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Old 05-02-2011, 01:03 PM   #31
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

Thats me to the T! Emotionally I want another now, but cognitively I know its not the right time. What helps me is just talking to DH about it. Sometimes (in his very masculine way) he does support me, my mourning and my grief. Also, we have set out a clear timeline so knowing I will get to experience pregnancy/birth again...soon...helps too.

Also, I try to really pay attention to/appreciate my life right now-live in the moment!! Although Im not pregnant again, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a wonderful DS, great DH (most of the time ), good job, we are financially stable, with only child I have time to develop hobbies/crafts/interests and volunteer, and the list goes on. So, even though another baby would be great, things are pretty good now too.

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Old 05-03-2011, 08:24 AM   #32
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

Add me to the list! I am reluctantly avoiding for 2 reasons- 1) husband isn't ready for another baby 2) I think it's better for the health of mother and baby to wait until the youngest baby is 2 to TTC, so that the mom can build up her nutritional stores for building the new baby. I'm still breastfeeding my daughter 4-6 times a day, so I'm still giving a lot to her. But, I feel like I'm more ready because I've stopped losing weight and AF is back...somewhat.

We may have an an oops earlier this week...so we'll see. (It would be almost the exact same day 2 years later that my daughter was conceived, ironically...)
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Old 05-03-2011, 08:27 AM   #33
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

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Originally Posted by ArtieGeekMomma View Post
I'm reluctantly avoiding. I've been ready for 2 years and we've been married for 3! DH wants to wait for our first, but I have kinda talked him into not TTA for our vacation in 3 weeks. I'm hoping that one chance will work, but I'm dreading knowing that it takes up to a year

Otherwise I'm reluctantly avoiding until April 2012 So I'm there with you gals!
Start eating lots of fertilty-boosting foods Liver, whole milk/yogurt/cheese, butter- great for fertility!!

hehe.
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Old 05-04-2011, 08:52 AM   #34
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

Right there with ya! I'm jealous of mama's that have DH's that WANT another baby. It seems that DH would only be happy with an 'oops', and that would be after he got over the shock of it. DS was an 'oops', and we love him to pieces. BUT.. it changed a lot of our plans. DH does the "not now" stuff... which I HATE! "Maybe we can try in a few months, we'll see"... or "Maybe we could have a baby next year, we'll see"... UGH!! Always putting it off further then the time before. Drives me crazy. But he does that with everything. He unfortunately has to be like.. pushed in. I really think if he wasn't pushed into parenthood.. that he would have never done it. Or done it WAY late. And I know he's super happy because of it. But it takes a little 'love shove' to get him there.

I am back and forth about it. I would love a baby next year, but I really wanted to find a better job first. I'm looking now, but who knows. DH is one of those "We'll have baby #2 when we are better off". And by that he means.. renting a bigger house, have better jobs, have money saved up.. ya know, all of the things that would take 5+ years to get done. .. sigh...

Right there with ya, though! I think we would welcome a surprise, but we will be TTA for atleast another few months, if not until the end of this year or beginning of next year.
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:30 AM   #35
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

THANK YOU for posting this thread!! I came to this area of the board to post EXACTLY this!! My DD is also 6 months and (to quote Gwen Stefani) "sometimes I wish for a mistake". My body totally shuts down the shop while I'm breastfeeding. Sperm, do NOT pass go, do NOT collect $200. I have a diaphragm but don't use it yet because I know I don't need it. Btw, if anyone thinks I'm wrong here and feels the need to explain the chances of getting pregnant while BFing..... please spare me. I know my body. I went two YEARS without a period while BFing my 1st and got AF back when my 2nd was 18 months (and that was only after I intentionally brought AF on with homeopathic remedies). Anyway, I totally relate and it is really hard! I know that I'd be utterly overwhelmed if I were pregnant right now and that (for me) having two that close in age would be CRAZY. My DH is really into having a big family and would be happy to have as many as I want and as close together as I want, but financially we need to wait and he told me how stressed it would make him if I were to get pregnant soon. ::sigh:: I must wait and I know that it's better that I do...but every time I see a newborn or a mama who's preggers, it hurts a little...

Just have to add though, I absolutely am madly in love with my DD. She is at the giggly stage and just got her first teeth. She gives sloppy kisses and wants bites of whatever I'm eating. I can't imagine life without her and I want to enjoy watching her grow up and I know I'd be exhausted if I were pregnant right now... There are so many reasons I need to wait and I am ok with waiting.

Sorry this is so jumbled and foggy! It's 3:30 am and I need to go to bed!!
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Old 05-12-2011, 10:21 AM   #36
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

I've found my peeps!!! Yup, mine is only 7.5mos and I want another so very badly. I know we aren't actually ready yet, and I want to give my lo the attention he deserves (an nutrition), but I just really want another! I like the idea of laying down a plan, we do that for everything else, but Kenny (husband) doesn't really want another...in fact, we thought we only wanted ONE, but decided siblings would be better. Now that we have 2, i want 3!
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Old 05-13-2011, 06:07 AM   #37
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

Oh NO! Im the thread killer!!! Please someone else pipe in!

How about this...for all those reluctantly avoiding...what do you do to pacify yourself in the meantime?
I've been focusing on loving the two I have to pieces and trying to live it up with them. They are FABULOUS! My almost 5yo is the wittiest little character and really digging learning to read. He fascinates me!
My almost 7mo is crawling as of two days ago and really going for it developmentally. He is a scrawny little one...only 14lbs still...but strong too! Sometimes I wonder if I don't want a 3rd because #2 has had so many little things wrong, like maybe I want to prove to myself and everyone else that I can have a healthy baby like my first...
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Old 05-13-2011, 07:30 AM   #38
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

I'm definitely in this group. DH and I have agreed to wait to TTC til sometime next year, because it's just the best thing for us financially. BUT, I have been ready to TTC ever since DS started becoming mobile and growing up! He's now 14 months and definitely NOT a baby anymore, and it makes me sad. A good friend just found out she's pregnant, and I will admit, I was very jealous (still am, a little!). Right now, I'm waiting for AF, and we had a potential oops about a week and a half ago, the day before O, and I keep finding myself hoping for a BFP, but knowing a BFN would be best. Honestly, I don't know how real of an oops it even was, and I think in my twisted mind, I'm making it out to be a much bigger thing than it even was. So, I'm going to just focus on getting healthy and spending as much time with DS as possible til next year when we can finally TTC!
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:01 PM   #39
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

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Originally Posted by percussionsmith View Post
Oh NO! Im the thread killer!!! Please someone else pipe in!

How about this...for all those reluctantly avoiding...what do you do to pacify yourself in the meantime?
I've been focusing on loving the two I have to pieces and trying to live it up with them. They are FABULOUS! My almost 5yo is the wittiest little character and really digging learning to read. He fascinates me!
My almost 7mo is crawling as of two days ago and really going for it developmentally. He is a scrawny little one...only 14lbs still...but strong too! Sometimes I wonder if I don't want a 3rd because #2 has had so many little things wrong, like maybe I want to prove to myself and everyone else that I can have a healthy baby like my first...
I'm usually a thread killer so I'm happy to speak up and keep this thread alive - especially since it really is helpful for me to see that I'm not the only one in this boat!

My two best friends both had their second children within the past 2 months. I was ready for another baby as soon as DS was born. He's been 3 for almost 2 months now and needless to say...I'm very very very ready for a second baby! It broke my heart when I found out my BFFs were pregnant since we'd had our first children relatively close to one another. I hoped that once they had their kids, I'd get to see how difficult two kids (particularly a NB and a toddler) would be and that it would pacify me for a while. My one friend lives out of state so I don't see her little one, but it is awesome to spend a few hours here and there with the newb that's local him! I do try to appreciate the little things I'll lose when we add to the family - the one on one time with DS, the flexibility to drop everything and do...whatever (most of the time, the fact that DS mostly sleeps through the night, etc. But the reality is that I'm anxious and it's hard to be patient! Trying to make the most of what we have while we pay off some debt and get closer to moving to a bigger place!
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Old 05-15-2011, 06:28 AM   #40
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Re: anyone else "reluctantly avoiding"?

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I am a reluctant avoided here. I want another baby pretty desperately. DH lost his job though so we are living off of my income only right now. Also DH doesn't want to have another baby until I finish off my PhD that I have been working on (or not really working on) FOREVER. Who has the energy to work on a dissertation after working all day then coming home and taking care of a 3 year old? Long story short I am avoiding but I want to be TTC.
Almost same here. Hubby's boss was a jerk and fired him on spot for calling off one day when I was down with pneumonia (and the flu on top of it), we had no babysitter. Right now, we live off of just my income, and I'm going to school to be an RN.
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