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Old 04-11-2011, 06:19 AM   #11
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This was a fear of mine when I went to announce and if you decide to do it by email, I found a pretty neat poem online that you can customize to announce. Good luck with your pregnancy and I pray you have a whole lot of support and this is joyful news (I'm preg with #4 too). )

Dear Family and Friends,
Have you ever cleaned your pocket
And discovered a ten dollar bill?
You really weren't expecting it,
But it gave your heart a thrill!
Have you ever opened the door
And there before your eyes
You saw the flower man standing
With an arm full of surprise?
Well a surprise is exactly what's happened
As our bio clock ticks away
The Lord has been gracious and perfectly good
By sending baby # 5 our way!
Yes that is right. It's not a mistake.
We could have told you in person.
But it's very important, you see
That we only see thoughts and reactions
Of happiness, smiles and glee!
So once you've had time to digest it
And been able to ponder it all
When you have a nice word about all that you've heard,
Feel free to give us a call!

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Old 04-11-2011, 07:58 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewCDMomTiff
This was a fear of mine when I went to announce and if you decide to do it by email, I found a pretty neat poem online that you can customize to announce. Good luck with your pregnancy and I pray you have a whole lot of support and this is joyful news (I'm preg with #4 too). )

Dear Family and Friends,
Have you ever cleaned your pocket
And discovered a ten dollar bill?
You really weren't expecting it,
But it gave your heart a thrill!
Have you ever opened the door
And there before your eyes
You saw the flower man standing
With an arm full of surprise?
Well a surprise is exactly what's happened
As our bio clock ticks away
The Lord has been gracious and perfectly good
By sending baby # 5 our way!
Yes that is right. It's not a mistake.
We could have told you in person.
But it's very important, you see
That we only see thoughts and reactions
Of happiness, smiles and glee!
So once you've had time to digest it
And been able to ponder it all
When you have a nice word about all that you've heard,
Feel free to give us a call!
Really like this. Made me cry. I am such a bag of hormones.

Most likely will use it.
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Old 04-11-2011, 08:10 AM   #13
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Re: How to tell my parents who wont be happy?

You just need to stand up for yourself and tell them that your family size is not their decision. When we got pregnant after our third everyone in my husbands family ganged up on us and one of the topics was us having another child. We we're actually told to learn to control ourselves by one of his aunts. Sadly we lost that pregnancy. Everyone at that point wished they could of taken their words back but they had already been spoken. So this time when we got pregnant again nobody said anything negative. I'm sure they we're thinking it but I think they all felt to bad about what had happened the time before to say anything mean or hurtful. Like someone else said I don't know how anyone could be upset about another baby. I mean its not like your asking your parents to take care of them for you.

I have never had an easy time telling my mom any of the times I have gotten pregnant. She just doesn't understand why we would want more then two kids. Although her pregnancy's for herself we're never a happy time and I'm sure a lot of people we're upset. With me she his her pregnancy until a month before she had me. With my sister she ended up placing for adoption. So from her point of view she doesn't understand why pregnancy and a baby can be an awesome and fun time. I try to remember that when I tell her also.
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Old 04-11-2011, 08:38 AM   #14
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Re: How to tell my parents who wont be happy?

I LOVE the little poem! It gets the point across but in a polite way and it's cute too!
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Old 04-11-2011, 08:42 AM   #15
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Re: How to tell my parents who wont be happy?

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Originally Posted by nannabean View Post
What about prefacing the announcement with a bit of warning. "I know last time were weren't thrilled, but I wanted you to know first". That way they can maybe see that their reaction stuck with you and think before they speak this time.
My parents were very much this way about our 3rd child, and if we decide to have a 4th, we'll be in your boat exactly. I like the above thought, but I'd add a little more, mainly because MY parents never realized that what they said hurt--or maybe realized it but thought it was totally warranted because we were being "stupid." I'd email them (unless you want to do it face-to-face) with "I know the last time you weren't thrilled about me beign pregnant, but your words then really hurt me, so I'm a little scared to even tell you. But I still wanted you to know first: I'm pregnant with our 4th! We are really happy and really excited!! Hopefully we can all share our excitement about it when we get together soon."

For me, I can't do confrontation. I'd end up emailing my parents OR doing what we did with baby #3, and telling them in a public place. We took them out to a local (cheap) crowded restaurant for dinner and made the announcement. Worked fairly well until the next day when all the not-so-nice comments came out as I spent the morning with them!
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:30 AM   #16
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Re: How to tell my parents who wont be happy?

I'm so sorry you're not getting the support and respect you deserve. I kinda know how you feel but it was my sister who said things like that. She was my maid-of-honor at my religious ceremony (dh and I couldn't afford a church wedding for a little while so we married in the courts until we saved the money). She was giving her "speech" at the reception and in front of some 60 odd family and friends she told me not to have have anymore children. Low and behold i found i was preggers a few days later. Just remember that every baby is a blessing, born or unborn and anyone that believes otherwise is wrong. God bless you and good luck!
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:47 AM   #17
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Re: How to tell my parents who wont be happy?

My parents were the same way with number but when I announced this time on fb before telling them they were kinda hurt. And more supportive than I thought they would be. You could be surprised. But if you know they will be negative go with the email idea.
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:58 PM   #18
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Re: How to tell my parents who wont be happy?

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Originally Posted by ashmomof4 View Post
I cannot comprehend a grandparent disgusted at the idea of a grandchild. If you know their reaction is going to be bad, I'd probably be tempted to email them, and make it clear you don't want to hear from them until they can be excited.
Exactly this. I'm so sorry, mama.
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Old 04-13-2011, 02:36 PM   #19
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Re: How to tell my parents who wont be happy?

This is just an idea, but I think it would be fun.
Go to the store and buy a congratulations on your pg card and put a message in there saying something like "Congratulations, your going to be grandparents again!". I would love to see there faces finding a congrats on your pg card, lol. Maybe it will surprise them so much they won't have time to even think anything bad.
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Old 04-13-2011, 02:52 PM   #20
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Re: How to tell my parents who wont be happy?

You got better advice from the other mamas, I would have been angry last time when they made comments, and probably wouldn't tell them this time. Let them hear it through the grape vine, or figure it out, then when they ask "why didn't you tell me?" give them the truth, that I didn't want the same negativity I got last time.
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