the girly dipesand look at some cute boy diapers to get myself excited!
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:11 AM   #15
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Re: I feel so guilty :(

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Originally Posted by tward33556 View Post
Like another person commented, this is why I wanted to find out beforehand b/c I don't want to be sad on one of the most special days of our lives. My husband doesn't know that I know. I didn't tell him I found out. He didn't want to know the sex of the baby anyways, but I did so I was planning on having them write it down on a piece of paper and read it after the sonogram appt. I plan on keeping it a secret so nobody will blow it for my husband's surprise. I know he will be happy either way, so he won't have that disappointment that I am having.
I did that with our last baby. Dh still 19months later doesn't have a clue that I knew the whole time
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Old 03-11-2011, 08:30 AM   #16
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Re: I feel so guilty :(

I felt that way with my first child. We didn't know till he was born, and I wanted a girl so bad!! It didn't help that he wouldn't breastfeed and I felt rejected by him. I had major issues for 3 weeks, and then it got better.

After my son we had 5 girls, and I started to feel bad for DH, and my son! We didn't have another son untill my oldest son was 18!!!
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