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Old 03-24-2007, 08:02 AM   #1
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I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

I somehow define myself as a mom to girls. I have two and I love being a girl mommy. I would choose all my children to be girls if I had such a choice.

However, our next child is almost assuredly going to be a boy. The program we have chosen to adopt from has more boys than girls and they will only place girls with families that already have only boys.

My dh does not care either way. When asked his preference, he would say he does not have one and what ever the gender that our child comes to us is perfect with him. When asked if he could choose, he said he would not. In a typical pregnancy, you cannot choose, therefore you should not be able to choose in an adoption either.

I am aprehenisve about raising a boy, to say the least. How stupid is that? Seriously it makes me nervous. What do I DO with a boy? What if I dont love him the same? What if he doesnt love me? Is that ridiculous or what? I can recognize the stupidity of my fears, but they are very real.

Can someone help me here? Can mamas of boys help re assure me that I will love having a son? Anyone feel this way prior to the birth of their chid that was a different gender than they already had?

Thanks mamas

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Old 03-24-2007, 08:23 AM   #2
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Re: I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

When I was pregnant with ODS I was devestated to find out it was a boy I mean I literally cried for days! I was terrified that I would not love him as mush because I DESPERATELY wanted a girl. Well I went along the rest of the pregnancy secretly hoping it was a girl. I was so upset that I could not even pick a name my DH named him (after himself so inventive ) So FF to delivery, As soon as he was out it was instant LOVE!! He was so perfect and beautiful and I LOVED him so much! I have 2 of each and I can say that I love my sons as much as my daughters!
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Old 03-24-2007, 08:25 AM   #3
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Re: I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

I love having boys. They are so cute and rough and tumble when they are little. I wouldn't be afraid to have a boy. A little guy will just light up your heart, especially if he's one of many girls!

I myself am more of a tomboy type of woman, never really been into the cutesey curly girl stuff. Having a boy is easier for me as I don't like to do all the fluffy girl stuff.
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Old 03-24-2007, 08:29 AM   #4
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Re: I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

My first is a dd and when I got preggo with dc#2 I wished so badly that that baby was also going to be a girl. When I had ds1 I was devastated at first. I wanted another girl in the worst way. But after looking at my ds and seeing how perfect he was and that he mine I coulnd't have cared less what sex he was. Now after having 4 kiddos 3 of them are boys and I wouldn't have it any other way. Boys are a lot of fun. I love all of my kiddos the same, boys and girl
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Old 03-24-2007, 08:30 AM   #5
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Re: I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

Don't be scared You'll be a great mom & fall in love w/your child no matter what the sex. If it makes you feel any better I was pregant w/my "girl" & he came out a def boy. I was so scared & freaked out but he is the best! You fall in love right away & adjust easily. You'll be just fine!
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Old 03-24-2007, 08:31 AM   #6
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Re: I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

well if i had a girl id be in YOUR shoes cuz i hae no idea how to have a girl cuz im not a girly girl AT ALL!! so id be introuble
hahahaha didnt help ya ,right???
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Old 03-24-2007, 08:31 AM   #7
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Re: I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

I'm the same as you, just opposite! LOL I wouldn't know what to do with a GIRL!!

I've birthed 3 boys (1 in heaven), we are raising 3 boys (1 adopted), and we have fostered almost 20 boys.... and 2 girls! Apparently our agency doesn't think I'd know what to do with a girl, either! And the 2 we had were 8 and 14, so not even babies....

Boys are fun. They run, they play, they fight, they get dirty. Same things girls do, but they just do it holding onto their penis!
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Old 03-24-2007, 08:33 AM   #8
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Re: I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

I felt that way when i was pregnant with ds, only i DID NOT WANT A GIRL. I had no idea what i would do with one. My mother really messed me up since i was a tomboy and i felt "wrong" my whole childhood. I really felt like i was being a little girl "wrong"....it was hard. My little brother is 11 years younger than i and i 'helped' raise him, so all my parenting fantasies were as a mom to a son. I got a son the first time (he's 4.5 now)....and was delighted.

IT turns out that mothering him worrked out all my 'kinks' and then when i had dd (7 months ago) i was delighted.

You'll be surprised. It is a fear like the fear that you have when you are expecting a second baby and you are afriad you won't have enough love for a second. It turns out you have more than enouhg. And you'll see, you will be delighted at the fun of a son.

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Old 03-24-2007, 08:33 AM   #9
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Re: I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

OHHH mama you will LOVE him the second you see him !! i had a girl 1st and thought OMG what do i do with a boy my mom and nana only had girls so NO in my family ( that i was close to had a boy) i was so scared but he got her and it was all GREAT!!! we now have 3 girls and 1 boy and i so WANT more boys my son is such a mama boy over my girls they much rather have daddy you will do GREAT mama
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Old 03-24-2007, 08:34 AM   #10
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Re: I'm afraid of having a boy. Help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ontariomama View Post
They run, they play, they fight, they get dirty. Same things girls do, but they just do it holding onto their penis!
ROFLLLLLL!!!!! Isn't that just the truth too!!!! They LOVE to play with that thing!!
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