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Old 04-18-2011, 09:14 AM   #1
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Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

...when I leave the dr. office? My dd is 10 months old today, 30" and 17lb with a wet BGE.

The doctor is mad at me because I hadn't taken dd in since she was 3 months old. We Chose to delay vaccines to 6 months and in the interm I didn't want to expose my dd to whatever was in the dr office. I didn't see the point of possibly exposing her to cold/flu since it was peak season. When dd turned 6 months, she got sick a few times and I didn't want her getting vaccines while sick. After that life just kept happening.

@9 months dd bumped her head and I took her in right away. The dr was really mean and nasty towards me because she hadn't been seen since 3 months. I explained my reasons but she didn't care. I made an appointment to start vaccines (todays appointment)

So today she was still clearly bitter and biting her tongue. my dd is in the 10th percentile for weight (my odd and ds also were long and lean) and the DR is telling me that she is practically failure to thrive and that I need to feed her more I feed dd breakfast lunch and dinner and multiple snacks. I told her what I was feeding her ( fruits, veggies, whole grains and starting chicken) and she wants me to feed her white rice, white breads and white pastas. To supplement her with vitamins and possibly consider an artificial baby milk (formula) since my milk must be inadequate.


Even during earlier appointments, she always made feel inadequate.

Am I a bad mom? Am I doing it all wrong? I don't buy that my breastmilk is inadequate at all!

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Old 04-18-2011, 09:20 AM   #2
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

You are not a bad mom, you are not doing it all wrong, your milk is plenty!

That being said, I do exactly what you do with my 4 kids, with my ped's blessing. She encourages me to keep them out of the office during flu season. She knows that I will bring them in if something is off and that everyone gets in during the late spring-early fall time.

Also here is my big advice...

FIRE your peditrician and find one who supports you and isn't awful towards you. Find one who will not retaliate and treat you and your daughter like crap.
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:21 AM   #3
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

Oh and as long as your DD is meeting her milestones, I wouldn't worry.

2 of my children were 17# at 1 year old. We are smaller sized people, we just don't grow giants.
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:22 AM   #4
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

Find a new ped. My ped and I don't always see eye to eye, but if he ever started talking down to me like I was a horrible parent, I would jump ship immediately. Doesn't sound like your child is anywhere out of normal range and it's not like anything monumental happened in between visits. She likely would have said the same things even if you HAD been seen sooner.
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:23 AM   #5
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The only thing I see you're doing wrong is continuing to see that ped. she should nit make you feel like that. Find someone who supports your beliefs and treats you with respect.

And fwiw, your DD sounds like a fine size. Not every baby is going to be at the top of the charts.

Sent from my iPhone and usually NAK, excuse the typos!
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:32 AM   #6
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

Thanks mamas that makes me feel better. my dd is meeting all the milestones and is a generally very happy baby Do you think I should be adding more white breads, pastas and rice to her diet? Does she need these things? I figured brown rice was healthier as well as whole wheat bread and pastas.
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:34 AM   #7
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

I would not add in white stuff to her diet. It is not as nutritious.
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:36 AM   #8
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

I thought as long as they were still "on the charts" that they were "normal"?
Regardless have you pumped to get a general idea of how much milk you produce? I know a few mom's IRL that have not had a great supply and have had to stop(or had to go on various meds/supplements to continue). Your supply may be taking a dive with the intro to solids and/or your LO nursing less? I know I can get pretty offended when my mothering is questioned and the hurt will overshadow anything else.
Just a thought, I am by no means siding with the pedi as I had a poopy pedi and have recently changed to one a bit better but doesn't agree with some of the way I do things (want to delay vaxing for one example).
How lean were your other LO's? If your current babe is the same, and is eating, has adequate amounts of wet/poopy dipes, active, happy then who cares what the pedi says!
And I second maybe looking into a new doc, they should be professional no matter what they're personal opinion is!
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:36 AM   #9
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

Do NOT add white foods to her diet! They aren't healthy and you're doing an awesome job mama, find a new doc!
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:45 AM   #10
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Re: Why do I always feel like a bad mom ...

I agree with all the other moms, you are doing great; you just need a new doctor!!! Keep up with the whole grains and avoid the white stuff (I wish I had done that with my kiddos)!! Trust your mommy instinct!!! Good job!!
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